Lessons For Living

Guest blog by Dr. Lillie M. Coley
Author of:   My Story: Tragedy Turned To Opportunity

Power of Forgiveness - We all need wisdom and discernment in handling any type of problems. If we reacted to the shock our parent's death by being unforgiving and with other types of negative reactions, we would not have made it here today. Life would have eaten us up. Holding grudges will destroy us. 

It takes power to forgive when the pain of hurt aches every part of our body. But through life experiences we must learn forgiveness and the importance of it. As we love and forgive, our divine intervention can help and deliver us, which sets us free to help others who are bound by circumstances and the inability to forgive. It's hard to help others until you have first helped yourself, although it is not impossible for hurting people to help hurting people. We must be very careful and use wisdom, because usually we will find hurting people hurt people. Whole people help heal people and make them become stronger.

Forgiveness, however, frees you to live, grow, and move on. Learning to forgive at an early age prepares us for the hurts that will come later in life. We had to "put something in our hearts called love" in order to receive the reward of being free in our spirits. Remember NO DEPOSIT, NO RETURN; what you put out is what you get back.

Forgive as soon as possible because the longer you wait the more damage it does on your body. Unforgiveness is a form of stress that wears and tears on the body.

Power of Healing - It is always best to expose the enemy or our bad habits in our own lives before someone else does. Often, when people find out something negative about you, they cannot wait to tell someone else. This is why we are telling our story, because nobody can tell it like we can tell it. When we tell, we are healed from it faster. Of course, we always must use wisdom and common sense. Use wisdom before you speak to provide clarity of thought and articulation of speech about what to say and not to say. But the healing process requires that we release that which hurts us in some constructive way. Communication is the best way, because it is so therapeutic. As we release the negative in a healthy way, then we have room to fill ourselves up with positive things. During our mending process, our broken hearts will be placed back together one day at a time and one piece at a time. But first, we must admit the problem has literally crushed our soul. Then we must seek to get the ultimate healing. No food, job, sexual experience, money or person can fix a problem like divine healing can. 

Memories are reflected encounters of life that have taught us and brought us to where we are. In other words, we are the sum of our past that has been designed to help us grow into our future. As we reflect and understand where we have been, it is then and only then that we can go to the next level in life. People have a tendency not to want to think about the past because it brings up so much hurt. But, often we must face our accuser, and it is through these encounters that healing can take place. We can be healed in the very place of our pain. Ask me. I know! 

Look at healing as living water. It never touches one person or one place, but, just like water, when it spills, it touches all that is around it. Now, living water will ignite what it touches, to bring life to anything that needs life. It is imperative that we get these lessons, because, otherwise, we may find ourselves falling into the same behavior patterns. Lessons in life teach us about ourselves and lead us on a road to recovery. The roads where it lead us often help us to apply what we have learned during our pain and healing to help others who are going through similar situations. This is what true destiny and purpose in life is all about: helping those to help themselves. The same comfort of healing we received from our parents, we are now able to use to comfort others.

Power of Loving Yourself and Being Whole - We must seek help for all the hurts and pains in our lives. We should take care of them like we would take care of other areas of our lives. Unresolved issues do nothing more than get worse over time. We are not in our problems alone. There is somebody somewhere who is going through something similar. Seek help because it is the right thing to do, and do not worry about what people think. Mentally and physically free yourself from people and their negative opinions. We must seek to be around people that will not poison or vex our spirit but build us up. We need people for encouragement and correction in love. Being free in our minds from carrying unnecessary weight is really the life we want to live. Otherwise, we will be enslaved to ourselves, and our problems will mentally weigh us down. Destruction usually follows along with a life of unfulfillment. Please seek help until it is found, and continue to knock until a door is opened. After every 'No' there is a 'Yes' somewhere.

We must be honest with ourselves first, and then take it to someone who gives us morally and sound counsel. This person should be a good listener. Remember that love is the only thing that changes people. We cannot change anybody but ourselves. As we love people where they are, we love unconditionally, and this helps them move into wholeness. This direction of growth must be our own self-will.

Life's not designed for us to make it by ourselves. Everybody needs help. Seek to find the strength to overcome, and become a VICTOR instead of a victim. After divine revelations, we finally felt completion or closure to our parents' tragedy. Our mind was at rest, and we had peace with the situation. In addition, our mended broken heart was now in sync with our renewed minds. They were of one accord. From this encounter, we became completely "whole" in this area of our lives. We now felt free and had more strength to share our story with others. From these encounters came our mission in life and Community Empowerment Outreach was born. An organization to help those who have similar stories as ours and those who need to be empowered. As we understand our self-worth and have self-identity we can become whole and complete with strength to move on and help others along the way.