Guest blog by Judymay Murphy
Author of Your Life Only a Gazillion Times Better: A Practical Guide to Creating the Life of Your Dreams
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog
1. Notice how what you put in and what you get out are always linked. If you want to make a fish pie, you put in fish. If you want to make a cherry pie, you put in cherries. Take note of what you have been putting into your life and what kind of pie you've been getting as a result. What steps have you been taking toward having your ideal career, what have you been eating, how much exercise have you been taking, how much time have you been spending with those you love, how many meetings have you been having about new ways to make and invest money? Write up how you have been apportioning your time every day. Remember, excuses do not give you the life of your dreams, inspired, consistent action is what's required. So choose some better pie-fillings than TV shows, burgers and moan-y conversations, choose positive talk, walks and fresh fruits and veggies.
2. Go to the place you spend most of your time, (your office, garden, living room, car...) and notice what is best about that place. Find one way to enhance that aspect, creating even more light, fixing up the view, making it even more comfortable. Now notice what is not working or not feeling good about the space and decide what needs to been slightly changed or radically transformed, perhaps it needs to be re-organized, cleaned, de-cluttered, revamped, to have nature or technology brought in? How will your life be a Gazillion times better through your space being more beautiful, more efficient or more inspiring?
3. Take a minute to work out where your trigger areas are when it comes to slipping back on achieving your goals. Perhaps you are doing great with healthy eating until you pass the pizza restaurant on the way home from the movies, or you are taking action on setting up your company until things get busy in your current workplace, or doing great with saving money until you go into a clothing store, . Once you have identified these danger areas write up alternatives so that you can avoid them; driving home a different route from the cinema, dedicating three nights a week to your new business no matter what is going on at work, leaving cash and credit cards at home when you go to a mall.
4. What needs to be said that you have not yet communicated to someone? Is it telling a parent or sibling that you love them? Is it telling a co-worker that you are no longer willing to shoulder their workload for them? Is it telling yourself that you forgive yourself for something? Is it telling your boss that you are leaving to start your own company? Role-play it with someone and have them act out every possible reaction and notice how you cope with every response. Now say what you need to say in a way that supports everyone, most of all you.
5. Pay attention to how you appear to others as you move through the world. This is not about becoming focused on what others think about you, it is about being aware of the effect you have on people. Is your expression usually blank, hostile, giddy, depressed, edgy? What about your tone of voice? Is it timid, monotone, sarcastic? We are so used to ourselves that we can easily believe we are just neutral and this is never the case. How would you prefer to come across- light, dependable, humorous, responsible, playful, powerful, active?
6. Sit down and name the area of your life that isn't working as well as the others. For some this is relationships, for others it may be career, money, health, creativity, emotions, - you know what it is for you. Take a piece of paper and write an honest account of where you are in that area, taking care not to exaggerate or minimize. Now write up what you are prepared to do to make it an area of strength. Decide on one action you will take very day for one month to turn things around. This could be swimming for 20 minutes a day, saving five dollars a day by bringing lunch to work and putting it in a trading account at the end of each week, reading 4 pages a day of a helpful book, spending 30 minutes a day talking with one of your kids really getting to know them. You will be amazed at how you quickly start to love that area of your life, especially when you start to get great results way before the month is up.
7. Keep going when things seem to be going wrong. Many people stop taking action when they meet with resistance or disapproval from others, or when things don't go exactly to plan. If something doesn't work out the way you had hoped, assess what happened and what you have learned. Immediately take a new and different action to get you to your desired result. It's not a refusal just a delay, and it's the delays and the learning's that strengthen us for making the rest of the dream come true.
8. Keep going when things seem to be going right. The flip side to point 7 is that people will often slow down and stop following a triumph. When you achieve a goal it is important to take time to rest and celebrate and then its time to use the momentum and confidence gained with the last achievement and use it to get to the next level. If you get a promotion, great! Now start to focus on how you can feel even better by giving even more value to the company, how you can start your own investment project for the extra money you will be making, how you can help those around you to adjust to the new circumstances. If you loose weight, how can you ensure it stays off and that you get even more fit and healthy and help others to do so also?
9. Ask yourself every morning, what are five things I can do today, five small steps I can take to make my dreams come true? Have the questions posted up on the bathroom mirror, on your bedroom door, on the computer screen, wherever they will catch your eye. You can take note of the answers you come up with and tick them off the list as you achieve them throughout the day. That night, over dinner, you and your family can share your dream-maker triumphs.
10. Tap back into your real dream, that thing that you promised yourself as a child that you would do. Did you always want travel, adventure, to make a beautiful home, a certain kind of toy, a certain type of friend, a dog, a pony, peace and quiet, to learn more, to invent something, to perform? You know what it is. Take one action right now to launch it into being. Enjoy making your life a Gazillion Times Better.