I LOST HOPE by M.J. Rose

Dear Reader:

In 1999, for the first time in my life I lost hope. Not as an author – but as a human being. To deal with it, I did what so many writers do –I buried myself in writing a new novel. But it was only when In Fidelity was finished did I realize that in writing it, I had also unburied something I’d lost.

In Fidelity is not a story about my life that year. It is a fictional story that explores the ties that bind us each to the other. It is suspenseful, a little bit sexy and very much one woman’s psychological adventure.

But I want to share with you what was going on in my life that fueled this novel.

In the fall of 1998, just as I was ending a twelve-month mourning period for my mother, Doug, the man I live with, went into the hospital for a routine out-patient kidney biopsy. 

An hour later, his doctor came to the small, windowless waiting room to tell me something had gone dreadfully wrong and Doug was bleeding to death. They had fifteen minutes to save his life.

Doug survived and spent the next two weeks in intensive care. It was while I was sitting by his bed in Stamford Hospital, while he slowly came back to life, that the idea for In Fidelity was born.

Was I cold and heartless to be able to think about a book when the man who I was very much in love with lay there asleep, hooked up to monitors and machines? I don’t think so. It was how I survived. It was how I prayed. 

A few weeks after Doug came out of intensive care he was back in the hospital to begin kidney dialysis. For the next year, this brilliant 41-year-old composer and musician lived a half-life of doctor’s visits and five-hour treatments three times a week. His work was no longer writing music it was staying alive. He was in and out of the hospital over thirty times in twelve months.

And I? When I was not being a caregiver – I wrote In Fidelity. 

I did it to escape into a world I could control. I did it to hide. And I did it to prove to myself that there was life outside of the illness we were facing. 

And then after a long year of hospitals and doctors and infections and waiting, we were given an amazing Christmas present. David, Doug’s brother decided to give him one his kidneys.

On December 30, at the Yale New Haven Hospital, Doug’s received a new kidney. On January 4th, 2000 we came home. Doug was able to go back to work in less than a week and I was able to sit down at the computer and finally finish In Fidelity.

This novel has given me much more than I’ve given to it… it’s kept me company and kept me going. It has also helped me put into words what I have discovered about the powerful connections between people who care about each other – connections that neither time or deed can sever.

My wish is that you enjoy In Fidelity’s twists and turns and get completely caught up in it and can’t put it down.  e of what I felt writing it – hope.

I’d like to let you know that a part of the proceeds of In Fidelity will be going to the National Kidney Foundation in honor of Doug’s brother and the wonderful doctors at The Yale New Haven Transplant Center.

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"Ten Tips For A Safe Hospital Stay" By Laura Nathanson, MD, FAAP.

We’re going through a sticky patch in hospital care. Patients and their loved ones often feel that there are too many doctors (and you rarely see the same one twice) and too few nurses (and it’s hard to get their attention). Worse: it’s hard to figure out just who is in charge -- or whether anyone is. Here’s why:

Too many doctors: 
Many hospitals are Teaching Hospitals. That means that medical students, young MD’s not yet licensed to practice, (Residents), and practicing doctors who are earning a Subspecialty degree (Fellows) all contribute to patient care. And all of them work under the supervision of a fully qualified Specialist or Subspecialist. Many patients have complicated conditions and a resulting profusion of doctors in various stages of training. 

All these doctors may appear at your bedside, individually or en masse. They rotate in shifts that are shorter than they used to be; your daytime doctor is unlikely to be your nighttime doctor. And they change crews as often as week to week.

Nobody in charge: 
If you have only two doctors, they need to communicate only with you and with each other. If you have three doctors, there are six crosspaths for communication. If you have six doctors, there are potentially 720 types of doctor-doctor communication. Nobody checks that every such communication takes place and is accurate. 

Medical specialists often vie with each other for decision-making power. Who decides if the lung abscess needs antibiotics, or surgical drainage? The lung doctors, the surgeons, or the infectious disease specialist?

Just to top it off, many hospitals now employ their own Hospitalists -- physicians who are charged with being the final decision maker at the patient’s overpopulated bedside, able to overrule a Specialist’s and or a Primary Care Doctor’s recommendations. 

Too few nurses: 
We are coping as a nation with a severe nursing shortage. Even if lots more people were eager to become nurses, there are fewer and fewer expert Registered Nurses around willing and able to teach them. 

So nurses may not only be few and far between, but exhausted by longer shifts, higher patient loads, the paperwork demanded by Managed Care and the Joint Commission, (a private, non-profit watchdog for hospital standards,) and the rapid development of new skills for them to master. 

What can be done?

The fall out from these developments can be serious: errors and delay in diagnosis, dangerous glitches with medication and care techniques, and oversights in ordinary patient safety.

Here are my suggestions for staying safe in the hospital:
1. Ensure that a competent adult stays at the patient’s bedside, and goes along on trips requiring wheelchair or gurney, as close to 24/7 as possible.
2. That adult should serve as a Sentinel, alert to obvious deviations in care (food being given to a patient who is supposed to have nothing by mouth, for instance); ominous changes in the patient’s condition unnoticed by the staff (increased trouble breathing, poor color, incoherence); and situations that are dangerous, such as an unconscious patient who is vomiting and in danger of aspirating the vomitus.
3. The Sentinel should be prepared to perform tasks that free up the nurse for more sophisticated patient care. Offer to empty basins and bedpans, sponge-bathe the patient, tidy the bed, know where vomit basins, bedpans, towels etc. are located, and how to help the patient put on a hospital gown. The Sentinel also may have to call for, or even administer, emergency treatment, such as suctioning the vomiting patient.
4. Ask every caregiver not only their name, but their exact title. If you don’t know what the title means (“I’m a first year fellow in Invasive Radiology,” for instance) then ask (“What is a Fellow? What is Invasive Radiology?”).
5. Ask for the training credentials of the Hospitalist. “Hospitalism” is not a specialty in itself; there are no required credentials, no Board Certification in Hospitalism. Your Hospitalist should be a Board Certified Specialist in the kind of condition the patient has. If not, or if you’re not sure, call your own Primary Care Physician.
6. Every student, resident, and fellow works under the supervision of a senior, board-certified physician. Ask each one who their supervisor is and the nature of his or her credentials. If a surgeon-in-training appears at the bedside to perform a procedure, make sure that the senior surgeon knows about it and agrees to it beforehand (unless it is a truly urgent situation.
7. The potentially most dangerous area of the hospital is the MRI suite. It contains an extremely powerful magnet that acts on every magnetizable object in the room. Metal devices or fragments inside the body can shift and damage tissue. Loose objects in the room, such as an oxygen tank, will “home in” on the magnet at great speed, regardless of what is in the way -- such as your head. Make sure your technician has checked on all possible dangers. There are no “national” guidelines for MRI safety.
8. Every study or lab test performed is ordered to answer a specific medical question. For instance, Is the bone broken? Is the pneumonia improving? Has the heart suffered damage? If you don’t know why a test has been ordered, clarify it and write it down. Once the test is performed, make sure that the physician who “read” the results actually answers the question.
9. Wear a shrill whistle on a chain around your neck, hidden under your top, to use ONLY in the case of a true desperate emergency.
10. As soon as possible after discharge, obtain and review the records of the stay with an eye towards accuracy, logic, and the credentials of the physicians. Make sure the reports of studies answer the medical question that was asked, and that the reports of students and doctors in training have been annotated and co-signed by the supervisor.

If this all sounds daunting, well, it is. But after thirty years as a physician, and sixty-seven days and nights with my husband in four different hospitals, I can’t honestly offer less intimidating guidance.

It is likely to be decades before we get medical care under better control, and in the meantime it is up to us, the Sentinels of our loved ones, to become the crucial missing member of the Health Care Team: that is, the person ultimately in charge.

Copyright © 2007 Laura Nathanson

  BUY NOW!!! The book: What You Don't Know Can Kill You: A Physician's Radical Guide to Conquering the Obstacles to Excellent Medical Care