On December 14, 2017 The Woman's Connection(R) (TWC) was honored as one of Manhattan Neighborhood Networks programs. TWC has been part of MNN for the past 24 years empowering women world wide. It has been a pleasure meeting women across the globe doing some remarkable things.
July 17th, 2013 women get your game on for next year and check out www.lorealwomenindigital.com to see how you could win. Great prize of money and more important is the mentorship program that identifies and provides opportunities to technology companies that are run by women and have the potential to shake-up the beauty industry.
The winners announced at the Ceremony Featured Guest Host Olivia Munn, Star of HBO's ‘The Newsroom’ and Self Proclaimed ‘Hollywood Geek’ what a riot. So down to earth and quite witty with her ad lib’s rocking the place. The three standout female-founded and led digital companies, selected from a group of more than 1,600 nominations were: http://youtu.be/c6-et8jDm4Y
JOYUS, Sukhinder Singh Cassidy, Founder and CEO- JOYUS is the world's first premium online video shopping experience for the modern woman.
Poptip, Kelsey Falter, Founder and CEO- Poptip is a software platform that enables crowd participation.
The Poptip platform has two products: Poptip Questions, which offers the ability to ask questions and surveys over social media, and Poptip
72Lux, Heather Marie, Founder and CEO - 72Lux is a software company with patent-pending technology
that enables digital publishers to sell the products they feature in their editorial.
I left the event with my very heavy gift bag of L’Oreal hair products. I was so proud of all these women and what they have and will accomplish. Can’t wait to see what is in store for next year.
June 4, 2013 As part of an ongoing “Women in Leadership” series honoring noteworthy Canadian women: Dr. Karyn, an educator, speaker, and media personality, was acknowledged for her wide-ranging work with families and professionals. We mingled in the lovely Park Avenue residence formerly home to Ken Taylor, who was instrumental in the covert “Canadian Caper” operation depicted in the Oscar winning film Argo.
In his introduction, John F. Prato spoke of Dr. Karyn’s work in New York City as being representative of the healthy relationship and strong bond between Canada and the United States, calling her “an incredible part of the Canadian fabric.” Dr. Karyn has taken her deep understanding and used it to build a larger platform to facilitate dialogue regarding parenting and relationships, Consul General Prato noted. Dr. Karyn Gordon: One of North America’s leading relationship and parenting experts, a best-selling author, media personality, motivational speaker, and founder of dk Leadership, Dr. Karyn’s mission is to inspire people to dream their best life and learn the tools and do it!
May 8th, 2013 attended “Women Entrepreneurs Rock the World” conference hosted by Angela Jia Kim founder of Savor the Success www.savorthesuccess.com. What an event with take away tips to make you think and grow your business. Simon Sinek-The Power of Why and author of “Start with Why” Stop managing and start leading: was one of many potent remarks he made: Now to get the book. Amanda Steinberg: rejection/disappointment.....what she does is gives herself two hours of intense rejection time to cry scream whatever then moves on. Make sure you are serving a market that can afford you. One important topic was how do you pay yourself from this business? Start with a separate business i.e. a checking account that you simulate a monthly draw. You have to look at money as a game and it is all a numbers game. Most importantly have to address stories we say about money and our feelings.
April 26, 2013 “spark ignite your network” organized by National Association of Professional Women (NAPW). And what a network event it was. We were seated at round tables for 8 making it quite easy to connect with the other people at the table in the ballroom at the Sheraton New York Times Square Hotel, which was filled to capacity. Arriving at the event we were given a wonderful bag filled with goodies of empowering items from some of the women owned businesses. NAPW mission is to provide the most advanced forum for members to connect with like-minded professional women. And it did not let you down.
Starr Jones was the moderator and host with the moistest. She reviewed her life history starting out as an attorney and then becoming a co-host on “The View” which catapult her to be a national household word. She is a very personable woman who came up to me after I took her picture and introduced herself to me: “Hi, I’m Star Jones” and I shook her hand and told her my name. It was quick and gracious. Well I was also in the press room.
The ballroom erupted when she walked to the podium. Starr revealed her seven tools to Success:
1. Investigate: what do you want to achieve, what need to get there
2. Initiate: how to plan to change, get it started
3. Insight; self-evaluation, review how failed in past
5. Intention; focus on results want to have
6. Inspiration: what brings you joy
7. Innovation: take a risk and bust out of the old
Star additionally mentioned to be prepared, focus on future with reinvention and what is the one thing that is self-sabotaging you from advancing.
Arianna Huffington, was just a gracious in introducing herself. It was fascinating to hear about her background and how she started the Huffington Post. One of the key things she believes in is “napping” just like Winston Churchill. It recharges one’s mind and body. What we want to do is change the sold so operate from “abundance”.
Then after a lovely lunch Martha Stewart joined Star. She briefly talked about her time in jail and how that affected her. Now she is out scouting the country for those who do it themselves in crafts. She found this to be empowering for women as well. Now with so much behind her she is looking for a man and will be going on-line to Match.com to put up her bio and see what happens. Wish her lots of luck.
Panel of women included: Lesley Jane Seymour who said “special hell for women who don’t help other women”. We are all in it together sharing mistakes she’s made in the past. How she was sabotaged by a best friend in HR. When she receives something in email/mail/phone message that requires a response from her she evaluates as to the importance of doing it right now.
Desiree Rogers who used to be in the White House said: FEAR don’t allow people to tell you who you are. You truly fail when you give up on self.
Kim Garst whose approach is to collaborate in getting you and your brand recognized especially in social media.
Monique L. Nelson shared how she wound up being a global marketing executive and winning awards.
It was a very informative time and they had women coming from all over the country with a variety of businesses. Some of them were quite unique.
Me and my moment! Star Jones Desiree Rogers, Airiana Huffington
March 18th, 2010 Kotex is starting a new campaign to help young women think and talk different about their bodies know as "U by KOTEX". For every woman who joins the campaign www.ubykotex.com Kotex will make a $1.00 donation to Girls for A Change.
November 25th, 2009 I learned of one of my former guests passed away: Rusty Kanokogi. I first meet Rusty in 1996 and she became a guest in 1997. As a seventh-degree black belt she is responsible for getting women's Judo in the Olympics. On the show she demonstrated a couple of moves...and you can be sure I did not participate. We will miss Rusty as I felt fortunate to have meet her and stayed in contact all these years. A great lady who leaves us a great legacy!
On November 13th, 2009 I attended the 6th annual "Stevie Awards for Women in Business" at the New York Marriott Marquis. "Stevies" in Greek stand for crowned, which is produced by a man: Michael P. Gallagher, President. The gala was co-hosted by FOX News anchor, Cheryl Casone along with Co-Star of The Apprentice and former Executive VP of The Trump Organization, Carolyn Kepcher; quite exciting to hear them close up. While this years awards were broadcast live over radio there were no camera's buzzing overhead. Over 300 women from around the world attended and from a pool of over 1100 entrants in 54 categories. If you are interested in entering the contest sign up here Stevie Awards or seeing who the winners are.
Winner: Women Helping Women Award
London, United Kingdom
Career Woman, Inc.
Chief Diva Extraordinaire
Success in the City
Guest blog by Norma Vally
1. DON’T wear loose clothing while performing home improvement tasks. Loose-fitting garments can get caught in power tools, especially saws—a potentially life threatening situation.
2. DO know where the main shut-off valves for all your utilities are located. Women need to know how to turn off the main power sources for the gas, water and electricity in their homes. This is critical in an emergency.
3. DON’T be stymied by a lack of upper body strength. For example, women can gain leverage by extending the length of a wrench—thus requiring less brute strength—by adding a long piece of metal pipe over the wrench’s handle. “Back in Brooklyn, we call that pipe a ‘persuader,’” Norma says.
4. DO mark your project materials before cutting them. The old adage goes, “Measure twice, cut once.” Norma takes it a step further, “Whenever possible, mark instead of measure is even better.”
5. DON’T buy cheap tools. Investing in good tools upfront will save you money in the long run since they won’t need to be replaced. They’ll also save you a lot of aggravation— and not being aggravated is priceless!
6. DO know which direction to turn screws and other fittings. The general rule is, “Right tight, left loose.”
7. DON’T be embarrassed to ask for help from the staff in home improvement centers and hardware stores. They are often retired trades people and can offer a wealth of information.
8. DO organize your work space and keep it clutter-free. Clean up as you work to keep the area safe and free of potential hazards, especially anything that you can trip over.
9. DON’T forget to bring along any old parts that you may be replacing when you go to the hardware store. Norma says, “It’s much easier for you and the sales staff to find replacement parts when you bring in an example of what you’re looking for.” If you can’t bring it with you, try to find a serial or ID number from the original part.
10. DO unplug your power tools when you’re adjusting a part or changing a blade. “Just turning the tool off isn’t enough,” cautions Norma. “Accidents can and do happen, so be sure to always unplug your tools.”
Guest blog by Marion E. Gold
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them." Louisa May Alcott
When Louisa May Alcott said these words, she likely had no idea that women one day would not only look beyond the sunshine, but travel beyond the stars to brave new frontiers in outer space.
In 1961 aeronautics history began a new era when 13 women reported to the Lovelace Clinic in Southeast Albuquerque, New Mexico. They were carefully selected to be the FLATS, the First Lady Astronaut Trainees - candidates for a mission to be known as Mercury 13. Their names are: Myrtle "K" Thompson Cagle, Jerrie Cobb, Jan Dietrich and her identical twin Marion Dietrich, Mary Wallace "Wally" Funk II, Jane Hart, Jean Hixson , Gene Nora Stumbough Jessen, Irene Leverton, Sarah Lee Gorelick Ratley, Bernice "B" Steadman, Geraldine "Gerri" Sloan Truhill, And Rhea Hurrle Allison Woltman.
The program was so secret, according to an article by Funk, that not all the Mercury 13 candidates knew each other during their years of training and evaluation. It was not until 1994 when ten of the Mercury 13 met for the first time.
Funk is a member of the "Ninety-Nines, Inc.," an international organization that was founded in 1929 by 99 licensed women pilots for the mutual support and advancement of aviation. In 1931, Amelia Earhart was elected as the first president and the group was officially named for its 99 charter members. Today, the 99s boasts more than six thousand members, all licensed women pilots, from 35 countries. Its International Headquarters is located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
In documenting the history of the Mercury 13, Funk said that despite their outstanding test results - all passed the same tests as the Mercury 7 men-- these exceptional women never got a chance to fly into space. But their hard work paved the way 22 years later, in 1983, when Sally Ride became the first American woman to fly in space. (http://www.ninety-nines.org/mercury.html)
Ride was not the first woman in space, however. That bold step was taken in 1963 by Valentina Tereshkova of the Soviet Union - the first woman to orbit the earth. Ride's journey to the stars was followed in July 1984, when another Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya made history as the first female spacewalker.
Ride, Tereshkova and Savitskaya have been joined by many more daring women who are committed to trailblazing their way into history - space history.
Today, if you visit the "Women of NASA" website, there are biographies of dozens of women throughout the program: Administrators and Managers; engineers, technologists, and astrobiologists; astronauts who are mission specialists, pilots and commanders; astronomers and astrophysicists, biologists, chemists, computer scientists, system specialists and programmers; aeronautics, aerospace, biological, chemical and biomedical engineers; educators who reach out to the public; computer and design engineers; environmental specialists and geologists; pharmacologists and psychologistsŠ. The list goes on and on. (http://quest.arc.nasa.gov/women/WON.html)
This month - women's history month - we honor them. This month, and every month, we especially pay tribute to the four brave women who gave their lives in the daring quest for knowledge. Four trailblazing women who reached far beyond Louisa May Alcott's sunshine and into the heavens:
KALPANA CHAWLA emigrated to the United States from India in 1980s and became an astronaut in 1994. In a 1998 interview with the newspaper "India Today," Chawla said: "When you look at the stars and the galaxy, you feel that you are not just from any particular piece of land, but from the solar system." Chawla was killed on February 1 when the space shuttle Columbia STS-107 tragically disintegrated just sixteen minutes before its scheduled landing in Florida. DR. LAUREL CLARK was a diving medical officer aboard submarines and then a flight surgeon before she reported to the Johnson Space Center in August 1996. After completing two years of training and evaluation, she was qualified for flight assignment as a mission specialist. She also died in the Columbia tragedy. DR. JUDITH ARLENE RESNIK was selected as a NASA astronaut in January 1978. She became the second American woman in orbit during the maiden flight of Discovery, STS-41-D, between August 30 and September 5, 1984. During this mission she helped to deploy three satellites into orbit; she was also involved in biomedical research during the mission. Resnik was a mission specialist on the Challenger (STS-51- L) which exploded just after launch from the Kennedy Space Center, Florida on January 28, 1986. SHARON CHRISTA MCAULIFFE was the first teacher to fly in space. Selected from among more than 11,000 applicants from the education profession for entrance into the astronaut ranks to be trained as a payload specialist. McAuliffe also died on January 28, 1986 when the Challenger exploded.
Their legacies live on in the hearts of all women who reach beyond the stars to follow their dreams.
Timeline of Women in Aeronautics
1910 Bessie Raiche - First woman to fly solo. She flew in an airplane her husband built of bamboo, wire and silk.
1911 Harriet Quimby - First U.S. woman to receive a pilot's license. In 1912, she also became the first woman to fly solo across the English Channel.
1913 Ruth Law Bancroft- First woman to fly at night.
1914 Katherine Stinson- First woman to fly a loop (Cicero Field, Chicago, IL). In 1917, she
set flight endurance record of 9 hours and 10 minutes.
1918 Anna Low- First Chinese-American, female aviator who flew in the San Francisco, CA region.
1921 Bessie Coleman- First African-American female aviator to qualify for an international pilot's license from the Federation Aeronautique Internationale.
1924 Ruth Nichols- First woman to earn an international hydroplane license.
1929 Ninety-Nines was founded by women pilots - female aviators club with Amelia Earhart as president. The name comes from the fact that out of 126 female licensed pilots, 99 of them joined.
1929 Elinor Smith-Sets solo flight endurance record of 13 hours and 16 minutes.
1929 Bobbi Trout-First woman to fly all night.
1930 Florence Klingensmith - First woman to set loop record for 143 consecutive loops.
1931 Anne Morrow Lindbergh- First woman to earn a glider pilot's license.
1932 Olive Beech- Helps to found, with her husband, Beech Aircraft Corporation. Also in
1932, Kathryn Cheung- First Chinese-American female to earn a U.S. pilot's license;
Amelia Earhart- First woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean (in just under 15 hours); and Ruth Nichols- First woman hired as a pilot for commercial passenger flights, on New York Airways.
1936 Louise Thaden, pilot and Blanche Noyes, co-pilot- First women to win the Bendix Transcontinental Air Race from Los Angeles, CA to New York City, New York.
1937 Willa Brown- First African-American woman to earn a commercial pilot's license.
1938 Hanna Reitsch German WWII test pilot who was the first woman to pilot a helicopter.
1943 Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) -The government program in which female pilots were used to train the male pilots for combat duty. The U.S. female pilots also ferried airplanes across the Atlantic Ocean for use in combat.
1944 Ann Baumgartner- First U.S. woman to fly an experimental jet airplane. She reached speeds of 350 mph and altitudes up to 35,000 feet.
1947 Ann Shaw Carter- First U.S. woman licensed to fly a helicopter.
1953 Jacqueline Cochran- First woman to break the sound barrier.
1955 Whirley Girls-Female helicopter pilots start their own association.
1960 Jerrie Cobb - First woman to undergo the testing developed for the selection of the Mercury Astronauts.
1961 Jacqueline Cochran- First woman to fly the highest to an altitude of 55,253 feet; that same year, Cochran also Established a new altitude record for the T-38 aircraft by flying 56,071 feet.
1963 Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova was the First Woman in Space.
1964 Jerrie Mock- First woman to fly solo around the world. She made the flight in 29 1/2 days flying 22,860 miles.
1973 Emily Howell-As second officer for Frontier Airlines, she became the first woman to fly Boeing 737 jets for a regularly scheduled airline; Bonnie Tiburzi-First female jet pilot hired by a major airline, American Airlines.
1984 Betsy Carroll-First woman to fly a jumbo jet across the Atlantic Ocean for a commercial airline (People Express).
1984 (July) Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya - First female spacewalker.
1984 (October) Kathryn Sullivan -First American Female Spacewalker.
1986 Jeana Yeager (and Dick Rutan)-First pilots to fly around the world non-stop and non-refueled. They accomplished this in a specially designed aircraft called the Voyager.
1990 British Chemist Helen Sharman flew to Mir Space Station for a week long stay after answering a newspaper advertisement. " Astronaut wanted - no experience necessary".
1990 Jean K. Tinsley-First female to fly a tilt rotor aircraft.
1992 Mae Jemison-First African American woman in space.
1995 Eileen M. Collins-First female to pilot U.S. space shuttle;
1996 Shannon Lucid returns from six months aboard Mir, setting a space endurance record for women and a U.S. space endurance record.
1997 Kalpana Chawla -First Indian woman in outer space.
1999 Eileen Collins made history once again as the First Woman to fly as a Space Shuttle Commander.
Doris Brell a hellicopter pilot Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog
Guest blog by Barbara M. Morris, R.Ph
The American way of aging, steeped in stultifying tradition and flawed conventional wisdom of a bygone era, is slowly changing.
But for now, tradition and custom still dominate. You know the routine: Around age 50 an accelerating number of sound bites, events and messages caution or imply, "The end is near." Everything from invitations to join AARP to dire warnings about inescapable problems and pitfalls of aging are relentless reminders life is winding down.
You are deemed lazy or irresponsible if you have not prepared to acquire that contagious, debilitating disease called retirement - a political absurdity of the Depression Era that short-circuits the life and potential of many capable people and, burdens society in too many ways to count.
Bombarded by countless predictions of impending disability and death, you start looking for signs of your own decline. A momentary memory lapse, which everyone experiences, regardless of age, results in a panicky "I'm having a senior moment." I have never heard a teenager experiencing a memory lapse (and they have plenty of them) berate him or herself with "I'm having a junior moment."
You drop something and immediately declare, "I must be getting old." Young people drop things all the time and don't imagine they are getting old. They just bend over and pick it up. Youth doesn't sweat the small stuff - why should you?
The advent of age 60 can really accelerate the "old age" wrecking ball. Tradition says it's time to leave the real world. It's time to travel and play golf the rest of your life.
Social and family pressure convinces you the home you've lived in all your life is now "too much" for you. Therefore, you move to a retirement community where you not only enjoy the comfort and camaraderie of peers, but you are also vulnerable to the reality of the Grim Reaper who manifests himself in an abnormal concentration of sickness, depression, and death.
You adopt attitudes and behaviors that instruct your subconscious to help you let go of life. You kid yourself that you are just taking time to smell the roses but before you know it, the roses are on your coffin and you are pushing up daises.
Here's the good news: In spite of the pull of tradition and social expectations, people are beginning to opt out of the traditional aging process, refusing to slow down, fall into line, give up, and drop out. A 78 year-old friend and business owner is engaged to a successful younger executive and together they have a solid plan for future business and personal growth. A 92-year-old woman is flying across the country, participating in a Powder Puff Derby. A 78-year-old man is studying for a doctor's degree.
These people and countless others are maintaining and improving the quality of their lives and making a valuable contribution to society. Unfortunately, examples of inspiring mature lives are too often hidden. When brought to light, we exclaim in astonishment, "Isn't she wonderful for her age," or "Isn't it amazing what he is still doing?" When people learn I am still working as a pharmacist, they gasp, "You are still working full time at age 73?" Big deal! Chronological age is an accounting of time gone by, not a measure of physical or mental capacity.
Expression of amazement for age-related competence is patronizing. Ability should be valued for what it is, without reference to chronological age,. That point will be reached when more influential and outspoken mature role models come out of the "old age" closet and show, if not flaunt, what they and others are capable of accomplishing. They are needed to help establish an enlightened society in which healthy, productive aging is no longer newsworthy as something special. It will open doors of opportunity and possibilities now closed to valuable and talented people afflicted with nothing more incapacitating than advanced chronological age.
How about you: Are you living a life that rejects they tyranny of chronological age? Are you happily marching forward to the beat of your own personal drummer? Are you gloriously "out of sync" with convention-bound peers? Are you productively defying archaic wisdom that no longer makes sense? If so, the world needs to know about you.
In the past century, the American life span has increased 27 years. Boomers are the first generation ever to have the opportunity for a healthy, productive Second Life. They can choose the traditional aging route as their parents did, or forge an exciting, unprecedented transition from fantasy-driven "young forever boomer" to real life healthy, productive, ageless bloomer. It's a matter of choice, not chance. It's just that simple.
Guest blog by Dara Stieger, Registered Dietitian, MS, RD, LDN
Most Americans can pack on five to eight pounds every year between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, enjoying big family dinners and other seasonal festivities.
Sugary baked goods, butter-laden side dishes, sugar-loaded cakes and breads, and fatty main courses can make it hard to maintain your waistline, or lose weight, during the holidays.
But in fact, it can be downright easy to maintain your weight and the holiday spirit with some creativity and advance planning.
Avoid Mall Munchies
Step one: stay away from high-fat, high-calorie snacks when shopping at the mall or supermarket. Plan your shopping after mealtime, so you won't be hungry when you shop. And try to have three balanced, home-cooked meals a day, which will help you fend off snacking and overeating.
If the mall's food court is your only option for a meal on a busy day, choose healthier items such as a "create your own" salad with low-fat dressing (or olive oil and vinegar), or a slice of pizza topped with fresh vegetables.
And here's a neat exercise tip to use while you're mall hopping: Park as far from the mall entrances as you can, or enter the malls at the opposite end of your destinations. Depending on how much extra walking you can engineer into your travels, you can burn any extra 100 to 500 calories.
Be a Party Planner
The holidays are loaded with great get-togethers; sometimes several in a week. To maintain or even trim your waistline at cocktail parties, eat something healthy, yet filling before heading to the parties. This will help you cut down on or even avoid fattening party foods and snacks.
And if you're hosting your own bash, wait until the day of or day before the party to buy your groceries, even if that means missing a sale. Keeping sweets, cakes, breads, drinks, snacks, and other party foods out of the house will also keep them out of your tummy.
Also, plan your schedule so there's little as time as possible between party preparation and the arrival of guests. This will help you avoid snacking on your tempting and delicious party creations.
Remember, being the host means that you can create healthier versions of all of your favorite recipes which you, your guests and your family can enjoy without any guilt.
Skin the Bird
One holiday dinner can have over 3,000 calories-more than people should consume in a single day. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the meal. Instead of ham, roast beef, or other dark meat, reach for white meat turkey. Then peel off the skin, which harbors about 4 grams of fat, and you've shaved about 35 calories off that delicious helping.
Likewise, pass on too many starchy side dishes. Favor roasted vegetables and salads instead (especially salads without dressing already mixed in). You can also opt for low-sodium butter, low-fat dairy products, and egg whites to cut calories without cutting flavor.
The Skinny on Drinks and Desserts
Alcohol is very high in calories. Cutting back on alcoholic beverages will cut your total caloric intake. Wine or light beer may be a better choice than mixed drinks which are often high in sugar and calories. And remember, if you choose to consume alcohol, do so in moderation.
When baking sweets, use a substitute for sugar, use light butter instead of regular butter when possible, and use apple sauce instead of oil (yes, you read that right!). Top your desserts with a dollop of light whipped cream. And be sure to serve a big bowl of high fiber fruits, such as grapes, pineapples, honeydews, and strawberries.
Lastly, don't let watching what you eat get in the way of your good time. Remember that healthy options are nearly always available on the table. You just need to be alert and inventive. Make this the year that you make the best choices, and have the best, slimmest holiday season ever.
Guest blog by Mari Lyn Henry
Author of How to Be a Working Actor, 5th Edition: The Insider's Guide to Finding Jobs in Theater, Film & Television
All of us have specific colors--whether they are dramatic, understated, or neutral--that look better on us than other others. Wearing the right colors next to your skin can have a rejuvenating, uplifting, and healthier impact on your overall appearance. You will know the colors are wrong if you suddenly look older, sallow, or blotchy, or your cheeks seem drained of color.
If you have pale skin and dark hair, the jewel tone colors (sapphire blue, emerald green, ruby red, dark amethyst) and the icy pastels (orchid, lemon, pink, pale blue) will bring out your natural blush. Skin tone with a beige, pink, or ivory undertone wears more muted rosy colors extremely well. Yellow or peachy undertones suggest deeper pigmentation, and the ability to wear bright colors or richer and deeper golden-based hues. Some skin tones are so balanced that they can wear both cool-based and warmer colors. Remember, there are no absolutes. Wearing what makes you feel good when you put it on should be the general rule. But bear in mind that you must wear the color; the color must never wear you.
The color you choose to wear to an interview can have a psychological impact on the interviewer. So choose carefully to avoid sending the wrong vibration. For example, red is associated with passion, ambition, desire, assertiveness, and self-sacrifice. It is the ³I am² color. If you are meeting someone for the first time, be careful about the red you select. Avoid reds with too much yellow; they can overwhelm you. Reds with more blue in them such as the wine colors (burgundy, maroon, merlot) or berry reds (cranberry, raspberry, currant) or brown reds (terra-cotta and brick) will be less intimidating. Red is also effective as an accent color in a scarf or pocket square.
Green has a cooler energy and, like the color of the forest, is calming, non-threatening, balanced, and restful to the eye. The deeper shades of green (fir, cucumber, and hunter) are terrific to wear to the interview and on camera as well.
Blue is the color of trust, loyalty, wisdom, and inspiration. Corporate executives in navy blue suits inspire confidence. It you want to appear credible and confident, wear blue.
Yellow is so bright and dynamic that it can cause anxiety and hyperactivity. It is more effective in a print design. Large doses should be avoided, unless you have a tan to balance the color. Orange may be the color of geniuses, extroverts, good negotiators, and safety on the construction site, but it cannot be worn by everyone.
Purple is the color associated with artists, writers, and spirituality. Michelangelo kept purple stained glass in his studio when he sculpted his masterpieces. Wagner wore purple robes to compose. Studies have shown that meditating on purple can reduce mental stress. So when you choose a royal purple to wear at the interview, you will be relaxing the pressure felt by the interviewer and, in turn, feeling connected to your creative center.
White is reflective and can upstage your face. Gray represents passivity and non-commitment. Black, technically, is the combination of all the colors, and not a color at all. It is distancing, lacks vibration, absorbs color and light, and can drain it from your face. Both gray and black keep your energy contained and rob you of vitality.
Neutrals like black, gray, brown and deep navy can always be enlivened by accessorizing with colorful scarves near your face or a string of multi-colored beads. Even a black-and-white ensemble can be enhanced with red or hot pink.
Color triggers memory more readily than your name. Actors who audition before a casting director, director or producer will observe them taking notes. After auditions, clients will frequently say, "You know I really liked the girl in the purple jacket," or Remember that guy with the red vest?"
WHAT THE COLORS YOU WEAR REVEAL ABOUT YOU
Red: Ambitious, energetic, courageous, extroverted
Pink: Affectionate, loving, compassionate, sympathetic
Maroon: Sensuous, emotional, gregarious, overly sensitive
Orange: Competent, action-oriented, organized, impatient
Peach: Gentle, charitable, dexterous, enthusiastic
Yellow: Communicative, expressive, social, people-oriented
Green: Benevolent, humanistic, service-oriented, scientific
Light Blue: Creative, perceptive, imaginative, analytical
Dark Blue: Intelligent, executive, responsible, self-reliant
Mauve: Delicate, reserved, sensitive, encouraging
Purple: Intuitive, regal, spiritual, artistic
Brown: Honest, down-to-earth, supportive, structured
Black: Disciplined, strong-willed, independent, opinionated
White: Individualistic, egocentric, lonely, low self-esteem
Gray: Passive, non-committal, stressed, overburdened
Silver: Honorable, chivalrous, trustworthy, romantic
Gold: Idealistic, noble, successful, having high values
WHEN YOU ARE FEELING "BLUE" WEAR....
Red gives you an energy boost.
Pink relaxes mental tension
Maroon protects you from intrusive people.
Orange combats confusion.
Peach protects you from energy loss.
Yellow balances depression.
Green helps you deal with emotional stress.
Blue-green restores faith.
Dark blue protects against failure.
Mauve helps you stop worrying.
Purple reduces outside pressure.
Enjoy the power in your colorful palette.
Guest blog by Arianna Huffington
Author of On Becoming Fearless.... in Love, Work, and Life
With so much internal and external pressure to be beautiful, it's no wonder women go to such absurd lengths to achieve the goal of perfection. Fear that we will not measure up leads to stifling conformity as we try to squeeze ourselves into the mold.
Conformity is not the only cost of our obsession with our bodies, however. There are psychological and financial price tags as well, not to mention the toll on our physical health.
More than half of American women have gone on a diet at some point in their lives. That's probably because the three-quarters of women who are of normal weight consider themselves heavy. And then there's the financial cost: We spend some $33 billion a year (yes, billion) on diet books, diet foods, diet programs, and diet accessories.
Worse, disturbing numbers of women -- vastly more than ever -- are basically starving themselves. National Institute of Mental Health statistics show that over 3 percent of women suffer from bulimia and over 4 percent from anorexia. This trend takes the fear of fat to a fatal extreme.
If we can't starve our way to beauty, many of us turn to costly medical interventions. In 2005 alone, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, more than 10 million cosmetic surgery procedures -- including liposuction, "nose jobs," breast implants, eyelid surgery, and "tummy tucks" -- were performed in this country. That's more than a 10 percent increase from the previous year. And those numbers don't even include the close to 9 million relatively minor procedures, such as face-freezing Botox injections.
An especially ugly truth is that women are going under the knife at a younger and younger age. Thousands of teenagers are getting breast implants, even taking out loans if they can't afford them. According to a Texas A&M study reported by Richard Conniff in The Natural History of the Rich: "It is customary for upper-class parents in the Dallas-Fort Worth area to give their daughters breast implant surgery as a high school graduation gift. It is explicitly recognized by both parents and daughters that the young women will get more dates and be more popular in college if they have larger breasts. As one student put it: 'Among the wealthier families, the boys get hot cars for graduation, and the girls get big breasts.'"
And if changing our bodies isn't enough, we're resorting in larger and larger numbers to changing our brains, with mood-altering drugs. A 2004 Centers for Disease Control study found that one in ten women take antidepressants such as Prozac. The National Sleep Foundation (yes, there is one) found that 63 percent of women experience symptoms of insomnia several nights a week. And one health care company reported that in 2004, 58 percent more women than men took prescription drugs to sleep. Sure, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to take these medications, but can anyone doubt that part of the reason for their popularity is that women need a way to shut down and get some respite from our constant fears and anxieties?
On Becoming Fearless About How We Look
The first step to becoming fearless about our physical appearance is knowing that our fears of inadequacy are manufactured and mass-marketed. The fear-generating messages of perfection we measure ourselves against come not from Moses on the mountaintop but from the multibillion-dollar cosmetics and fashion industries whose profits are directly tied to our levels of insecurity.
As Jean Kilbourne writes in Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel, the reason so much is spent on market research and advertising is because it works. Marketers know that if they team up with the multibillion-dollar entertainment industry, they can not only sell us fantasies but also then sell us the products we think will help us realize them.
That's only half the story, however. We are, after all, the ones perpetuating the game of comparisons. The urge to compare, to see how we're doing relative to others, is a part of the human condition. But we can enlarge our perspective to dilute the power of our narrow, self-destructive comparisons. I know this is hard, but if we can't completely stop playing the comparison game, we can at least start changing whom we compare ourselves to. Instead of comparing ourselves to Angelina Jolie, how about comparing ourselves to a victim of Hurricane Katrina, a woman who lost her legs fighting in Iraq, or a woman diagnosed with breast cancer? They're out there, too. When we do this, we are sure to tap into our reserves of empathy and gratitude instead of our endless self-judgments, fears, and jealousies.
It was only when I began observing the critical voices inside me rather than giving in to them that I could start to take control over them. Instead of being drained by the negative self-talk, I found myself amused by it the way you are by a naughty child. We have a choice about what to do with the messages we hear. We may not be able to tune them out entirely, but we don't have to let them run the show.
For example, if the voice is saying something specific, such as "I want to slim down," "I need more exercise," or "It might be fun to get highlights," then fine, go ahead and do it. But if the voice is just mindlessly nit-picking and running us down, we have a responsibility to lower the volume. If we let these voices deplete our energies, they will. Since the comparison game is a game that no one can win, why play in the first place?
Putting our energies into a creative project can help put an end to our obsessions with ourselves. Actress Rosanna Arquette confessed to "stressing" about having a "chicken neck" as she approached forty. But the obsession to look perfect -- all the more intense in her profession -- no longer consumed her after she reached out to others and produced a film called Searching for Debra Winger, about balancing motherhood and art. "It set me on my path to stay positive," she told me, "to connect with other women, my tribe. We have to cut out competition, because we are all on the same path of fearlessness, to be truly who we are, and this is our birthright! It's time we support and love each other in what we want to do in life so we can look at each other and know we are safe. Let's celebrate each other's individuality, blessings -- and cellulite." Copyright © 2007
Guest blog by Donna Labermeier
Author of The Healers
After years in the business world, I decided to try my hand at “stay-at-home” mom. I soon realized that it was the hardest job on the planet! With a few years at this under my belt, a four year old on one hip, a two year old on the other, an ailing mother with dementia, an elderly father living on his own, and a husband working more hours than not trying to keep his business going and pay the bills, I had lost myself somewhere down the line. I no longer had an identity. Who was I? Did I have a purpose outside of caregiver? I felt completely drained , used up, a shell of a human being…I had given my power away.
My mother died later that year, and my depression became deeper. I felt terribly disappointed and angry at the way she left me. I was never alone, it seemed, but I felt utterly lonely.
My mental anguish had begun to manifest itself physically. Like clockwork, every month, I would acquire an unbearable strep-like sore throat. Knowing what I know now, I realize it was from not speaking my truth, not expressing my authentic self.
In the Spring of the following year, my sister asked me to go on a trip with her. She was sure I needed some time for myself. I, of course, was very reluctant to even entertain the thought with two small children at home. I had responsibilities, and how would my husband feel about the added duties? So after mulling it over for a time, I woke up one morning and made a command decision…I was taking my power back! This was my life, too! I was going to go on a trip with my sister! Everyone was just going to have to make due without me for a few days.
So my sister, Ginny, and I went to Canyon Ranch Health Resort in Tucson, Arizona. My sister had been there before and enjoyed it so much as a relaxing retreat that she was sure it would be good for me, too. There, I did some reflecting, but I was still very sad. I felt as if I was supposed to be doing something else in life. I was searching for a missing piece of myself. I didn’t know what it was or how to go about figuring it out. Then one day, I scheduled myself for a session called “Healing Touch.” For many years of my adult life I had been interested in the metaphysical and in spiritual development, but energy healing was a new concept to me. This process of healing another individual of emotional and physical blockages using only the healing energy inherent in each of our bodies and minds was positively fascinating to me.
When I came home from this adventure, I still couldn’t put my finger on exactly what my larger purpose in life was, but I began studying energy medicine.
After a few more months of feeling aimless and continuing to search for my path in life, I became terribly sick. I had come down with a respiratory illness and coughed incessantly for a month. Again, I now know this was a serious sign that I was shoving negative energy down into my body instead of releasing it through some form of personal expression and having some fun in my life.
I was prescribed stronger and stronger medication, but I continued to get worse. I was desperate to get well. One night, afraid that I might fall asleep and never wake up, I said to myself, “What if these medicines I’m relying on to heal me don’t work? There MUST be a way for me to heal myself.” And the instant those thoughts poured out of my mind, the premise for my book, The Healers, flooded in. The detail was amazing, especially considering my exhaustion and delirium at the time. So crisp and clear were my visions of the characters – children from various parts of the globe, each with their own healing abilities, using specific techniques, teaching other young people and adults, alike, to use energy healing in their own lives.
The next morning, the ideas were still so vivid in my mind that I began writing them down on paper. I had now found what I was searching for: a greater purpose in life, an identity, a creative outlet to express my true self, a way to spread a message of hope and love to humanity. In a world of infinite possibilities and infinite abundance, I had finally attracted what I was ready to have. That was two years ago, and I haven’t been sick or depressed since.
I sincerely hope that my readers will come away from this book with the realization that they have more power than they ever dreamed. The power of the Universe lies inherently within each and every one of us. We live on a vibrational planet, and all that exists is simply made of energy. We have the ability to shape our own realities through the focus of our thoughts, so if you hold your thoughts on the positive and the good, your life will be a mirror reflection of them. This Universe of ours is loving, caring, supportive, and abundant; and I passionately believe that every person on Earth has the inner strength to better his or her own life – to release all fear, worry, anxiety, distress, and dis-ease from their bodies and minds... It is a gift we ALL possess.
Guest blog by Anne Williams
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog
Imagine being able to hold a pendulum between your thumb and index finger, watch it swing clockwise, counter clockwise, or straight back and forth to give you a yes or no answer. Imagine being able to get information from a readily available but generally untapped source. The pendulum, a tool for investigating energy, is not widely included in scientific studies, yet it can definitely be used for self-diagnosis and research.
Radiesthesia, also known as dowsing, is an ancient practice, which today attracts both holistic practitioners and lay people alike. It is most renowned for detecting underground water, for which about 80% accuracy has been demonstrated. Use of dowsing instruments, including pendulums, has also proven effective in locating oil mineral deposits, missing persons and objects and, as suggested above, in obtaining health related information.
The Egyptians, Hebrews, Incas, Chinese, Greeks, Roman, Druids, and Polynesians used "divining" devices of various kinds. Chinese use of such devices dates back to 2200 B.C. as far back as 9000 B.C. in Peru, a rock carving depicting a man with a forked rod was found. Today, we are taking a new look at ancient occult wisdom. Organizations dedicated to dowsing are found today throughout Europe, Africa, Israel, the Middle East, and New Zealand. The American Society of Dowsers, founded in 1958, is headquartered in Danville, Vermont and holds yearly conventions attended by national as well as international participants.
Why Use a Pendulum?
A pendulum is a practical tool for investigating and dealing with health-related concerns, matters of the heart, and other personal issues. A special feature is that it is small enough to be carried in one's pocket or purse.
The pendulum can help you discover what food allergies or intolerances you have as well as which foods your body needs, which vitamins or mineral supplements are necessary, and how much and how often you should take them. The pendulum will let you know which colors stimulate or relax you, which profession is most suited to you, which exercises are best, and how strong your self-esteem and emotional balance are. There is no end to the type of questions you may ask and the more creative you become, the more information you will gain. Wouldn't you like to ask about a car you are thinking of buying? An investment you are considering? The value of a book you want to read? The interest level of a lecture or enjoyment of a musical event beforehand? The possibilities are limitless.
How Does the Pendulum work?
There are many theories about this. Perhaps the most popular is that all substances radiate electrical waves which, through practice, become especially concentrated in the body. Since these electrical field contains both positive and negative charges, our bodies function as supersensitive receiving sets, and the concentrated energy causes the pendulum to move.
Using Your Pendulum
The pendulum may be made of any number of materials, usually pointed at the end and suspended by a thread, string, or chain approximately 4 to 12 inches long. The pendulum itself may be of any comfortable size or may weight as little as one eighth of an ounce. It may be used with various charts as an indicator of information or it can be held directly over the body to locate weakness or disease.
You will need to train your pendulum to work for you. First hold it over your right leg just above the knee. Now ask the pendulum to move clockwise for an affirmative/yes sign; then hold it in the same manner over your left leg and ask it to move counterclockwise for a negative/no sign. For the left-handers these signs are sometimes reversed. When you have completed this step successfully, you are ready to hold the over foods and charts and ask it questions about yourself and others (this is where the table or guide is useful). When holding it over foods, remember that it will usually gyrate clockwise if the food is beneficial and counterclockwise if it is not.
It's best not to let anyone else use your pendulum. In time it will become accustomed to your own particular energy and should not be confused by anyone else's vibrations or electrical field. Competent use comes with practice, so be patient. Do not use the pendulum when you are tired, ill, or under the influence of alcohol or drugs as the reading may not be accurate.
While the pendulum is used for a variety of purposes, it is not infallible and should never replace common sense. It is merely a tool for evaluation. Understand that the pendulum is one way of tapping areas of the brain with which we are often out of touch. Make your questions as clear and explicit as possible. Word them carefully. If you wish to ask if it is raining now, for instance, indicate the local: the pendulum isn't a mind reader and may not know that you mean in your neighborhood. Similarly, state what period of time you want to know about (now, at 7 pm, tomorrow?). State who the dowsing is for. Always be specific, clear, and as objective as possible.
We all need to lovingly be our own special support system and to be in a mental and/or spiritual place uncluttered by negativity of any sort. A pendulum can be an important resource to incorporate into your daily life. All you need is a pendulum and the patience to practice a few minutes each day. The results can be very rewarding.
Guest blog by Judymay Murphy
Author of Your Life Only a Gazillion Times Better: A Practical Guide to Creating the Life of Your Dreams
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog
1. Notice how what you put in and what you get out are always linked. If you want to make a fish pie, you put in fish. If you want to make a cherry pie, you put in cherries. Take note of what you have been putting into your life and what kind of pie you've been getting as a result. What steps have you been taking toward having your ideal career, what have you been eating, how much exercise have you been taking, how much time have you been spending with those you love, how many meetings have you been having about new ways to make and invest money? Write up how you have been apportioning your time every day. Remember, excuses do not give you the life of your dreams, inspired, consistent action is what's required. So choose some better pie-fillings than TV shows, burgers and moan-y conversations, choose positive talk, walks and fresh fruits and veggies.
2. Go to the place you spend most of your time, (your office, garden, living room, car...) and notice what is best about that place. Find one way to enhance that aspect, creating even more light, fixing up the view, making it even more comfortable. Now notice what is not working or not feeling good about the space and decide what needs to been slightly changed or radically transformed, perhaps it needs to be re-organized, cleaned, de-cluttered, revamped, to have nature or technology brought in? How will your life be a Gazillion times better through your space being more beautiful, more efficient or more inspiring?
3. Take a minute to work out where your trigger areas are when it comes to slipping back on achieving your goals. Perhaps you are doing great with healthy eating until you pass the pizza restaurant on the way home from the movies, or you are taking action on setting up your company until things get busy in your current workplace, or doing great with saving money until you go into a clothing store, . Once you have identified these danger areas write up alternatives so that you can avoid them; driving home a different route from the cinema, dedicating three nights a week to your new business no matter what is going on at work, leaving cash and credit cards at home when you go to a mall.
4. What needs to be said that you have not yet communicated to someone? Is it telling a parent or sibling that you love them? Is it telling a co-worker that you are no longer willing to shoulder their workload for them? Is it telling yourself that you forgive yourself for something? Is it telling your boss that you are leaving to start your own company? Role-play it with someone and have them act out every possible reaction and notice how you cope with every response. Now say what you need to say in a way that supports everyone, most of all you.
5. Pay attention to how you appear to others as you move through the world. This is not about becoming focused on what others think about you, it is about being aware of the effect you have on people. Is your expression usually blank, hostile, giddy, depressed, edgy? What about your tone of voice? Is it timid, monotone, sarcastic? We are so used to ourselves that we can easily believe we are just neutral and this is never the case. How would you prefer to come across- light, dependable, humorous, responsible, playful, powerful, active?
6. Sit down and name the area of your life that isn't working as well as the others. For some this is relationships, for others it may be career, money, health, creativity, emotions, - you know what it is for you. Take a piece of paper and write an honest account of where you are in that area, taking care not to exaggerate or minimize. Now write up what you are prepared to do to make it an area of strength. Decide on one action you will take very day for one month to turn things around. This could be swimming for 20 minutes a day, saving five dollars a day by bringing lunch to work and putting it in a trading account at the end of each week, reading 4 pages a day of a helpful book, spending 30 minutes a day talking with one of your kids really getting to know them. You will be amazed at how you quickly start to love that area of your life, especially when you start to get great results way before the month is up.
7. Keep going when things seem to be going wrong. Many people stop taking action when they meet with resistance or disapproval from others, or when things don't go exactly to plan. If something doesn't work out the way you had hoped, assess what happened and what you have learned. Immediately take a new and different action to get you to your desired result. It's not a refusal just a delay, and it's the delays and the learning's that strengthen us for making the rest of the dream come true.
8. Keep going when things seem to be going right. The flip side to point 7 is that people will often slow down and stop following a triumph. When you achieve a goal it is important to take time to rest and celebrate and then its time to use the momentum and confidence gained with the last achievement and use it to get to the next level. If you get a promotion, great! Now start to focus on how you can feel even better by giving even more value to the company, how you can start your own investment project for the extra money you will be making, how you can help those around you to adjust to the new circumstances. If you loose weight, how can you ensure it stays off and that you get even more fit and healthy and help others to do so also?
9. Ask yourself every morning, what are five things I can do today, five small steps I can take to make my dreams come true? Have the questions posted up on the bathroom mirror, on your bedroom door, on the computer screen, wherever they will catch your eye. You can take note of the answers you come up with and tick them off the list as you achieve them throughout the day. That night, over dinner, you and your family can share your dream-maker triumphs.
10. Tap back into your real dream, that thing that you promised yourself as a child that you would do. Did you always want travel, adventure, to make a beautiful home, a certain kind of toy, a certain type of friend, a dog, a pony, peace and quiet, to learn more, to invent something, to perform? You know what it is. Take one action right now to launch it into being. Enjoy making your life a Gazillion Times Better.
Guest blog by Sue Shellenbarger
One of the toughest aspects of a midlife crisis for most women is the isolation they feel. Our culture affords no customary, established ways for midlife women to meet, share their experiences and find a sounding board for the dreams and questions that surface for many of us at midlife. Yet a critical difference between women who manage a midlife transition successfully and those who remain non-starters is often a supportive network of female friends who offer feedback and encouragement. If you read The Breaking Point to better understand your own restlessness or frustration, you may want to consider starting a Second Act Sisterhood (SAS). Here are some recommendations:
1. Gather a group of friends who are also in the middle of life, however you want to define it, and who have some goal or dream or desire they would like to pursue, no matter how distant or difficult it may seem. This might be either a new or existing group, such as a book or investment club that wishes to shift gears for a while. The meeting should be held in a place where everyone will feel at ease - perhaps at a restaurant or in a participant’s home.
2. Have each person discuss her dream along with the fears and obstacles that stand in her way. It may be helpful to assign each woman a defined period of time to speak and hear feedback, such as 15 to 30 minutes each.
3. After each woman has presented her goal or desire, the other women should each be allowed time to respond. Only positive feedback or support is permitted; disapproval, criticism, and sarcasm are not allowed. Even if someone's ambition seems far fetched, the members of the group should support the member’s wish for change and brainstorm for tactics and ideas that could make it happen.
4. Members should lend more than vocal support to each other if they can. For example, if one group member wants to pursue outdoor activities and adventure and another is a member of a ski club, this is an ideal opportunity for one member to help another realize her ambition.
5. Set a regular meeting time when members can reconvene and talk about progressing toward their dream, perhaps bi-weekly, monthly or quarterly, either indefinitely or for an agreed-upon period, to share and support each other’s midlife dreams, goals and renewal.
6. Every meeting should offer each woman an opportunity to present her experiences and steps forward. Every Second Act Sisterhood member should know that her voice is heard and that she is in good company as she continues on her pathway toward personal growth.
One of the women profiled in The Breaking Point said that hearing other women's stories of midlife crisis and resolution is like passing a recipe on to someone else. With your Second Act Sisterhood you're ensuring that one person's recipe for change and happiness can be shared, adapted, and applied by other women living through a similar transition.
Guest blog by Marilyn Ferguson
Author of Aquarius Now: Radical Common Sense and Reclaiming Our Personal Sovereignty
When we got organized as a country and we wrote a fairly radical constitution with a radical amount of individual freedom to Americans, it was assumed that the Americans who had that freedom would use it responsibly. —Bill Clinton
To get out of the bottle we need radical common sense. Radical common sense is common sense deliberately encouraged and applied. Radical common sense reflects the growing realization that individual good sense is not enough—that society itself must make sense or decline. Radical common sense is a spirit. It respects the past, it pays attention to the present, and therefore it can imagine a more workable future.
On the one hand, it looks as if modern civilization hasn’t the time, resources, or determination to make it through the neck of the bottle. We can’t get there from here. We can’t solve our deepest problems through such traditional strategies as competition, wishful thinking, struggle, or war. We can’t frighten people (including ourselves) into being good or smart or healthy. We find we can’t educate by rote or by bribery, we can’t win by cheating, we can’t buy peace at the expense of others, and, above all, we can’t fool Mother Nature.
On the other hand, maybe the answers lie in the problem—our thinking, especially our ideas that nature is to be mastered rather than understood. We have tried to run roughshod over certain powerful realities.
Radical common sense says let’s ally ourselves with nature. We have nothing to lose and a great deal to gain. As the old saying has it, “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.” We can apprentice at nature’s side, working with her secrets respectfully rather than trying to steal them. For example, scientists who observe natural systems report that nature is more cooperative (“Live and let live”) than competitive (“Kill or be killed”). “Competing” species, it turns out, often co-exist by food- and time-sharing; they feed at different hours on different parts of the same plant. Among moose and some other herd animals, the old or injured members offer themselves to predators, allowing younger and healthier members to escape.
Altruism appears to serve an evolutionary function in living creatures. In its inventiveness, nature—including human nature—may be on our side.
By documenting the health benefits of such traditional virtues as persistence, hard work, forgiveness, and generosity, scientific research is validating both common sense and idealism. People who have discovered a purpose feel better, like themselves more, age more subtly, and live longer.
Radical common sense derives its conviction from science and from the inspired examples of individuals.
Guest blog by Marion E. Gold
Author of Top Cops: Profiles of Women in Command
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog
I'm not a law enforcement officer, so readers may wonder why I chose policing as a book topic. Carrying the dubious title of “The Company Feminist,” I broke—more like crashed—through the glass ceiling and landed in a lush corner office, complete with a mahogany desk, seat on the executive board, and a variety of other perks. I hired women into professional jobs, mentored them, and was even advised that onc day some man might sue the company and me for reverse discrimination.
It was a good fight, but a lonely one. Like the few other women in other companies who had reached senior executive positions, I was wounded by the flying shards of glass. I grew weary of climbing the same hill every day, and contending with the overt, but more often subtle discrimination levied at me and not only from the men. Even some of the younger women wondered why I didn’t just become “one of the guys.” Why did I care if they used gender slurs during meetings? Why did I care if women had to be “perfect” while some of the men were mediocre? Sound familiar?
I finally walked away from that corner office—but not to hide in some other corner. I decided to talk about it, write about it, and work from the “outside” to make a difference for women and minorities in the workplace. What better way to make my point than by writing about women who blasted through one of the five remaining professions virtually dominated by male stereotypes? I believe with all my heart that all career doors must be open to women—a career in policing is one of their options. More than that, women who choose law enforcement as a career must know that they will be mentored by the women already on the force, will be free from harassment, and will have equal opportunity with men to advance into command positions. Top Cops: Profiles of Women in Command is this feminists way of shining a light on just a few of an elite group of women in policing whose persistence and dedication place them among the trailblazers in law enforcement. They are not only mentors for women in law enforcement — they are examples for all women of how skill, dedication, and a much-needed sense of humor can succeed in breaking through a male-dominated “blue wall” in order to achieve command positions. Who are the women who have attained command positions? They are tall, short, sturdy, and petite. They are blond, brunette, redheaded, and gray-haired. They are from varied ethnic and racial backgrounds. There is no physical stereotype. But they do share some characteristics. Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a psychoanalyst and a storyteller. She wrote a book titled “Women Who Run With The Wolves.” Estes says that as women have attempted to fit into society’s rigid roles, they have allowed themselves to become over- domesticated, fearful, uncreative, and trapped. She also says that within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Estes calls her a “Wild Woman.” I CALL HER A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER. In the interviews I conducted to write Top Cops, and in the many women officers I met and spoke to while writing the book, I saw those good instincts. I saw their passionate creativity and ageless knowing. Each of the women I spoke to showed an overwhelming sense of maintaining their identities—as strong, determined women who did not choose to succeed by being “one of the boys,” and who believe strongly in individual responsibility. They see the world as it is, not as they wish it were. But at the same time, each has a clear focus on how it should be, and a truly burning desire to make a difference — one step at a time — and to make policing better — for themselves, for society—and sfor the women who will follow in their footsteps.
They were not afraid to fail — and all were eager to try something new. ALL OF THE
WOMEN I INTERVIEWED ALSO MADE A POINT OF SAYING THEY MAINTAINED THEIR FEMININTY — that was very important to them. Whether it was keeping their hair long, their fingernails polished, or ho\v they carried themselves. They felt no need to “swagger like the men — as one put it; or “drink with the guys” or “cuss” — as another said.
All of the women in Top Cops dared to dream — at first about becoming an officer, and later about being in command. This type of spirit, this courage, is evident in every one of the women I interviewed. They did not \wake up one morning and decide to take a leading role in the fight for equal rights in the \workforce. That role was foisted upon them by an unenlightened society, and by an occupation still clearly identified with masculine stereotypes. But each and every one of these wonderful women — these wonderful law enforcement officers — accepted the challenge, and encourage others to do the same! Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes. In the words of Marian Wright Edelman: “If you don’t like the way the world is, you change it. You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time.”