Women Whose Noise Complaints Have Been Dismissed Are Asked to Advocate for A Quieter Environment by Arline L. Bronzaft, Ph.D. GrowNYC

In New York City, I have served on the Board of GrowNYC (www.growNYC.org) for thirty years (non-paid position), having been appointed to this organization by the present Mayor and the four former Mayors. Our website provides information on noise and as the individual who has conducted research and written extensively on the adverse effects of noise on mental and physical health, people are directed to contact me if they need assistance with personal noise problems. (I have been called the Noise Lady). Since noise intrusions are a major complaint in New York City, I do hear from many people with most contacting me after having first sought help from the 311 Helpline and the city’s agencies to whom their calls were directed.  Over the years, I have developed techniques to assist many people successfully, but not always. One successful case involved a caller hearing the bed banging against the wall shared with her neighbor when the neighbors were having sex. The woman knew the housekeeper and I suggested telling the housekeeper that she has heard the bed bang against the wall (omit sex part) and it was probably damaging the wall.  The housekeeper moved the bed and the noise disappeared. Additionally, people around the country have also sought my help with noise problems, contacting me often after reading one of my publications or hearing my interviews on podcasts and in the radio.

While both men and women have come to me exasperated with having to deal with their noise problems, I have found that many more women seek out my help and a large number are older women.  Additionally, women callers frequently live in small studio apartments and cannot go to another room that could possibly be quieter. My findings are largely drawn from the many complaints I get about residential noise, often covered by the “warranty of habitability” clause of one’s lease, and most are complaints about noise from neighbors. There are also complaints about noise from building equipment.  Many of these women have already complained to the landlord or managing agent, generally male, about the noise and tell me that their complaints have been dismissed. Those who have not directed their complaints to the landlord or managing agent are generally too timid to lodge a complaint with the person in authority. Women also complain to owners of nearby loud bars and restaurants but report that their complaints are not taken seriously. 

Early in my conversations with the women who call me, I tell them they have a right to live without intrusive, harmful noises and that they should not be intimidated by those in charge who have ignored their complaints. I start out by writing letters on the behalf of these women to the responsible agents and then follow up with phone calls.  Most of the recipients of my letters and phone calls are male. They frequently label the women who have complained as just being “sensitive” to sound.  While there are people who are more sensitive to sounds, and others that are less sensitive, I explain during these calls that the majority of people fall in the middle range and these people are being “reasonable” about the sounds that are bothersome. I also note that others having to live in these apartments would probably find the noise intrusive. When I am told that people have the right to make sounds in their apartments, I reply that they do but their sounds should not intrude on their neighbors’ rights to “reasonable quiet” in their apartments.  Often, I am told that the superintendents have not heard the noises when they visited the apartments. With many superintendents being male and having worked with loud equipment for many years, it may very well be that they have some hearing loss.  Thus, they cannot hear the intrusive sounds.

Let me assure you that noise is an irritant that has been intruding on the lives of many people worldwide, causing them stress, a loss of sleep, physical and mental discomfort, and a diminished quality of life. Going to www.growNYC.org/noise, will introduce you to the relevant research on noise impacts. Knowing that there is literature linking noise to adverse health impacts will be helpful in addressing the noise problem. Secondly, one must become familiar with the bylaws governing noise restrictions, whether it be noise from overhead airplanes and helicopters, neighbors who play their loud music into the early hours, or construction sounds that not only rattle one’s windows but also one’s “nerves.”  People are too often left to their own means to find out about their rights re: noise intrusions—intrusions that disrupt their daily activities, their sleep, their desire for some peaceful, restful relaxation, and more recently, with so many people now working out of their homes, their livelihood. They also have to find out whom to call with a noise complaint.

New York City noise complaints are, for the most part, dealt with by the New York City Noise Code which New York City passed in 1970 and then updated twelve years ago.  (https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/dep/downloads/pdf/air/noise/noise-code-guide-summary.pdf). It is largely the New York City Department of Environmental Protection which enforces this Code with a designated group of agents. Yet, this Code does not oversee noise from overhead airplanes and helicopters, controlled for the most part by the Federal Aviation Administration and local airports.  Also, the Code does not cover the many residential complaints from neighbors. Residents have to depend on the “warranty of habitability” clause of their leases. Then, whom does one call to complain about noise.  In New York City, residents generally call 311 and their calls are directed to proper agencies under the Noise Code.  However, with regard to many of the neighbor to neighbor noise complaints, landlords and managing agents have to be contacted directly.

Now that I have provided some information on noise as a health hazard as well as where you can learn more about the New York City Noise Code and to whom to direct one’s complaints, let me explain further as to what one can do to lessen noises in their lives.  Do find out if others in your building are disturbed by neighbor or building equipment noises.  Ask them to join you in contacting building management.  In numbers, there is greater strength and a greater likelihood that action will be taken. With regard to neighborhood noises, e.g. nearby loud restaurant, noisy metal plates on the road, do ask your neighbors if they are similarly disturbed and have them join you in your efforts to reduce the noise. Such complaints can be taken directly to the Environmental Protection Agency, police precincts and public officials.  Do learn who your local public officials are and remember the City Council passed the NYC Noise Code.  To parents who have children who are attending schools that are noisy from within or from without, e.g. passing trains, nearby road traffic, etc., please read the research on the adverse effects of noise on children’s learning and work toward achieving quieter learning environments for your children.  

Do not let the dismissive attitude toward women complaining about noise stop you from taking action to ameliorate the noise.  Instead, let this negative reaction be the incentive to direct you to the activities described above to lessen the noises in your life. On a more positive note, let me add that some of the women with whom I have worked on noise problems, have indeed become more active in reducing noise in their environment for both themselves and for the many other people who have been similarly affected by nearby noises. They understood that less noise in our environment would result in improved health and well-being for all of us. Less noise will also provide greater opportunity to tune in to the wonderful sounds in our environment, e.g. birds singing, gentle breezes, leaves blowing in the wind, which might very well be drowned out in time if the noises in our environment are not abated.

"Marketing vs. Sales" by Anna Lieber

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." – Henry Ford. 

Business owners often confuse marketing and sales. But the distinction is really simple. Marketing is communicating what you do to generate prospects and increase visibility. Sales is converting prospects into clients. You need both. Here’s why. 

First, we all know commitment takes time. Before you marry, you date to get to know one another. Doing business is similar. It’s what we call the “know, like and trust” factor. 

Second, marketing is an ice breaker that warms up your leads. Prospects can be confused because they don’t understand how to judge your expertise. Sometimes they don’t even understand what you are talking about. Your knowledge base is simple to you but it’s a foreign language to them. 

Marketing educates prospects and helps take the fear and uncertainty out of a buying decision. It moves them from a flying leap to a more comfortable leap of faith. It’s that trust factor. The discount clothier Syms says “an educated customer is our best customer”. And we’ll add an educated customer guarantees a better experience for all. 

Third, marketing attracts new prospects. A company which markets all the time, via traditional, viral or guerrilla techniques, in good economies and bad, slow times and busy times, has the edge. Marketing generates brand awareness leading to a larger pool of warm leads and greater success.

Strategic marketing provides a select audience – you attract interested prospects instead of needing to track them down. Attracting rather than chasing – what could be better? A known brand is the comfortable choice. It makes decision making intuitive and creates raving fans.

Sales or converting prospects to clients is the next part of the process. There are various sales methodologies but most use a variation of these steps: qualifying leads, approaching them, presenting or demonstrating, probing for needs, answering objections and closing the sale. 

Sales skill is essential in moving prospects from stage to stage but marketing ensures prospects feel good about the decision. Expert selling is consultative and meant to create lasting relationships. And marketing continually communicates your expertise. 

The bottom line: Sales success is facilitated by good marketing. Marketing plus sales is the winning equation.

"Ideal Client Profile" by

Every business needs to generate referrals to new clients. So it’s imperative to know who we want as clients. A prospect is someone who has a need, ability to pay and the authority to make a decision to buy. But to design a better business, one which is more profitable and enjoyable, we want to be aware of first-class prospects, those who are likely to be our very best clients.

A ideal client is one you most enjoy working with, who is receptive, committed and can successfully use your product or service. They understand what you do and appreciate the value you bring. They may have purchased your type of product or services before and therefore require less time and education.

The most qualified leads come via referrals. Therefore the more specifically you can define your ideal client, the more likely you can communicate to get the right referrals. And the more focused your target, the easier to determine how and where to market. 

Develop your ideal client profile. Analyze your best clients using the following criteria:
€ gender, age 
€ income, education
€ position, industry 
€ type, size of of company 
€ need or problem
€ professional organization 
€ trade magazines, newspapers 

Use the profile in your conversations. Let others know the kind of people you want to work with and how to recognize them. Once you’ve determined your ideal client, you’ll find it’s a lot easier to find them. 

"Design: the Ultimate Brand Booster" by Anna Lieber

It’s no coincidence that products and services with high design values become household names. FedEx, Nike and IPod are a few examples. 

Tom Peters in his excellent book “Re-imagine!” says: “Design is the NO. 1 DETERMINANT (his caps) of whether a product-service-experience stands out–or does not.” 

Peters also quotes Fortune magazine: “Design is treated like a religion at BMW.” Hey, doesn’t everybody want a well-designed car? If the design is slipshod, what about the safety? It’s ironic that many of us will spend a premium to equip our offices with well-designed furniture and our kitchens with beautiful appliances. Yet, there is a disconnect when it comes to our business brands. Small business owners have a difficult time making an investment in good design. Rarely is it valued as the most critical brand component. 

And just as often corporations fail to manage their valuable brands. Time and resources are wasted as different departments produce materials which don’t even resemble each other. Lack of consistency is the ultimate brand killer. 

Our recommendations: appoint a brand leader, create brand guidelines, integrate your materials, educate your staff. Use great design to set your company apart. 

Some of you run creative businesses; others are business owners or corporate managers who work with design firms, writers, web developers, etc. In any case, to ensure a positive outcome, you need to manage the design process. Here are a few tips:

€ START WITH A PROPOSAL AND A TIMELINE 
Determine the project scope in a signed agreement. The proposal needn’t be extensive but it must outline the project parameters, deliverables, work process, fees and payment schedule, usage (if it applies), preliminary timeline and cancellation policy. An agreement will help prevent problems.

€ SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE
The larger the project, the longer the commitment and the more extensive the documentation. A contract prevents miscommunications which disrupt the relationship and derail the project. Sign the contract before work begins. It’s a lot harder to negotiate after a fallout occurs. 

€ AGREE ON WHO DOES WHAT
Agree about the number of design choices, number of revisions, how you will handle printing or computer programming, and who supplies content (copy, images). Agree also on the client’s responsibilities and time frame on approvals, especially if there is a tight schedule created by an event or other deadline. 

€ MANAGE THE RELATIONSHIP
Many clients don’t fully understand the design process and what’s required of them. The client is concerned with being satisfied with the results, finishing on time and not going over budget. The designer’ is concerned with creating a great product, making sure the client is happy and charging for time spent. Sometimes these concerns conflict. Most disagreements occur when services additional to the proposal crop up. If they do, be sure to discuss it before proceeding. The designer’s role is to educate the client, manage expectations, schedule and budget, and charge fairly. And the client needs to communicate their needs, make timely decisions and agree to pay fairly for all services rendered. 

€ DESIGNER’S ROLE
Design firms can help projects go smoothly by creating a simple but structured work process. Create a welcome package to walk your client through the way you work. Get a deposit before beginning work. Get additional payments as the work progresses. Make sure you are buttoned up. If things do go wrong, be honest and correct the problem quickly. Clients hate surprises.

€ CLIENT’S ROLE
Clients can help projects go smoothly by educating yourselves about the design process. Practice due diligence in choosing a designer whose work you like. Realize good design takes time to percolate. Be reasonable. Handle the project professionally as you would with an attorney, accountant or doctor. And if you negotiate a lower fee, understand what you will be giving up. Know what’s included, what’s not—before beginning a project. Do your homework and ask the questions. 

Most important, remember design is a partnership between client and designer. Each shares responsibility for the success of the final design. 

"Are You A Commodity Or A Brand?" by Anna Lieber

Business owners often tell me they are frustrated when their service is seen as a commodity, virtually interchangeable with others. So how do service providers get out of this quagmire? And how can purchasers distinguish one designer from another, one accounting, technology, construction firm from the rest? 

We all know it’s not always how much something is worth but how much people think it’s worth. Consider the beauty industry where cosmetics companies put $3 worth of skin cream into $10 worth of packaging and charge $100. And if you had told people twenty years ago that we would all be paying for bottled water, they would have laughed. 

Why do we pay a premium for brands like Starbucks and Perrier? One answer is that their product is better, they give us a better experience and ... because they’ve told how they are better. 

So first, realize that your clients want to understand the differences but find it confusing. Second, understand it’s your responsibility to show them how you are different and better. And third, recognize that image and perception are everything. 

Rather than emulating competitors, figure out what you possess that they do not. What sets you apart? Is it your special capabilities, training, patents and trademarks, industry knowledge, access to resources, proprietary processes or just plain know how?

Now how do you change perception? In plain English, toot your horn. Once you’ve developed a clear and sustainable competitive advantage, drive it home with the right brand message. Communicate frequently with clarity and consistency. 

We trust companies we know and so to create value make sure others know you. A recognized brand is worth more. That’s what we mean by brand equity. 

"10 Marketing Mistakes: Are You Guilty" by Anna Lieber

1. YOU SPEND TIME ON SALES, BUT NOT ON BRAND BUILDING
Sales flow more easily, once you’ve built a brand with a point of view. 

2. YOU SPEND MORE TIME SECOND-GUESSING YOUR CREATIVE TEAM THAN SELECTING IT
Once you’ve selected a great team for their expertise, let them do their job which is to make you look good. 

3. YOU DON’T HAVE A CREATIVE TEAM
If you wouldn’t let your nephew fix your car or your teeth, why would you let him mess with your company brand? It’s just as important. 

4. YOU HAVE NO STRATEGIC VISION
It’s essential to develop a shared vision, with all members of the team pulling in the same direction. 

5. YOU HAVE NO MARKETING PLAN
If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there. Creating a dynamic, actionable plan is the foundation for control over your marketing. And planning is not a one-time event, it’s a process. You don’t know where to begin? Call me quick.

6. YOUR POSITIONING STATEMENT IS WEAK 
You don’t have a positioning statement? You don’t know what a positioning statement is? Check the Q & A above.

7. YOU HAVE NO SPECIALIZATION
A specialist will usually win over a generalist. Find a special niche and communicate it convincingly. Passion plus experience attract clients. 

8. YOU CREATE DIRECT MAIL FOR THE CIRCULAR FILE
If you have no strategy, no position, no call to action, no contact information, it’s pointless. Take 5 steps back to strategic vision. 

9. YOU HAVE NO MARKETING SYNERGY
What’s that? A mix of marketing initiatives will get your pipeline flowing. 

10. YOUR BRAND IS DULL 
You have no brand personality. Don’t take it personally. Change it. 
Strategize. Then add some snap, crackle and pop. 
     

Rememberance by Alethea Jacob on March 13, 2003

You stand in the center of your own universe.
You are the love in the heart of your creation.
Give voice to the song in your soul longing for expression.
You are the messenger unfolding the message.
A truth ever known yet joyfully forgotten to delight you with discovery as you travel on.
You are blessed and holy despite any appearance of the profane. 
Refining your purity and power, your innocence and peace is a gift of revelation.
The Earth is your home and you are her home. 
For she would have no being without the song of creation you collectively sing.

Heaven On Earth byline: Dr. Adrian Calabrese

When someone dies we realize how short life is. You know I'll never forget something I saw on television many years ago. The actor, John Travolta, had been in love with a women who was many years his senior, an actress, named Diana Hyland. She had a terminal disease and passed away. He was quite young at the time and was devastated by her death. Later that year she won an Emmy award. John accepted that award and I will never forget what he said that night. He said, "I realized something when Diana died. Death is right here," and pointed to his left shoulder. He said, "Death is right here, learning right over our shoulder." It impressed me that there was a man who would live the rest of his life cherishing each day, because he had a personal tragedy to remind him of how wonderful life is. What about the rest of us? 

Are you living each day as if it were your last? Think about that. We have to. We have to put all sadness aside and we have to live, and live and live. We have to not let hardships in this life, the ups and down's, take away the joy. We don't know how long we're going to be here. I'm not saying that to be morbid. I think we have to realize that there are things on the planet that make us happy now. We can enjoy them everyday, and not put them off. Don't be one of those people who says, "When I have enough money ..." or Next week, after I finish such and such I'll do something for myself." Do what makes you happy now, not only for yourself but for others.

Treat people as kindly as you can. I want to leave a legacy of love behind me, and I think you do, too. If you treat people with love and kindness each day it doesn't matter what the fates have in store for you because you're leaving your legacy of love to them, but, if you live each day in sadness dreading the morning, you're not leaving a legacy of love behind. You are leaving a legacy of sadness and depression.

I think we have to learn to value each moment on this earth. We have to live as though today were the last day of our lives, with joy, love and happiness. If your attitude is pleasant, or at least you try to be happy and joyful each day you'll begin to see life in a different way. You will truly be living the spiritual life. We all know people who carry negativity around with them. They have an energy about them that is heavy and dark. These folks don't have one nice thing to say. They have a critical comment about everything and everybody, and we don't want to be around them. These are people who are not leaving a legacy of love and they are not living a spiritual life. If they were to leave the planet tomorrow how many tears would be shed? The point is what are you leaving? What is your gift?

Death is really nothing to fear. It's bliss over there, that's why they call it Heaven. It's better there. When people cross over, they're in a better place. It's a happy state, not a sad one. The people that we love who are on the other side live in happiness eternally. We're the ones who live with the possibility of darkness and sadness. I'm suggesting something to you today. I'm suggesting that you create bliss. I'm suggesting that you create Heaven on Earth because you can have it. Many people see death as a solution to their problems and their agony. It's not. Death is a reward for your sticking it out here and paying your dues. That's what death really is. Its a compensation for having stuck it out, having struggled and having made it. When you die you go to bliss because you deserve it. It's not an escape, it's a gift. You stayed, you learned your lessons and you did all you could. If you create a happy life you'll carry that joy with you to the other side. If you created a life full of distrust, greed, negativity and sadness that's what you will carry to the other side.

Live each day as though it was your last. See each new day as your first. Make it a good one. Get up in the morning and don't say, "Oh I've got to go through one of these again." Instead, get up in the morning and say, "Thank you God, for giving me another one of these beautiful mornings. What can I do today tot make it worth living?" Do one thing each day to make your life joyful whether it's paying someone a compliment, doing a favor for someone else, or bringing artistic beauty into your life. All you need to do is gaze at the sunset, or the moon, or the river, or a flower. Bring one into your home. That's all you have to do to make your day worthwhile. Live each day grateful to God for the valuable gift of life. Don't yearn for things. You have everything you need right now. Don't long for the future. Instead, make today count. Create heaven on earth.

BUY HER BOOK: Sacred Signs: hear, see and believe messages from the Universe

"Is Your Marriage Ripe for an Affair?" byline: Arleah and Morrie Shechtman

Five Surprising Warning Signs What drives peoples to infidelity may surprise you. Selfless devotion is at the top of the list.

Quick, answer this question with the first thing that comes to mind: If you were worried that your spouse might stray, what would you do to prevent it? Maybe your knee-jerk response is: "I'd lose 20 pounds and upgrade my wardrobe." Or, "I would shower my spouse with expensive gifts." Or, "I would be extra attentive to my spouse so she would realize how good she has it." If your answer resembled any of those above, bad news: You're on the wrong track. You've bought into a common misconception about what causes affairs in the first place. 

Most people assume that people have affairs with someone more attractive, sexier, or richer than their spouse. Despite the clichés-the mid-life crisis situation where the husband runs off with his much younger secretary, for instance-that's not what infidelity is about. People who cheat generally choose someone busier and more goal-oriented than their current partner. Someone more interesting, in other words.

That's right. The harsh truth is that when one spouse strays, it's probably because the other spouse has become, well . . . boring. So your focus on your appearance or your desperate attempts to please your partner completely miss the point. 

Here are a few warning signs that your marriage may be ripe for an affair:

1. You don't challenge each other. Unconditional acceptance is a myth. Healthy marriages require a mutual willingness to challenge and be challenged. An "Oh, I'll let the little woman do whatever makes her happy" attitude is condescending and harmful. If your partner lounges around in her bathrobe watching TV every day and you say nothing, then you're not invested in her well-being. Maybe she's depressed. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she's succumbing to laziness. Regardless, the message that she gets loud and clear from your silence is that you don't care. Not only do you have the right to make reasonable demands on your partner, you have the obligation to do so.

2. You and your partner have become an amoeba. Getting married does not mean morphing into a single person with the same interests, hobbies, and friends. If you and your spouse do everything together, something's wrong. If your partner is not allowed to have a life of her own, she will eventually become resentful. Similarly, if you're over-interested in her life, wanting to know or be involved in every detail, she will feel intruded upon and smothered. True intimacy requires two people having independent lives, not two people living through each other. The best marriages are low-maintenance marriages.

3. One person selflessly lives for the other. Shechtman likes to tell the story of Bernard, a heart surgeon, and Stacy, the wife who selflessly devoted herself to him. She supported him through medical school. She stayed home and raised his kids. She prepared gourmet meals for him, often complete with heart-shaped ice cubes. And one day Bernard left Stacy for a disheveled photojournalist, two years his senior, who chastised him for stealing a cab she'd just hailed. Why? Because the photojournalist was interesting. Selfless devotion is boring. Bernard could have hired a housekeeper and a caterer. Gratitude for services rendered is no replacement for a stimulating partner. And by failing to cultivate a life of her own, Stacy deprived Bernard of that.

4. Everything centers on your children. It's easy to succumb to the temptation to make your kids the center of the universe. Don't. For too many parents, running kids to and from soccer practice, dance lessons, and weekend parties becomes an insidious dance of intimacy avoidance. When you are reduced to being little more than an appointment secretary or a taxicab for your children, there's precious little time to develop an identity, a life, of your own. Remember, children are temporary. One day they will grow up and leave and your marriage will still be there. More to the point, you'll still be there. So devote at least as much energy to your personal growth as you do to the social life of your kids. 

5. You don't have meaningful conversations with your spouse. Does the question, "How was your day?" unleash a monologue, a laundry list of activities, or a cacophony of complaints from you or your partner? If so, you're missing the point of communication. Quality communication is the heart of intimacy. (And you thought it was sex!) If you're confused about what constitutes a high-intimacy dialogue, here's a clue: It centers on feelings, not information. Instead of merely reporting to your partner what happened to you that day, tell her how it made you feel. Even if you have only ten minutes a day to talk to her, make those ten minutes count.

Interestingly, most of these warning signs are variations on a common theme: abandonment. If you don't care enough to become an interesting partner, if you don't challenge your spouse to "be all he can be," if you fail to connect with your partner emotionally, you might as well be a disinterested roommate. Abandoning your spouse is the first step to checking out of the relationship.

So what can you do to affair-proof your marriage? The answer can be summed up in three little words: Get a life. 

Set goals and work toward them. Immerse yourself in a career or activity that interests you. Don't just hop from one random activity to another. Have a vision of what you want your life to be and do something every day in pursuit of that vision. Take some risks. And challenge your spouse to do the same. Even if it causes some temporary discomfort, remember that a healthy marriage isn't about comfort zones and status quos. If you settle for comfort, your marriage will die.

There's one other point I would make. Create a rich, rewarding life for yourself and if your spouse did have an affair and ultimately leave you, you would be well-equipped to cope. Interesting people just have more resources, be they money, social connections, or potential new romantic partners. There are no guarantees in marriage. The only person you can count on to always be there is you. Being abandoned by a spouse is far preferable to abandoning yourself. 

BUY NOW: Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage

"FENG SHUI FOR LOVE: 9 Decorating Mistakes That Could Be Preventing Cupid From Coming To Your Home" byline: Laura Forbes Carlin and Alison Forbes Sow

Wondering when Cupid is going to find his way to you?  Assess your situation and figure out what is detouring Cupid from visiting your home. Maybe your home is too cluttered with mementos of past loves and he can’t get in. Or perhaps you're sending him the wrong message by decorating for one! But by simply pulling out your iPhone and making some quick adjustments, you can have an enormous impact on whether or not Cupid strikes on that special date.

Feng Shui, an ancient Chinese approach to arranging our surroundings, shows us how our homes influence and shape all aspects of our life. In Feng Shui, there are nine areas of your life, including your love life, that are represented energetically in your home. Depending on what furniture and accessories you have in each spot, you could be helping or hurting the corresponding part of your life. So if your love area is where the bathroom is, it’s no wonder your relationships keep going down the drain!

Ex-Files: Avoid filling your home with pictures, letters, and belongings from an ex. Letting go of photographs, letters, and mementos from past relationships can present a challenge. Sometimes spending time with intimate memories from your past can be a healing and empowering experience. However, if looking at these photographs and letters is not helping, or if they are keeping you tied to someone who is no longer in your life, then it’s time to let them go. Instead, surround yourself with things that reinforce who you are now and where you're headed.

Home For One: Many singles often have a bedroom set up for one person (i.e., one bedside table, one reading lamp, one pillow) or the long side of the bed is pushed up against a wall so only one person can enter the bed comfortably. While it is important to accept and embrace where you are now, it is also necessary to make some space for a partner. Create a room for two people — both symbolically and physically make space for your future partner. Set up your bedroom for two by adding the extra bedside table and lamp. Check the other rooms in your home as well. Is there a comfortable place for two to hang out?

Immature Decorating: Rooms that look they are designed for girls and boys rather than men and women are a real turn-off. If you are a man, avoid the “college frat room look” or the “bachelor pad” (i.e. mattress on the floor, futons, shot glass collections, high school trophies, dirty dishes in the sink, clutter everywhere, etc.) If you are a woman, avoid a room or apartment that resembles your childhood room (i.e. doll collections, stuffed animals on the bed, too much lace or pink, sorority signs, baskets of dried flowers, furniture that looks like it is meant for teenagers not adults).

Solitary Items or Groupings of Three: Create a home that re-enforces the idea of togetherness and a couple by pairing objects in your home together. Lots of lone objects can represent loneliness and groups of three may represent one too many people involved in your relationship.

Excessive Pictures: An abundance of photos showing friends, family, and other people’s children, as well as too many pictures from one particular time in the past (such as college), can divert focus away from your own life and the present moment. Create space for new people in your life and a new “best time of your life” by creating room for new photos.

Unfinished or Temporary-looking Homes: Many people hold off on decorating or buying a home until they're married or living with someone. They don’t buy expensive or nice things because they want to wait until they have a “real” home (which, of course, is frequently associated with getting married, registering for gifts, and buying a house). By surrounding yourself with things you don’t love, are not in good condition, or that you feel are second-rate, you’re subconsciously telling yourself that you don’t deserve better. It’s important to invest in yourself now and embrace the present moment. By doing so you are sending a message to the universe, as well as yourself, that you are worthy. You are also accepting where you are now, which often leads to change.

A Television in the Bedroom: Ideally, the bedroom should serve only two purposes: rest and romance. Yet, because of laptops, televisions, and phones, bedrooms are often more like media rooms than sensual and peaceful retreats. Don’t let a television replace a partner in your life.

By implementing Feng Shui and enhancing these areas in your home, the corresponding area in your life will be enhanced as well. “A lot of people don’t believe it until they try it for themselves,” said Alison Forbes, one of the co-authors of the app. “Once you see your home through the eyes of Feng Shui, it changes everything, and it works! A few of our clients have even toasted Feng Shui at their weddings!”

While Feng Shui in the past has meant hiring a consultant or doing a lot of in-depth reading, using Feng Shui For Love is as simple as moving your iPhone around a space — it shows you, live, which areas of the room are which – and the rest of the app gives you the perfect enhancements to make Cupid want to take up permanent residence in your home.

"Vocabulary and Its Importance" byline: Anne Sawyer

Introduction

Language is our most-used and best communication tool. We begin using rudimentary words as infants and toddlers to get our needs met, often changing bottle to baba or water to wawa, as we gain linguistic control. As we grow older, it becomes more and more important to be able to articulate clearly what we want to express – whether it be to teach, give directions or instructions, to express emotions, or for gain – to flatter or bargain. Human beings are social animals and we yearn to connect with other humans, to understand them and to be understood.

Why is it important to have a good/strong vocabulary?

We are judged not just on the external cues, such as appearance, age, gender and race, but also by other categories, including education, social position and what we do for a living. The ability to move fluidly between social strata and turn situations to our advantage has a great deal to do with context, and how we speak, because this is one of the crucial ways in which we present ourselves. Just as you wouldn’t choose to wear a wedding gown to a job interview, or a bathing suit to the beach, you would be wise not to speak to your boss in the same ways and language that you use with your four-year-old child. Each situation demands different language choices, and the greater your vocabulary the more choices you have. Just as we want our doctor or our automobile mechanic to answer our questions in “layman’s terms”, there are times when it is necessary to skew ones word choices to the situation at hand.

How can one tell if one’s vocabulary is inadequate?

The New York Times can serve as a good litmus test. If you find that you are reading an article or novel and come across so many unfamiliar words that you lose track of the story, that’s one sign. When I was younger and came across a word that I did not know, rather than looking it up in the dictionary, I would just skip it, thinking that it wasn’t important. Of course that led to my missing important plot points on many occasions.

If, in social situations or at work, you find that you are hesitant to join the conversation because you don’t follow all the words that the people around you are using, or you hesitate because you are afraid of appearing stupid, that’s a sign.

If you find that you use the same words over and over to express yourself, words like “wow”, “yeah”, “awesome” and “like” – and you’re not a 13 year-old, then you may need to bolster your vocabulary.

What if you know words, but are hesitant to use them in conversation?

In a case like that, it would be helpful to look the word up in the dictionary, consult the definition, examples and pronunciation given, and begin to insert the word into conversation. Start with a new word each week or every few days, and don’t use it to impress people, but when the word truly serves to express exactly what you mean. For example, a word that you hear all the time, but probably don’t use often is “ubiquitous” which means omnipresent or “present everywhere” – not like God or oxygen, but as in cellular phones or handheld palm devices. 

What are some tricks to improving vocabulary?

If you really want to improve your vocabulary then you need to become very aware of language. Listen for new words when you are out in the world or when watching television. Write them down when you can and later, look them up in a good dictionary. You can try to infer the meaning of the word from the context in which it is used, or the conversation around it.

Reading is the number one way to improve vocabulary. I recommend fiction – novels and short stories, as well as journalism – major newspapers, magazines that include fiction selections, such as The New Yorker, …And make note of unfamiliar words so you can look them up.

If the situation is appropriate, such as with a friend or colleague in private conversation, then don’t hesitate to ask the person for the meaning of an unfamiliar word they have used. Even I have developed the ability to just ask – there are so many words in our language, that there’s always a new one just around the corner.

Other ways to improve are to engage in word related activities – such as playing Scrabble, doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper, buying a Word of the Day calendar, subscribing to an online vocabulary booster, reading books of puns and jokes and then telling them to others.

"Savings is Leverage: Cash is King (Queen)" byline: Dr. Audrey Reed

At a recent Debt Free Diva Seminar, a participant asked why should I save? With interest rates so low, why should I put my money in the bank?

It is a really good question. What is the advantage of having a savings account, with interest at less than 2% on a good day? 

Savings accounts hold the money that we might normally keep around the house or in a checking account until we decided to buy something with the "you could have saved this" money. Savings accounts will give you the small advantage of interest without the stock market worry. And when you do decide there is another place you want to invest, it is there for plodding along like the tortise, you know the one that won the race.

Going to the bank and setting up a savings account is nurturing. It gives us a lift (almost as good as chocolate or shopping). Saving or investing is like shopping without the bags to carry home. I love to go to the bank and hand over the cash….yes cash, not a check…to nurture me, even if I have a check that could be put right into the savings account I will stand in line twice for the Yummy feeling I get from the cash rich ritual.

$1. I cash the check
$2. I take it over to one of the desks or a cozy chair.
$3. I count the money, put it in order (1's - 100's) and bless each and every dollar bill, grateful for the abundance.
$4. I then go back to the teller and put my money into my savings account.
$5. I get the receipt in my book, say thank you with a bright smile and I am good to go……feeling rich and rewarded.

When you are ready to take your money out of the savings account to invest in other ways, you may be surprised how the money has grown. Then invest in your dreams, but keep some liquid funds available for that rainy day, and may it never come…

A pound of prevention is worth an ounce of cure, as my mother said. Yes, I have a mother, too!

This is a habit that lots of affluent people I have interviewed tell me they do. The bank knows who they are, they could be anonymous, they could bank by Internet, but the choose to be recognized as a participant in their money matters. So they show up, act friendly, joke around with the tellers, learn whom the assistant manager and bank manager is, and know them by name and face. 

My friend Rosalee from Austin, Texas says, when I first started to go to the bank and deposit money into my savings account, it was $20 a week. Every week. The bank tellers must have thought it was cute.

Now 30 years later, I have a substantial portfolio, and have developed a great relationship with my bank.  I developed the relationships when there was nothing. Now that there is a substantial portfolio, I am honored to still stand in line, chat with the other customers and tell the teller what a great job they are doing for me. That works! 

How does the savings become leverage?
It is the fuel that allows you to make investments without touching your saved money.
When you have money, you don't necessarily need to give that money to a lender, they will allow you to keep the money in the account or in a Certificate of Deposit (CD) as collateral for the loan or business/personal transaction.

It is like owning a house…..cash is always queen.

Last month, Stella got a line of credit from her bank for $25,0000, for her new business.
She does have $15,000 in her savings account, that the bank had her put into a CD to guarantee the loan. You will notice that she has kept the money and the interest coming into her account. The bank will only take the money and interest if she defaults (does not pay when due) on her line of credit.

Magic! Yes, because we don't normally think like this….. a great way to use OPM (other peoples' money) and keep your own in the bank creating some ROI (return on investment).

Be blessed.

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Powerful Brand Leadership by Anna Lieber

Q. How do we define a brand today?

A. A brand is a promise to the community. It is an emotional connection which promises a certain level of quality, honesty and integrity whether it applies to a person, a product or service. 

If you have a daycare center, your community is the mothers in your area and you are promising reliability and excellent care for their children. If you are a CPA, your community may be businesses or individuals who need tax consulting, and you are promising honesty, integrity and a high level of competence. If you are a jobseeker, you yourself are the brand and you promise a high level of commitment to anyone who receives your resume. There is a great deal of competition in every area. Today, you can’t even get a date without marketing yourself. 

Some brands seem to grow magically, like Starbucks, for example.

A brand needs to be relevant to the times. There’s a good reason why we drink coffee at Starbucks today and not Chock Full o’ Nuts. Starbucks recognized the need to create a coffeehouse community. They grew their brand quickly, and without advertising, simply by recognizing a need in society so they could be ahead of the curve, and creating a great brand experience. 

Q. How do you create a brand?

A. Too many people think a brand is simply a logo. A brand identity is much more. The brand is a personality expressed by how you look, how your office looks, your letterhead, your web site and promotion or your resume, how you answer the phone, in short, through every means of communication. 

The brand personality will be very different for the daycare center (colorful, fun and energetic) than for the CPA (dignified, businesslike and conservative). A brand must be appropriate and descriptive of the business or individual through its look and feel. Sometimes it helps to start with the key words which describe your business. 

Q. How do you know if you are being strategic? 

A. Strategize who you are, what you’re selling and who your target audience is? Decide exactly what you stand for and develop a set of key messages which answer the questions: What can I offer? What is my core competency? What do I specialize in? What do I believe in? 

It is imperative to strategize by analyzing yourself and then your competition. In marketing we do a SWOT analysis. SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Understand thoroughly who you are. Determine your unique point of difference. What distinguishes you from your competition? And don’t forget, what could you do better? It’s easier today to do competitive research or competitive intelligence than ever before because of the internet. 

Make sure you know what your clients want. Only then can you fashion products and services that are marketable and build an image which is credible, relevant, unique and durable. 

Q. How do you create a corporate identity?

A. So now you are finally ready to create a brand identity, a visual representation. The brand identity becomes a powerful tool in getting your message out. It may be a logo or type treatment which you integrate into every communication whether it’s a letter, a web site, an email, a resume, a product package or a service brochure.

Do not create it yourself unless you are a graphic designer. And don’t let your nephew in high school do it. You wouldn’t let him fix your car or perform surgery on you. Don’t let him experiment with your brand either. It’s far too important. If you can’t afford a designer, hire a design student through one of the design schools. Although they are beginners, they’ve had design training which is essential.

A powerful brand identity creates memorability through repetition. Create a letterhead, business card and envelope which all match. When you develop a web site, integrate the same look here.

Once you have a brand identity, how do you get the word out? 

Start by creating key messages about yourself, your product or your service. Then market these messages every chance you can – to everyone you know. You have a database – even when you start out. It’s your address book. Tell everyone you know what you are doing whether it’s through a letter, a postcard, a web site or verbally via your elevator speech. That’s the basis of networking. We all use our networks to find a doctor, a babysitter, or a job, or to buy a house. And we need to spread the word about our business in the same way because no one knows you are out there until you tell them. 

Q. What is an elevator speech? 

A. Figure you are in an elevator and going up to the 10th floor. You meet someone and you must tell them in two to three sentences what your business is, or what position you are seeking. It should be succinct, compelling and answer the questions, who you are, what you do – and most important, why they should care. The key is there needs to be a benefit. What’s in it for them – or if they can’t use your service, what’s in it for your target audience – because surely they know someone who could use your services. The elevator speech needs to be scripted and to roll off your tongue without thinking.

Q. So an elevator speech is a networking introduction?

A. Networking is essential in marketing our businesses. It’s the key to getting what we need in life because we are all part of a community which shares information. That leads me to the role that content and knowledge management play in creating a brand. 

Q. What do you mean by “content”? 

A. Brands today are required to be brainy and to have a “brand voice”. You have information to share. And you will want to figure out how to share it so that you and your brand look smart to the right people, your target audience, those who have a need and are qualified to buy your product or service. You want to engage them to create interest and credibility. 

With so much information out there, how does creating content help my client?

In our cluttered environment, your role is to simplify the process for the client who has too many choices. You are the “portal of trust,” a term coined by Robert Reich “The Future of Success”. You, the expert, will navigate the waters for a client who is terrified to make a mistake. 

Q. What types of marketing initiatives will prove your credibility?

A. Use your brand to show yourself as an expert. Create content on the web, write an article, run a workshop, send an email newsletter. Even a simple promotional letter outlining your accomplishments of the past year can be instrumental. Your clients may not know what you’ve done for other clients. Start what I call a clipping campaign. Send your clients and prospects articles of interest. Selling today is not really about sales. It’s about starting a dialogue and being a resource. 

And marketing is not about advertising. It’s information sharing in a global community. It’s about creating a brand personality which represents you and your company in a way that creates maximum credibility and visibility. Educate those around you and give them something of added value. In the “New Normal,” a leader in business or in life needs to connect by creating a brand, then make a contribution to the community, and success is sure to follow. 

"The Pendulum: A Practical Tool for Everyday Living" by Anne Williams

Imagine being able to hold a pendulum between your thumb and index finger, watch it swing clockwise, counter clockwise, or straight back and forth to give you a yes or no answer. Imagine being able to get information from a readily available but generally untapped source. The pendulum, a tool for investigating energy, is not widely included in scientific studies, yet it can definitely be used for self-diagnosis and research.

Radiesthesia, also known as dowsing, is an ancient practice, which today attracts both holistic practitioners and lay people alike. It is most renowned for detecting underground water, for which about 80% accuracy has been demonstrated. Use of dowsing instruments, including pendulums, has also proven effective in locating oil mineral deposits, missing persons and objects and, as suggested above, in obtaining health related information.

The Egyptians, Hebrews, Incas, Chinese, Greeks, Roman, Druids, and Polynesians used "divining" devices of various kinds. Chinese use of such devices dates back to 2200 B.C. as far back as 9000 B.C. in Peru, a rock carving depicting a man with a forked rod was found. Today, we are taking a new look at ancient occult wisdom. Organizations dedicated to dowsing are found today throughout Europe, Africa, Israel, the Middle East, and New Zealand. The American Society of Dowsers, founded in 1958, is headquartered in Danville, Vermont and holds yearly conventions attended by national as well as international participants.

Why Use a Pendulum?

A pendulum is a practical tool for investigating and dealing with health-related concerns, matters of the heart, and other personal issues. A special feature is that it is small enough to be carried in one's pocket or purse.

The pendulum can help you discover what food allergies or intolerances you have as well as which foods your body needs, which vitamins or mineral supplements are necessary, and how much and how often you should take them. The pendulum will let you know which colors stimulate or relax you, which profession is most suited to you, which exercises are best, and how strong your self-esteem and emotional balance are. There is no end to the type of questions you may ask and the more creative you become, the more information you will gain. Wouldn't you like to ask about a car you are thinking of buying? An investment you are considering? The value of a book you want to read? The interest level of a lecture or enjoyment of a musical event beforehand? The possibilities are limitless.

How Does the Pendulum work?

There are many theories about this. Perhaps the most popular is that all substances radiate electrical waves which, through practice, become especially concentrated in the body. Since these electrical field contains both positive and negative charges, our bodies function as supersensitive receiving sets, and the concentrated energy causes the pendulum to move.

Using Your Pendulum

The pendulum may be made of any number of materials, usually pointed at the end and suspended by a thread, string, or chain approximately 4 to 12 inches long. The pendulum itself may be of any comfortable size or may weight as little as one eighth of an ounce. It may be used with various charts as an indicator of information or it can be held directly over the body to locate weakness or disease.

You will need to train your pendulum to work for you. First hold it over your right leg just above the knee. Now ask the pendulum to move clockwise for an affirmative/yes sign; then hold it in the same manner over your left leg and ask it to move counterclockwise for a negative/no sign. For the left-handers these signs are sometimes reversed. When you have completed this step successfully, you are ready to hold the over foods and charts and ask it questions about yourself and others (this is where the table or guide is useful). When holding it over foods, remember that it will usually gyrate clockwise if the food is beneficial and counterclockwise if it is not.

It's best not to let anyone else use your pendulum. In time it will become accustomed to your own particular energy and should not be confused by anyone else's vibrations or electrical field. Competent use comes with practice, so be patient. Do not use the pendulum when you are tired, ill, or under the influence of alcohol or drugs as the reading may not be accurate.

While the pendulum is used for a variety of purposes, it is not infallible and should never replace common sense. It is merely a tool for evaluation. Understand that the pendulum is one way of tapping areas of the brain with which we are often out of touch. Make your questions as clear and explicit as possible. Word them carefully. If you wish to ask if it is raining now, for instance, indicate the local: the pendulum isn't a mind reader and may not know that you mean in your neighborhood. Similarly, state what period of time you want to know about (now, at 7 pm, tomorrow?). State who the dowsing is for. Always be specific, clear, and as objective as possible. 

We all need to lovingly be our own special support system and to be in a mental and/or spiritual place uncluttered by negativity of any sort. A pendulum can be an important resource to incorporate into your daily life. All you need is a pendulum and the patience to practice a few minutes each day. The results can be very rewarding.

"In Favor of Work Why Women Shouldn't Be Opting Out" by Ann Marlowe

A lot of women who are unhappy with their work lives will say something along these lines: business is hell, and no one in their right mind would want to do it, and men only do it because they have to. That women are the only ones able to see straight, or allowed to act on their seeing straight. That anyone in his or her right mind would RATHER be at home with the kids. (Of course, men don't have the option of not working, or not providing for their families. Men don't have the cultural permission to blame their lack of perseverance on anything but themselves.)

We hear this argument a lot. I would like to make the opposite argument for a change. I would like to suggest that women are not acting in their own best interests by being so cynical about business. They are short-changing themselves, not just in terms of financial independence and the rewards of a higher income, not just if they get divorced and end up with a reduced standard of living, but in terms of their personal development.

The men, as they more or less stoically struggle onward, come to realize that "endless meetings" are the stuff of life in the business world; that other people are not an obstacle to getting one's job done, they're the reason you have a job. The men see the hostility in the faces of their rivals and still persevere, befriending or neutralizing or ignoring or going head to head with them. Gradually, and not without grave errors along the way, they grow into mentors and leaders. 

They see that the occasional opportunities for promoting a subordinate to a job worthy of her talents, teaching younger colleagues, or firing a selfish or abusive manager are the forms of ethical action that their path has provided for them, and that they are not small or unworthy challenges. Men learn that a top job is demanding and consuming in the same way that the work of an artist is, because being a high level executive is an art, and one that few are talented enough to pursue. 

Only a tiny number of the men will make it to the top, of course. Those who drop by the wayside at some stage may gladly or not so gladly accept a subordinate position, leave for a smaller company, start their own business, change careers radically. But they will have all learned something, not least of all about themselves. 

I do NOT mean to suggest that making money is the only worthwhile goal on earth. Quite the contrary. Art, science, politics, public service, caring for the sick, raising children - there are good arguments to be made that each or all of these are more important and noble. The fact remains, though, that most of us work in business jobs, and whatever meaning we can extract from those forty hours a week is what we have to subsist on. And it's not a poor diet. 

Those who would tell you that the deck is stacked should be ignored. If every child had to decide to walk based on whether or not she would be a champion runner, most of us would still be crawling. Of course the deck is stacked: there is only one CEO of every company. Any person's chances of heading a major firm are low. But just as most of us enjoy walking, most of us can enjoy working. It's the journey that counts. And if you don't make it to the top, the reason isn't likely to be your gender. 

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Demystifying Prospecting by Adrian Miller

Prospecting for new business does not have to be a daunting experience. By following these simple "rules", success should be yours. But, no shortcuts. If you want to succeed, be honest with yourself, and follow these techniques closely.

And remember: "Victory belongs to the most persevering"   Napoleon Bonaparte

· The voice mail message that you leave on a cold call MUST include a BENEFITS STATEMENT. That means you must answer the age-old question that every prospect asks themselves when they hear a pitch..."what's in it for me!" If you do that, you'll increase your percentage of returned calls.

· You must speak SLOW enough for the prospect to ACCURATELY record your name and telephone number. The best way to do this....write down the number yourself when reciting it. If you can record it, so can the prospect.

· Yup...we all know the adage....features tell, benefits sell. Then how come so many of us still speak in terms of features and not benefits. The prospect doesn't care what your product or service does, they only care about what it does FOR THEM.

· Not everyone responds to the same benefit. Make certain that you open your sales presentation with a "general" benefit that appeals to all, or most, prospects. Then, probe for your prospect's "hot button."

· Don't expect prospects to listen to a monologue. After the opening benefits statement, "engage" the prospect with a question.

· The best questions to ask are open-ended. Closed-ended probes get a "yes," "no" response, or maybe a number. Open-ended probes encourage description, feelings and dialogue.

· Do not ask more than 2 questions in a row. If you do, you'll sound as if you are conducting an interrogation. Prioritize your probes carefully. You never know when the prospect is going to interrupt and stop you in your tracks.

· Try to overcome objections BEFORE they are raised. Proactively address prospects' points of concern and resistance. Don't back off from objections. While they are not the most pleasant part of the dialogue, they provide you with the opportunity to re-sell.

· The worst objection is the one that is unspoken.

· A request for literature is not a dead end. Do not automatically assume the prospect is a deadbeat. Agree with the prospect that you will send them literature. Tell them that in order to make certain you send the information that is most relevant to their needs, you need to ask some questions. Make certain that the questions will allow you to re-sell and close again. Ask the prospect exactly what they are looking to see in the brochure / literature. Perhaps you can tell / explain it right then.

· All prospects that request literature should get a return phone call. Probe and find the best time / day to callback. Send out literature within 24 hours. Better yet, ask if you can fax the literature.

· You won't make a sale, or get an appointment, unless you ask for it. Closing rids the prospect of uncertainty. Closing is a call to action. You have to close more than once on each call. Be prepared.

Make prospecting a commitment that can't be broken. Commit to a specific number of hours per week. Schedule the time (no cheating!)

Remember, in life you miss 100% of the shots you never take (thank you, Wayne Gretzky). The best time to start…NOW! 

Teaching Customer Service Reps The Art of Listening by Adrian Miller

Effective listening is perhaps the most valuable skill you can teach your Customer Service team. It is the linchpin in a needs-based, consultative service strategy that determines and delivers what the customer needs and wants.

Simply put, listening enables reps to draw customers into an interactive conversation in which they can ask perceptive questions, probe for reactions, and respond to those reactions appropriately.

But most people aren't natural listeners, let alone trained in the art of listening. That's probable because real listening involves letting go of ego---temporarily subjugating one's own agenda in the interest of understanding another's message. The fact is, however, that most of us either don't hear the message at all, or hear it but misinterpret its meaning.

Listening can be especially, and understandably, difficult for Customer Service Reps because they are under pressure to handle a volume of calls, and therefore are concentrating on what they have to say next instead of paying close attention to what the customer is actually communicating. Nevertheless, there are techniques you can teach reps to use that will demonstrate real interest in the customer--an excellent way to establish rapport and a powerful form of communication.

Tips and Tactics

Listening involves several steps: hearing what is said; interpreting what it really means; and responding in a positive way that shows that the message has been understood and is considered important. There is virtually no better way to create a favorable impression than by showing others that you are interested in and value their opinions. Moreover, it is sometimes the only way you can elicit attitudes and discover needs--information that is crucial to satisfying the customer.

Here are some simple tactics for effective listening:
? Tune out distractions and focus on each call as if it were the most important of the day
? Concentrate on what the customer is saying rather than thinking about what YOU want to say
? Don't interrupt; a customer's willingness to talk, within a reasonable time period, represents a golden opportunity to find out the problem / situation
? Don't jump to conclusions
? Become attuned to tone of voice and inflection; these can be as telling as the words themselves
? Occasionally repeat what the customer has said--it shows attention and comprehension
? Ask for clarification if a statement or objection is vague
? Create rapport by smiling (even in telephone sales a smile can be HEARD through the phone!)
? Take notes to be sure you remember the customer's key points
? Be familiar with common questions and problems and practice responding in a natural, conversational manner
? Control your emotions and be courteous, no matter how rude the customer might be
? Continually evaluate whether you are asking the right questions to uncover and solve the problem

Other Management Tools

Managers who provide reps with good training and thorough preparation on how to provide excellent customer care will give reps the confidence to be extemporaneous--to listen and respond--without losing sight of the ultimate goal; to satisfy the customer you. Teaching by example is, of course, a great way to make a point. Managers who listen to employee needs and encourage listening in staff meetings and informal group situations will help reinforce the value of this important skill. 

Finally, keep in mind as you train your reps in the art of listening that the process requires not only strict attention to what is being said, but its nuances and innuendoes. The exceptional listener is one who has learned how to use intuition to sift through the verbiage, find the salient nuggets, and turn them to advantage.

What goes around comes around. Respect rights of others, especially your parents. Your children will learn from your good example and if you are lucky, they will not throw out your precious "junk" behind your back when you are old. 

White Mushrooms and Grilled Ramps on Toast by: Alexandra Guarnaschelli, Exec. Chef Butter Restaurant

6-8 servings

4 tbsp. Extra-Virgin olive oil
1 small yellow onion, peeled and finely diced
2 small cloves garlic, peeled and minced
2 sprigs fresh thyme
¾ pound white mushrooms, stemmed, washed, dried and thinly sliced
12-18 fresh Ramps, washed and trimmed 
1 tbsp. Balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp. dry Marsala
½ cup sour cream
The zest from ½ lemon
1 tbsp. chopped (fresh) parsley
1 tbsp. chopped (fresh) tarragon
Toast
Kosher salt and freshly-ground white pepper to taste

Note: this recipe can be served with roasted meats or a piece of fish. In this case, it will be served on little pieces of Rosemary toast.

1. Heat a large saucepan over medium heat. Add 2 tbsp of the olive oil and the diced onion. Season with salt and pepper and cook until tender, 3-5 minutes. Add the minced garlic and lower the heat. Add the thyme and the mushrooms. Season with salt and pepper. Cook until the mushrooms are tender and a lot of the liquid has evaporated at the bottom of the pan, 8-10 minutes. Remove and discard the sprigs of thyme.
2. Heat a large sauté pan until it smokes slightly. Coat the ramps with the remaining olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Add the ramps to the hot pan and "char" them slightly. Turn the heat off and allow them to cook an additional minute or two until they become tender. Remove from the heat and drizzle with Balsamic vinegar. Turn them onto a flat surface and cut into bite-size pieces.
3. Add the Marsala to the mushrooms and cook until the flavor of the alcohol has mellowed considerably, 5-8 minutes. Add the sour cream and allow it to melt over the mushrooms. Check the seasoning. Add the lemon zest, parsley and tarragon. Taste for seasoning. Bring to a simmer and serve on toast immediately. Top each with the ramps.

Suggestions: This would be delicious with a Gruner Veltliner - Veltlinsky for example. . I love the acidic bite and the slightly carbonated character of this wine. It would nicely compliment the earthy mushrooms and cut through the creamy flavors as well. If in the mood for red, I would love to see this seasonal nibble with something as noble and exciting as Vega Sicilia Valbuena 2000. Wow!

Tangerine-Marinated Olives Aceitunas Aliñadas con Mandarina by: Anya von Bremzen

2 cups mixed cracked green olives
6 small garlic cloves, crushed with a garlic press
2 tablespoons grated tangerine zest
1/2 cup fresh tangerine juice
4 thin lemon slices, cut in half and seeded
3 to 4 tablespoons sherry vinegar, preferably aged
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 small bay leaves
1/2 small dried chile, such as arbol, crumbled, or more to taste
1 medium-size pinch of ground cumin

Place the olives, garlic, tangerine zest and juice, lemon, vinegar, olive oil, bay leaves, chile, and cumin in a large glass jar or bowl and stir to mix well. Cover the jar and let the olives marinate overnight at room temperature, tossing occasionally. For a richer flavor, let the olives marinate for up to a week in the refrigerator. Makes about 2 cups

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Steak Diane by: Alexandra Guarnaschelli, Exec. Chef Butter Restaurant

Serves 4 

1 tbsp. Canola Oil
4 beef tenderloins, 8 ounces each
Sea Salt and Freshly Ground Black Pepper
1 tbsp. butter
½ cup minced shallots
1 tbsp. Green peppercorns, preferably in brine, lightly crushed
¼ cup Brandy
1 tbsp. smooth Dijon Mustard
1 tsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce
½ cup veal stock
2 tbsp. chopped parsley
2 tbsp. chopped chives

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Heat the oil (until it smokes lightly) in a skillet large enough to hold the four pieces of beef. Season the steaks on both sides with salt and pepper. Place the steaks in the pan and brown on the first side, 2-5 minutes.
3. Turn the steaks on the second side and brown, 3-5 minutes.
4. Place the steaks on an ovenproof tray and place in the center of the oven to finish cooking while you make your sauce.
5. Remove the excess grease from the pan where you cooked the steaks. Add the butter and the shallots and cook until they are translucent, 3-5 minutes. Add the green peppercorns and brandy and cook until the liquid reduces almost completely.
6. Add the mustard, lemon juice and Worcestershire Sauce. Swirl the pan so all of the flavors start to meld together.
7. Add the veal stock and reduce until desirable consistency. Remove the steaks from the oven and place them in the pan with the sauce. Baste the meat with the sauce and allow them to "rest" in the pan 5-10 minutes. Heat them again gently. Add the parsley and chives. Season again with salt and pepper. Serve immediately.

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