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"The quality of a life is determined by its activities." Aristotle I knew I was not the only one burying my true calling under the expectations of family and society, but all of us were silent. Then I read a line by an unknown fellow sufferer-if you know who wrote this, please contact me-that said "The society which I was made for is not here." It was one of those gifts from the Universe; knowing that I was not alone in my sense of being disconnected from my purpose, and that someone was willing to speak the truth. Was there a way to fashion my own version of life? The society we live in is not supportive, on the surface, of those who reject the path of safety and a 401K plan for the passion and purpose of their lives. We see "success" in all areas of the media, and it is described by the attainment of cars, homes, jewels, designer clothing, savings accounts, plastic surgery and even the snagging of a successful mate. This society is a vertical ladder of ambition and hard work. But there is another society, and that is one for which we ARE made. This society exists, but is not branded in commercials, entertainment shows or most magazines. What keeps us from acknowledging and celebrating this other world? Maybe it is the inevitability of its changing nature. When I was writing my book "Walking Your Walk: A Woman's Guide to a Spirit Filled Life," I included a chapter on work. From women in my workshops, I knew I was not the only one who survived the '60s as a homemaker and mother, not a flower child or feminist. Most of us made a conscious choice, one that required financial sacrifice, to fashion a life that revolved around home and community. We were not congratulated for that choice, and as we moved into the '70s, we were frequently asked "what do you DO?" when we acknowledged that we were homemakers. If there is one thing I want women to hear when I teach or write, it is that their choice is the only choice, and if the society which we were made for is not here, we will fashion it for ourselves. If it supports your passion and purpose, it will support your life. And, your choices will change at every stage of life. I believe that what keeps us from supporting and acknowledging the plethora of life choices is fear of not having enough "stuff," and, for women, fear of not having approval. My experience, however, shows me that you will get the "stuff" you want, not the "stuff" you are told you should want, and your approval of your self will be enough. Work is sacred, as it is part of life. Whatever we are doing, if we fill our days with integrity, are fully present and honoring of what we are doing, our work will be energy giving, not energy draining. After my children were grown, I began another career that I love every bit as much, though in a different way. Writing, teaching, counseling and being mated to a man who honors my intention are all parts of my life. The most important acknowledgement each woman must make is that her life is circular, not linear. Every time we go through a new cycle, our way of looking at life may change. Therefore, our desires for work and community may change. This is the true way, and one that flies in the face of the "onward and upward" ladder of success. Don't be put off by someone who says "women are always changing their minds." Of course we are. Change is the only thing that is certain. Life is more like a Mobius Strip than a ladder. Celebrate that, and do a daily scan of your self to see where you are holding back from change. My recent novel, "A Time to Reap," is written from the profound grief caused by the death of my child. And yet it is a celebration of the ever changing face of my life. That is what is meant by an organic life-one that follows its true nature. All of us are models to the world of a new way of seeing work-a sacred life journey filled with joy that will support us as we are meant to be supported. We are creators of our own lives. How amazing! As I write in one of my books, "In the long run, what we do is a large part of who we are and that is the most important lesson. We will be remembered for what we did, how we loved, what we gave back to this beautiful earth. No one will mention our salary on the day of our death. It is good to keep this in mind." |
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