Domestic Abuse and Women – Know the Signs and Get Help

Nearly one-third of all women in the U.S. will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives.  This epidemic causes physical, mental, and emotional harm, for both the women abused and the children who witness it. Understanding the signs, and being able to recognize them in your own relationship or others, is key to being able to get help.

What Is Domestic Abuse and What Leads to It?
Domestic abuse is any abusive behavior—not just physical violence—perpetrated by someone against an intimate partner or family member. Anyone in a household may be a victim, but women are most often affected. The abuse may be physical violence, sexual violence, emotional or psychological abuse, and even financial or economic abuse, using money to exert control over someone.

What causes someone to commit domestic abuse is not always understood, but the desire to control and have power over the victim is considered a primary motivator. Substance abuse can also be an important contributing factor, although it is not a cause or an excuse for domestic abuse. Even prescription drugs, like narcotic pain killers, can lead to abuse and addiction that ultimately contribute to domestic violence. Drug recalls are important in limiting access, but there are also illicit drugs and alcohol that can lead to abuse and violence.

Signs of Domestic Abuse
It can be difficult to recognize domestic abuse in your own relationship, especially when it does not involve overt violence. Some signs your partner may be abusive include feeling afraid of your partner, feeling as if you can never do anything right, outbursts, being put down verbally, being limited by your partner when it comes to seeing friends and family or hearing or spending money, being threatened, or being physically harmed by your partner. It is often easier to see the signs in other women, but it is important to be able to recognize them in your own relationship. 

Asking for or Offering Help
The consequences of domestic abuse can be devastating and far-reaching, ranging from physical injuries to substance abuse and addiction, and even to death. This is why it is so important to get help if you find yourself in this situation, or to offer help if you know someone going through it. Getting help is hard, though. You may feel afraid to anger your partner or to lose your children. The only way it will stop is to get help.

You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, at 1-800- 799-SAFE, but you can also reach out to someone you trust, like a friend. If you see someone else being abused, reach out. Your efforts to help may be rebuffed, but be persistent and non-judgmental. Offer to listen and to help, with the kids for instance, or with a place to stay. Domestic abuse has reached epidemic levels, but being aware and being prepared to help make a big difference.

Thanks to "team at"

Fran lee

February 13th, 2010 Fran lee passed away...a guest on The Woman's Connection when we first started out in the 1990's.  She had her own program on "How TO" do and fix things.  But she was best known for her 1972 activism on getting rid of Dog Waste. and became law in New York City, we now have the Pooper Scooper Law thanks to her. As Ed Koch once said "New Yorkers can hold their heads up high".  Enjoyed my interview with her and her frankness!!

Top 10 Diva Do's and Don'ts: Home Improvements Projects for Women

Guest blog by Norma Vally

1. DON’T wear loose clothing while performing home improvement tasks. Loose-fitting garments can get caught in power tools, especially saws—a potentially life threatening situation.

2. DO know where the main shut-off valves for all your utilities are located. Women need to know how to turn off the main power sources for the gas, water and electricity in their homes. This is critical in an emergency.

3. DON’T be stymied by a lack of upper body strength. For example, women can gain leverage by extending the length of a wrench—thus requiring less brute strength—by adding a long piece of metal pipe over the wrench’s handle. “Back in Brooklyn, we call that pipe a ‘persuader,’” Norma says.

4. DO mark your project materials before cutting them. The old adage goes, “Measure twice, cut once.” Norma takes it a step further, “Whenever possible, mark instead of measure is even better.”

5. DON’T buy cheap tools. Investing in good tools upfront will save you money in the long run since they won’t need to be replaced. They’ll also save you a lot of aggravation— and not being aggravated is priceless!

6. DO know which direction to turn screws and other fittings. The general rule is, “Right tight, left loose.”

7. DON’T be embarrassed to ask for help from the staff in home improvement centers and hardware stores. They are often retired trades people and can offer a wealth of information.

8. DO organize your work space and keep it clutter-free. Clean up as you work to keep the area safe and free of potential hazards, especially anything that you can trip over.

9. DON’T forget to bring along any old parts that you may be replacing when you go to the hardware store. Norma says, “It’s much easier for you and the sales staff to find replacement parts when you bring in an example of what you’re looking for.” If you can’t bring it with you, try to find a serial or ID number from the original part.

10. DO unplug your power tools when you’re adjusting a part or changing a blade. “Just turning the tool off isn’t enough,” cautions Norma. “Accidents can and do happen, so be sure to always unplug your tools.”