Guacamole (or 'Lobster Guac')

Guest recipe by Linda De Villers, PhD
Author of Simple Sexy Food: 101 Tasty Aphrodisiac Recipes and Sensual Tips to Stir Your Libido and Feed Your L

If your honey loves guacamole, surprise him or her with this special version. It is guaranteed to drive you both wild!

Sexy Foods: lobster, avocado, chili, ginger

Ingredients

1 cup diced avocado (about 1 large)
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (about 1 to 2 limes)
1/2 teaspoon finely chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 teaspoon finely chopped red onion
1/2 teaspoon seeded, minced fresh Anaheim chili
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 to 3 grindings black pepper, or to taste
2 ounces cooked lobster meat, chopped
Pickled ginger slices (gari) for garnishing
Sesame rice crackers

Instructions

1. In a medium, nonreactive bowl, combine the avocado, lime juice, cilantro, onion, and chili, and carefully mix together with a spoon.
2. Add the salt and several grindings of pepper, or to taste, mix gently, then fold in the lobster.
3. Serve in chilled, large martini glasses and garnish with a little of the pickled ginger on the rim of each glass. Or use other decorative bowls and garnish with a few pieces of ginger in the
center of each serving. Accompany with the crackers.

1 1/2 cups, 2 generous starter servings

Simple Sexy Kitchen Tip: If the guacamole isn’t finished in one sitting, place a piece of plasticwrap directly on the surface, cover tightly, and refrigerate. Then finish it up within 24 hours.

Love Skills: One of the best tools in the seduction kit is surprise. If your lover loves
guacamole, he or she is liable to do back flips when you serve this ridiculously sexy dish.

Linguine with Grape Tomatoes and Capers

Guest recipe by Viktorija Todorovska
Author of The Puglian Cookbook: Bringing the Flavors of Puglia Home

This simple and easy-to-make dish has all the flavors of Puglia: ripe tomatoes, capers, 
and olive oil. The flavor is complex, and my guests often find it difficult to believe that the
recipe is this simple. Use the best-quality capers you can find—preferably salt packed, 
as brined capers will change the flavor of the dish slightly. If you are using brined capers, 
rinse them thoroughly. 
yield: 4 servings

4 tablespoons (60 ml) extra virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic, peeled and thinly sliced
3 tablespoons (45 ml) salt-packed capers, rinsed
1 pint (473 ml) ripe grape or cherry tomatoes, quartered
5 tablespoons (75 ml) fresh breadcrumbs
11 ounces (308 g) dried linguine
1. In a large pan, heat the olive oil and garlic over low heat. When the garlic starts
to sizzle, add the capers and toss. Cook for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes and cook for
another 5 to 6 minutes, until the tomatoes release some of their liquid. Add the breadcrumbs and cook for an additional 2 to 3 minutes, until they start to change color. 
2. Meanwhile, in a large pot of salted water, cook the linguine to al dente, according
to the package instructions. Drain, reserving a little of the pasta cooking water to thin
the sauce, if necessary, and toss with the sauce.
Reprinted with permission from The Puglian Cookbook by Viktroija Todorovska, Agate Surrey, 2011

Homemade Mallowmars

Guest recipe by Eileen Talanian
Author of Marshmallows: Homemade Gourmet Treats

Mallowmars are from way back in some of our memories. They are graham crackers topped with marshmallow and dipped in chocolate, and are incredibly delicious. Use any flavor marshmallow batter that you like. People are delightfully surprised when they eat homemade mallowmars, but they really go crazy when they are filled with banana, strawberry, or any other unexpected marshmallow flavor. If you don't feel up to dipping the mallowmars, you can just drizzle the tempered chocolate over them decoratively.

Ingredients:
Packaged graham crackers or Homemade Graham Crackers (page 111)
Piping bag and plain decorating tip with a ½-inch hold
Freshly made marshmallow batter of any flavor
Tempered chocolate (page 147)-made with 1 ounce chocolate for each mallowmar + an extra 12 ounces for ease of dipping

Directions:
Don't make the marshmallow batter until everything else is ready. If you are using homemade grahams, cut them out into circles before baking them. If you are using packaged grahams and would like to cut them into circles, you'll need to soften them first. To do so, place them on a cutting surface in a single layer and lay a damp kitchen towel over them for several minutes. When they begin to soften, use a round cookie cutter to cut circles out of the squares. Place the circles on a parchment-lined baking sheet and refresh the grahams in a preheated 350-degree-F oven for about 5 minutes. Pipe a mound of marshmallow batter onto each round and let them cure for 3 or 4 hours before dipping them in chocolate.

Line baking sheets with parchment. Temper the chocolate in a cool, dry room according to the directions given, and place a marshmallow-topped graham on a 2-pringed meat fork, dropping it into the chocolate and gently pushing it under the chocolate to coat it.
Lift it with the fork on the side of the bowl to remove excess chocolate so you have a thin coating, slide the bottom of the fork across the side of the bowl to remove chocolate drips, and coax the mallowmar onto a parchment-lined baking sheet using a skewer. Repeat for each mallowmar. Let the chocolate set before storing them. They will keep for a few weeks with wax paper between in an airtight container.

Unrefined Hazelnut Holiday Layer Cake with Raw Cacao Frosting

Guess recipie by Pooja Mottl
Author of The 3-Day Reset: Restore Your Cravings For Healthy Foods in Three Easy, Empowering Days

Yield: One 8” cake (about 1 ¼ inches high)
Total Time: 40 minutes

Ingredients:
1 ¾ cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ cup organic Grade A maple syrup
1 tablespoon lemon juice (juice of about ½ lemon)
2 ½ tablespoons hazelnut extract
1/3 cup organic coconut oil, melted, or organic expeller pressed canola oil
1 cup filtered water

Preheat your oven to 350 F and grease an 8 inch cake pan. Using a large sieve over a large mixing bowl, sift all dry ingredients - flour, baking powder, soda, and salt.
In another mixing bowl, whisk together your liquids – maple syrup, lemon juice, hazelnut extract, oil and water.
Pour your wet mixture into the dry mixture and stir together using a wooden spoon.
Using a spatula to assist you, pour all batter into cake pan. Bake at 350 F for 35 minutes or until a toothpick can be inserted and removed cleanly. Remove cake from oven, and let rest for 10 minutes. Then invert, releasing the cake from the pan, and place cake right side up on a baking rack, allowing it to fully cool another 30 minutes.

Raw Cacao Cashew Frosting
Yield: 3 cups
Total Time: 5 minutes

Ingredients:
1 ¾ - 2 cups Grade A organic maple syrup
12oz raw organic cashew butter
1 teaspoon hazelnut extract
1 ½ cups organic raw cacao powder (Pooja prefers Navitas Naturals brand)
1-2 teaspoons unsweetened almond milk
1/3 cup hazelnuts, roasted, skins removed, and coarsely chopped (for garnish)

Add all ingredients expect for cacao powder into a large food processor and pulse blend for about 15 seconds or until ingredients are just fully incorporated.
Add the cacao powder and blend, just until all ingredients are fully mixed and frosting takes on a smooth consistency – but not any longer. You’re now ready to frost!

To assemble cake:

After cake has thoroughly cooled, cut it delicately in half widthwise using a serrated knife, if possible.
Using your desired amount of frosting, frost the top of the bottom half layer of your cake. Then gently place the top half over it and use remaining frosting to ice cake fully. Garnish with toasted hazelnuts and Enjoy!

Notes:
Unrefined ingredients result in a more delicious cake and more satisfaction in every bite!

Halibut with Squash Emulsion and Green Asparagus

Guest recipe by Alexandra Guarnaschelli
Exec. Chef: Butter Restaurant
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog

Serves Four
Ingredients:
Four 8-ounce pieces of skinless fresh Halibut (East or West Coast depending on availability)
4 tbsp. Unsalted Butter
1 large Yellow Onion, peeled and thinly sliced
2 Shallots, peeled and thinly sliced
1 cup Orange Juice (preferably freshly squeezed)
The juice from 3 Lemons
2 small Green Zucchini, washed and thinly sliced
2 small Yellow "Summer" Squash, washed and thinly sliced
2 Granny Smith Apples, washed, cored and thinly sliced (do not peel)
2 tsp. Spanish Saffron threads
2 tsp. ground Cumin
2 tsp. ground Coriander (dried)
1 tsp. ground Ginger (dried)
Kosher salt and freshly ground Black Pepper
2 tbsp. Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
20 pieces Green "Pencil" Asparagus, lightly blanched for 2 minutes and cooled in an ice bath

Directions: 
1. Make the Squash Emulsion: In a medium pot, add the butter and melt over low heat. Add the onion and the shallot. Season with salt and pepper. Cook 5-8 minutes, or until the onion is tender. 
2. Add the orange juice, lemon juice, zucchini slices and yellow squash slices. With a large metal spoon, stir until all of the vegetables are blended. Cook over low heat for an additional 10 minutes.
3. Add the apple slices, saffron, cumin, coriander and ginger. Stir to blend. Season with salt and pepper. Cook for an additional 10 minutes.
4. While the sauce is hot, blend in batches in the blender or food processor until smooth. Taste for seasoning.
5. Cook the fish: Add a tbsp. of the olive oil to a sauté pan over medium heat. 
6. When the oil begins to smoke lightly, season the fish on both sides with salt and pepper.
7. Place the halibut in the pan and cook until light brown on the first side, 2-3 minutes.
8. Using the metal spatula, turn the fish on its second side. Cook to desired temperature, 5-8 minutes.

9. Heat a medium sauté pan and add the remaining olive oil. Lightly sauté the asparagus until warm. Season with salt and pepper.
10. Serve the dish: Pour a round circle of the sauce in the center of each of four dinner plates.
11. Arrange 5 asparagus in the sauce on each plate and the halibut on top.

Wine Pairings:
Pinot Blanc
White Rioja

Green Fruits in Jasmine Tea Syrup

Guest recipe by Joanna Pruess
Author of Tea Cuisine: A New Approach to Flavoring Contemporary and Traditional Dishes
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog

Serves 6

Jasmine tea and sweetened lime juice transform a simple trio of green fruits into an ambrosial offering. Its memory will linger on your taste buds. Savor the fruit alone or with a scoop of green tea ice cream.

2 tsp jasmine tea leaves
1⁄2 c sugar
Grated zest of 1 lime
Juice of 1 lime
3 kiwi, peeled and sliced
1 ripe honeydew melon, about 5 lbs, flesh scooped into little balls or diced
8 oz seedless green grapes, stemmed, washed, and cut in half
Sprigs of fresh mint, for garnish

1. Bring 1/3 cup water just to a boil in a small saucepan. Add the jasmine tea, remove the pan from the heat, and steep for 4 to 5 minutes. Strain into a clean pan, pressing to extract as much liquid as possible, and discard the tea leaves.
2. Add the sugar and lime zest to the pan. Over medium heat, stir until the sugar dissolves, then bring the liquid to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer the syrup for 1 to 2 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the lime juice.
3. Place the kiwi, melon, and grapes in a serving bowl and pour on the syrup. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator for 4 to 6 hours. Remove from the refrigerator at least 20 minutes before serving, toss gently, and garnish with mint.

Variations
Yellow Fruit Salad: Combine 4 apricots, 4 nectarines, 1 mango, 1 papaya, and 1 small pineapple all cut into cubes. Prepare a syrup flavored with Earl Grey tea and lemon juice instead of jasmine tea and lime. Proceed as for a green fruit salad.

Gerbet Macaroons

Guest recipe by Tina Casaceli
Director of Pastry and Baking Arts
The French Culinary Institute
Author of The Fundamental Techniques of Classic Pastry Arts

Makes 25 macaroon sandwich cookies
Estimated time to complete: 2 hours

Ingredients
115 grams (4 ounces) almond flour
200 grams (7 ounces) confectioners’ sugar
For the meringue
90 grams (3½ ounces) egg whites, 
at room temperature
8 grams (2 tablespoons) confectioners’ sugar
For the finish
100 grams (3½ ounces) raspberry or other jam

Equipment
Baking sheet
Parchment paper
Food processor fitted with the metal blade
Rubber spatula
Sifter
Standing electric mixer fitted with the whip attachment
Pastry bag fitted with a #2 tip
Wire racks
Offset spatula
Prepare your mise en place.


Preheat the oven to 162°C (325ºF).
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.
Combine the almond flour and sugar in the bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal blade. Process for about 1 minute or until very fine. Set aside.

To make the meringue, place the egg whites in the bowl of the standing electric mixer fitted with the whip attachment. Beat on low to aerate. Add the confectioners’ sugar, raise the speed to high, and beat for about 3 minutes or until soft peaks form. Take care not to over-whip or the meringue will be dry and it will be difficult to fold in the dry ingredients.

Remove the bowl from the mixer and, using a rubber spatula, fold the almond mixture into the meringue until well-blended.

Transfer the batter to a pastry bag fitted with the #2 tip. 
Carefully pipe fifty 2.5 centimeter (1-inch) rounds of the macaroon batter onto the parchment-lined baking sheet. Set aside for about 1 hour or until the macaroons form a skin on their surface. This is extremely important, as the skin helps the macaroons hold their shape during baking.

Bake the macaroons for about 10 minutes, or until firm and just beginning to brown around the edges. (The macaroons should not color much during baking.) Watch carefully, as the high sugar content will cause the cookies to burn quickly.

Immediately transfer the macaroons to wire racks to cool.
Using an offset spatula, lightly coat the flat bottom of 25 of the cooled macaroons with a thin layer of jam. Cover the jam with another macaroon, bottom side down, pressing gently to make a sandwich cookie.

Serve the macaroons immediately or store them, airtight in layers, at room temperature for a day or two.

TIPS
Buttercream, ganache, or pistachio or praline paste may be used as a filling in place of the jam. 
A drop or two of food coloring along with 3 milliliters (½ teaspoon) of any extract or 15 milliliters (1 tablespoon) of fruit brandy can be added to the meringue.

EVALUATING YOUR SUCCESS
The baked macaroons should be smooth and round with no cracks, crunchy on the exterior and soft and chewy in the interior.
The baked macaroons should be consistent in size, shape, and color.
There should be just enough filling to hold the two pieces together as well as to add a bit of moisture.

Crispy Rice Treats

Guest recipe by Eileen Talanian
Author of Marshmallows: Homemade Gourmet Treats

Makes one 9x13x2-inch pan

Nearly everyone in the United States has eaten these sweet gems. They’ve become a staple at bake sales, as after-sports refreshments, or for birthday party delights. You can make them with either fluff or marshmallow, so if you have a little extra of either around the house, this is a great way to use it up. Try using one of the pretty-colored marshmallow or fluff flavors to make your treats more special. There is no wheat or corn in them.

3 tablespoons salted butter
7 ounces, by weight, any flavor fluff, or 10 ounces, by weight, marshmallows
7 cups crisp rice cereal

Spray the bottom and sides of the pan or mold with nonstick spray, and wipe lightly with a paper towel so that only a thin film or oil remains on the surface.
Melt the butter and fluff or marshmallows together until smooth. Add the cereal and stir until all of it is evenly coated. Spread into the prepared pan and let sit until cool. Cut as desired and wrap in plastic wrap. They will keep for several days in an airtight container.

CHOCOLATE CHIP OR CONFETTI CRISPY RICE TREATS
Make the recipe for Crispy Rich Treats, above, adding 1 cup of mini semisweet chocolate chips, or 1 cup of candy-coated chocolate pieces.

Coca with Candied Red Peppers/Coca con Pimientos Rojos Caramelizados

Guest recipe by Anya von Bremzen
Author of The New Spanish Table

2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for brushing the coca
1 medium-size white onion, quartered and thinly sliced
4 cups thinly sliced drained roasted peppers in oil (from four 14- to 16-ounce jars)
5 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 tablespoons sherry vinegar, preferably aged, or best-quality red wine vinegar
Coarse salt (kosher or sea)
All-purpose flour, for dusting the rolling pin
1 pound store-bought pizza dough, thawed if frozen
Confectioners' sugar, for dusting the coca

1. Heat the 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Add the onion and cook until limp but not browned, 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the roasted peppers and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring. Add the granulated sugar, vinegar, and 2 tablespoons water and stir until the sugar dissolves. Cover the skillet, reduce the heat to low, and cook until the liquid is reduced, about 10 minutes, stirring from time to time. Season with salt to taste and let the pepper mixture cool completely.

2. Place an oven rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 450°F. Lightly brush a 17- by 11-inch baking sheet with olive oil.

3. Lightly flour a work surface. Using a floured rolling pin, roll out the dough so it is roughly as large as the baking sheet. Transfer it to the oiled baking sheet and brush it with olive oil. Spread the filling evenly on top.

4. Bake the coca on the center rack until it is light golden and baked through, 18 to 20 minutes. Let the coca cool to warm (or make the coca ahead, which actually adds to its flavor; reheat it gently before serving). Cut the coca into rectangles (I use sturdy kitchen scissors for this), dust it very lightly with confectioners' sugar, and serve at once. Makes 1 large coca; serves 12 as a tapa.

Chocolate-Dipped Almond-Stuffed Figs/Higos Rellenos de Almendras en Chocolate

Guest recipe by Anya von Bremzen
Author of The New Spanish Table

3/4 cup brandy
16 soft plump dried Calimyrna figs
16 lightly toasted blanched almonds, preferably marcona
10 ounces best-quality bittersweet chocolate (at least 70 percent cacao), finely chopped or coarsely ground in a food processor
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, chopped

1. Place the brandy in a small microwave-safe bowl and microwave on high power until very hot, 1 minute. Place the figs in a bowl that will hold them snugly. Pour the hot brandy over the figs and let soak for about 30 minutes, stirring several times. Drain the figs thoroughly and pat dry with paper towels. (If you'd like, the brandy can be reused in baking or to plump dried fruit.)

2. Using the tip of a small, sharp knife, make a deep incision in the bottom of a fig and push an almond inside. Repeat with the remaining figs and almonds. (Calimyrna dried figs often come tightly pressed together in round packages. If this is the case, once the figs are stuffed, pat and squeeze them lightly between your fingers to restore their round shape.)

3. Place the chocolate in a small stainless-steel mixing bowl set over a pot of simmering water or in the top of a small double boiler (over simmering water) over low heat and stir until it melts completely, about 5 minutes. Whisk in the butter and stir until the chocolate mixture is glossy, then remove from the heat. The melted chocolate mixture needs to be at least 1 1/2 inches deep to cover the figs. If the level in the mixing bowl or double boiler is too shallow, scrape about half of it into a 1-cup measure, replenishing it as needed.

4. Line a small baking sheet or a large plate with aluminum foil or use a Silpat pan liner, if you have one. Holding a fig by the stem, dip it in the chocolate mixture, turning to coat it completely and letting the excess drip off. If the stem is not long enough to hold, you can skewer the fig on a toothpick. Place the chocolate-dipped fig on the baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining figs.

5. Refrigerate the figs until the chocolate is completely set, about 2 hours. After an hour, use a thin spatula or knife to gently separate the figs from the aluminum foil or pan liner so they don't stick. Makes 16 figs.

Cinnamon Coffee Cake Mix

Guest recipe by Shaina Olmanson
Author of Desserts in Jars: 50 Sweet Treats that Shine

Summary: A good cinnamon coffee cake is not to be messed with. It’s the perfect accompaniment to that first cup of java in the morning, and your friends will be grateful when you make its preparation as easy as mixing it and popping it in the oven.

Ingredients
MIXES:

. 2 cups all-purpose flour
. 1 teaspoon baking soda
. 1 teaspoon baking powder
. 1 ½ teaspoons ground cinnamon
. ½ cup cinnamon chips
. 1 cup sugar
. Vanilla bean seeds scraped from 1 vanilla bean pod
. ½ cup chopped pecans
Makes 1 jar of cake mix, to yield one 9-inch-square cake

Instructions

Mix together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and ground cinnamon in a bowl. Place in a 1-quart jar. Top with a layer of cinnamon chips.

2. Mix together the sugar and the vanilla bean seeds and add as a layer in the jar. Top with the chopped pecans. Seal with the lid, decorate the jar if you like, and attach a label with these instructions for the recipient:

TO MAKE CINNAMON COFFEE CAKE

. 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
. 2 large eggs
. 1 cup sour cream or Greek-style yogurt
. ¼ cup whole milk

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9-inch square baking pan. Mix together the butter, eggs, and yogurt in a large bowl until well blended. Stir in all the contents of the jar, then slowly stir in the milk. Pour into the prepared pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool slightly. Serve warm.

Ice, Ice Baby

Guest post by Jennifer Rosen

To Americans, Canada is a parallel, frozen universe peopled with hockey players, polar bears and cheap prescription drugs. Wine-wise, it's not on the radar. Well, roll over Mondavi, and give Nanook a chance. Canada happens to be the Mecca for icewine.

Icewine, in case you haven't met it, ranks among the world's classiest dessert wines, more Chateauneuf de Popsicle than EskiMerlot pie. To learn what sets this sticky apart, let's pay a visit during harvest. Ah, harvest time! Indian summer! Sweat on the brow and dirt between the toes! Singing workers, laden with bushel baskets of bursting berries…oops, wrong harvest.

It's February on the Niagara peninsula; the thermometer's barely cresting zero. In the proto-dawn of 4:00am, shivering figures in fleece and down maneuver mittened fingers through rattling, lifeless vines. Frozen berries are whisked off as fast as they're picked, to be pressed before the sun comes up. 

Look closely: these are not your normal migrant workers. I see doctors, lawyers…media types! Someone with a degree from the Tom Sawyer School of Economics has people paying to come up here and freeze their assets off. Such is the prestige of this rare and expensive wine. What's going on?

There are several ways to turbo-charge a dessert wine. All involve dehydrating the grapes. You can dry them on mats in the sun, or let them shrivel on the vine. Very good little winemakers may get a visit from Botrytis Cinerea, the "noble rot" that turns healthy grapes into hairy, scary, little sugar bombs. Then there's icewine.

Repeated freezing and thawing changes the chemical composition of grapes. It concentrates sugars, acids and extracts and separates them from water, which freezes at a higher temperature. If the grapes are frozen solid enough, pressing will eject the water in crystalized shards, leaving behind the intense, aromatic goo from which ethereal wines are made. 

This fortuitous discovery was made in Germany, in 1794, when Hans Schnockleputter went on a Schnapps bender and forgot to harvest his grapes until January, by which time they had frozen solid. When worse comes to Gewurtz, bad wine is better than no wine, so he went ahead and vinified, stumbling, thus, upon the magic of eiswein.

The capricious German weather permits eiswein only a few times a decade. But in the shadow of the Niagara Escarpment (a mystifying geologic word that sounds like it pushed back its chair in a hurry and left), the harmonic convergence of long, temperate growing season, followed by a predictable deep-freeze, makes icewine a reliable crop.

Which is not to say it's easy. Leaving grapes on the vine long into January is a risky and labor-intensive business. Rain and wind storms, bad mold and birds all vie to make off with the goods. Yields are extremely low; only 5% to 10% of a normal harvest. 

Hence, the price. But at least you know what you're getting. To distinguish themselves from unscrupulous Yankees who put grapes in the freezer and pass the results off as icewine, Canada formed the Vintners Quality Association (VQA), which tightly controls how, when, and at what temperature you can harvest. Scofflaws can't use the VQA appellation and will be put in the penalty box for icing. Right now you're probably thinking, "Hello! Icing results in a stoppage of play with the puck being dropped in the face-off circle near the goalie in the offending team's zone!" But that would be hockey and this is wine.

And extraordinary wine, indeed. What sets it apart from the cloying mass of syrup that defines some belly-button wines is its zingingly high, refreshing acidity. Along with exotic perfumes like papaya, passion fruit and ginger, you get this sweet-tart wake-up-call of fresh lemon and lime. And a texture like the heavy, hypnotic, flow inside a lava lamp.

Which just goes to show that where there's a will there's a wine, and we ought to look at a map more often.

Have Some, M'Dear

Guest post by Jennifer Rosen

You can leave a bottle of Madeira on a hot car seat for weeks without ruining it, and for that you can thank King George the Third, the German navy, and Zarco the One-Eyed.

1419: the dawn of the Age of Exploration. Portuguese sea captain João Gonçalves Zarco, sailing around the north coast of Africa, spots what he describes as "vapors rising from the mouth of hell." Screwing up all his courage, he penetrates hell to discover a small, fog-bound island, part of an archipelago lying 475 miles offshore of Casablanca. The fog is important, not only because it will later feature in the opening shot of the remake of King Kong, but also because it makes the island invisible. That, plus the fact that it's the largest deep-water harbor in the world, and sits squarely in the path of anyone sailing from Europe to the West Indies, makes it a valuable gateway for Portugal. 

Zarco names the island "Madeira," which means wood. Next, he wipes out every last tree by starting a fire that will burn for seven years. 

He has inadvertently provided a great service to the wine industry. The volcanic soil, once too acidic for grape growing, is made alkaline by the ashes of burnt forests. Grapes are planted.

Cut to Boston, 1650: Colonists are protesting the Navigation Acts, which decree that nothing enters or leaves the Colonies without passing through, and paying taxes to, England. 

Just then, Charles II of England makes one of the great political marriages of all time, when his Portuguese fiancée arrives with a dowry consisting of Bombay, Tangier, Morocco, the use of ports in Africa, Asia and America, and lots of money. She also introduces twin civilizing influences: tea and the fork. In return, Charles exempts Madeira from his protectionist policy.

Madeira, therefore, is the only wine shipped directly to America, and so acquires totemic status: a swig of Madeira becomes the American patriot's way of spitting in the British eye. Both the signing of the Declaration of Independence and George Washington's inauguration are toasted in Madeira wine. 

However, despite the fact that in 1478, the Duke of Clarence, condemned to death in the Tower of London, chooses to accomplish this by drowning in a vat of Madeira, an anecdote that I have been trying to stuff into this story for hours, the fact of the matter is that the wine is thin, acidic, and basically tastes terrible. 

This changes in 1600, when a cargo ship goes off course and wanders around the tropics for a year because none of the crew can bring himself to ask for directions. To everyone's surprise, this vacation in the sun vastly improves the wine on board. 

For the next 300 years, Madeira is routinely sailed around the world to mellow, sometimes for 5 years or more. The inconvenience of this approach is brought home during World War I, when German U-boats find these slow wine tankers gratifying target practice. Especially when they manage to salvage the cargo before it sinks. In a quantum leap of technology - no doubt strongly resisted by Portuguese dockworkers unions - the wine industry trades baking aboard for baking ashore.

Today, the wine cooks for three to six months in giant tanks with heat-sensitive locks that alert the government if the temperature gets too high, and then the government comes and confiscates the wine. If that doesn't happen, the wine next ages in barrels for anywhere from three to hundreds of years before bottling. It's so indestructible that someone who just tasted the 1795 vintage reports that it "easily has 50 years of life ahead of it." Which is a lot more than the Duke of Clarence had, but when it comes to that, personally, I think I'd rather jump into a vat of Lubriderm and soften to death.

A Bargain, Really! 

Frozen English Toffee Cake

Guest recipe by Sandra Lee
Author of Semi-Homemade The Complete Cookbook

Serves 12 to 16

Cake:
1 box (18.25-ounce) devil's food cake mix, Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe® 
1 1/3 cups water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs

Ice Cream Filling and Frosting:
1/2 gallon chocolate or vanilla ice cream, softened, Breyers® or Edy's® 
1 bag (10-ounce) English toffee bits, SKOR® 
1 container (8-ounce) frozen whipped topping, thawed, Cool Whip® 

Prep time: 15 minutes
Baking time: 30 minutes
Cooling time: 30 minutes
Freezing time: 3 hours

Cake Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour two 8-inch-round cake pans. Combine cake mix, water, oil, and eggs in large bowl. Beat for 2 minutes, or until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake for 30 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into center of cakes comes out clean. Cool cakes in pans on cooling rack for 15 minutes. Remove cakes from pans and cool cakes completely on cooling rack.

Ice Cream Filling Preparation:

Line three 8-inch-round cake pans with plastic wrap, allowing 3 inches of plastic to hang over sides. Divide ice cream equally among pans. Using rubber spatula, spread ice cream over bottoms of prepared pans, forming smooth, even layers. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of toffee bits over ice cream in each pan. Freeze for 3 hours, or until frozen solid. 

To Assemble and Frost:

Cut each cake layer horizontally in half. Working quickly, remove ice cream from pans. Peel off plastic and place 1 ice cream circle on each of 3 cake layers. Stack cake and ice cream layers atop each other on serving platter. Top with remaining cake layer. Frost cake with whipped topping and sprinkle with remaining toffee bits. Freeze until ready to serve. Let ice cream cake stand at room temperature for 5 minutes before serving. 

Copyright © 2003 SLSH Enterprises

Espresso Brownie Cake Balls

Guest recipe by DeDe Wilson
Author of Cake Balls: More Than 60 Delectable and Whimsical Sweet Spheres of Goodness 

For coffee lovers only! These pack not only a serious espresso flavor but also quite a caffeine punch. The espresso brownie is so moist that it doesn’t need any binder. Rolled into balls, dipped in a dark chocolate shell, and topped with crumbled chocolate-covered coffee beans, these are the most robust cake balls in the book. I recommend a smaller size for these cake balls, as they are dense and rich, with a brownie-like texture.

Makes about 60 1-inch balls

1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup instant espresso powder
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1/3 cup chocolate-covered espresso beans
1 pound semisweet chocolate, such as Callebaut or Valrhona Equatoriale, finely chopped
60 (1-inch) fluted paper cups (optional)

1. Position a rack in the middle of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Coat the inside of a 9-inch square pan with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.

2. Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl to aerate and combine.

3. Whisk together the melted butter, sugars, and vanilla. Whisk in the espresso powder, then add the eggs one at a time, whisking well after each addition until smooth. Add the flour mixture, stirring until just combined. Scrape into the prepared pan.

4. Bake for about 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with some moist crumbs clinging. Let cool completely in the pan on a wire rack. The brownie is ready to use. Alternatively, double-wrap the pan in plastic wrap and store at room temperature for up to 1 day before proceeding.

5. To make the cake balls, crumble the cooled brownie and work with your hands (or the flat paddle of an electric mixer) until the crumbs come together. Roll into golf ball–size cake balls. Refrigerate until firm, if needed.

6. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil. Crush the chocolate-covered espresso beans. You can use the flat bottom of a heavy pan or place them in a zipper-top bag and crush with a rolling pin. Melt the chocolate in the microwave or a double boiler. Dip the balls one at a time in the chocolate, encouraging any excess chocolate to drip back into the container. Place, evenly spaced, on the prepared pan. Sprinkle some crushed espresso beans on top of each cake ball while the chocolate is still wet. Refrigerate briefly until the chocolate is set. Trim the bottoms, if needed. Place each cake ball in a paper cup, if desired. Place in a single layer in an airtight container and refrigerate for up to 3 days. Bring to room temperature before serving.

Dark Chocolate Cherry Sugar Cookies

Guest post by Wonka Exceptionals

(Makes about 3 dozen cookies)

1 ¾ cups All-purpose flour
¾ tsp Baking soda
¼ tsp Salt
¾ cup Sugar
½ cup (1 stick) Unsalted butter, softened
1 Large egg
1 (3.5 oz) WONKA Exceptionals Domed Dark Chocolate Bar
chopped ½ cup Dried tart cherries
White decorator icing (optional) 
PREHEAT oven to 375° F. 
COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. 
BEAT granulated sugar and butter in large mixer bowl until combined. Beat in egg. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chopped chocolate bar and cherries. Drop by level tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. 
BAKE for 10 minutes or until golden around edges. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely. Drizzle with icing. 

CORNISH HENS WITH ROSEMARY PORT WINE & CRANBERRIES

Guest recipe by Margi Hemingway

The glazed carrots and brown rice with walnuts really go well and the rosy hue of the cranberries makes it look romantic.

2 Cornish game hens sauce:
4 Rosemary sprigs 1 ½ -2 T. flour
No-Stick spray ¾ cup rich chicken stock
Poultry seasoning 2/3 cup port wine
Old Bay seasoning ½ cup whole fresh or frozen cranberries
Parsley, for garnish salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Wash and dry Cornish hens. Stuff rosemary sprigs in cavity of each hen, then tie legs together with kitchen string. Spray hens with no-stick, then sprinkle with poultry seasoning and Old Bay.

Roast at 350 for about 1 ¼ hours. After the first 20-30 minutes, baste occasionally with pan drippings. If pan is dry, add a little water. Cook until hens are nicely browned and crisp. Remove a heated platter. Remove browned rosemary sprigs and replace with fresh ones. Cover loosely with foil to keep warm.

Add flour to drippings in pan. Cook, stirring until fat and flour are starting to brown. Add stock, port wine, and cranberries. Bring to a boil and cook until thickened. Taste and if needed, add additional salt and pepper to taste.

Serve Cornish Hens on platter surrounded with cooked baby carrots, tossed in a bit of butter and sprinkled with nutmeg. Add sprigs of parsley here and there and a streak of gravy over the breast of each Cornish hen. Toss a few of the cranberries from the gravy over the carrots for color. Serve Cornish hens with sauce on side.

Good with Brown Rice, topped wit

Chocolate Truffle Tart

Guest recipe by Eileen Goudge
Author of Something Warm From Oven

Makes an 11 - inch tart.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Lightly grease an 11 - inch tart pan with a removable rim.

3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2sticks) cold unsalted butter
1 pound bittersweet or semisweet chocolate
1/2 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon Kahlua, or other coffee-flavored liqueur

Place the flour, confectioner's sugar, cocoa, cinnamon, and salt in a food processor and whir to combine.  Add 1/2 cup of the butter, cut into chunks; pulse until well blended.  Distribute evenly over the tart pan, then press firmly over the bottom and sides, starting with the sides and ending with the bottom.  Bake in the oven for 15 to 18 minutes, until the crust begins to pull away from rim.  Set aside to cool while you prepare the filling.

In a medium microwave-safe bowl, place half the chocolate and the remaining butter.  Heat in the microwave, covered, for 30 seconds at a time, stirring after each interval, until melted (about 1 1/2 minutes total).  Stir in the granulated sugar.  Set aside to cool for a few minutes.  Add the beaten eggs, and blend with an electric mixer on low speed until smooth.  Finely chop the remaining chocolate, and stir into melted chocolate mixture along with Kahlua.

Pour into the partially baked crust, and bake in the oven until edges are set and center jiggles slightly when the pan is gently shaken, about 20 minutes.  Let cool thoroughly, at least two hours, before removing the rim.  Lightly dust with confectioner's sugar or unsweetened cocoa before serving.

Chilled Asparagus with Lemon Sauce

Guest recipe by Linda De Villers, PhD
Author of Simple Sexy Food: 101 Tasty Aphrodisiac Recipes and Sensual Tips to Stir Your Libido and Feed Your L (

This recipe needs just a few simple ingredients and a deft hand. Egg yolk and lemon complement the taste of the asparagus.

SEXY FOODS: asparagus, egg

Ingredients

1 1/2 pounds asparagus, tough ends removed, spears tied in a bundle
1 tablespoon cornstarch
2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
Salt to taste
1/4 teaspoon sugar, optional

Instructions

1. Set up a large bowl half full of ice and cold water.
2. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil and cook the bundled asparagus until just tender-crisp, 5 to 7 minutes.
3. Drain the asparagus, reserving 1 scant cup of the cooking liquid. Immediately immerse the asparagus in the ice bath to arrest further cooking. Drain the asparagus and set aside.
4. In a small saucepan, mix the cornstarch with a tablespoon or two of the reserved cooking liquid and blend well. Stir in the remaining cooking liquid and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Reduce the heat to low and cook until the sauce thickens slightly. Remove from heat and allow
to cool slightly.
5. In a small bowl, beat the egg yolks thoroughly with the lemon juice then gradually stir into the cooled sauce.
6. Cook the sauce over very low heat, stirring constantly, until fairly thick. Be careful not to overheat the sauce or it may curdle. When thickened, remove from heat and continue
stirring for 1 minute.
7. Season to taste with salt, and if you prefer a slightly less tangy sauce, stir in the sugar. Allow the sauce to cool slightly.
8. Stir the cooled sauce and drizzle a little over the cooked asparagus. Cover the asparagus and remaining sauce separately and refrigerate both for at least 2 hours.
9. To serve, attractively arrange asparagus on individual plates and serve the lemon sauce alongside.

Simple Sexy Kitchen Tip: There’s an old Roman saying, “As quick as cooking asparagus,” meaning something accomplished rapidly. And you’ve got to appreciate its prolific growth: Some will grow 10” per day and must be harvested twice a day! Hey honey, about we cook up some asparagus over our lunch hour, and then again for dinner?

Survey Secrets Quote: “My sexiest food experience was being hand fed asparagus by a tall, thin naked lady. Wow! That sounds almost bisexual.”