Sustaining Your Real Estate Over Time

Guest blog by Lisa Vander
Author of The Real Guide to Making Millions Through Real Estate: Start Your Portfolio With as Little as $3000

The number one problem I see with investors today is their unrealistic expectations of how real estate really functions. They are unfamiliar with the real estate market especially when it decreases in value and does not appreciate at the tremendous rates that have been seen recently in some parts of the country. 

People react to what they have most recently experienced. For the past several years, Southern California has experienced incredible market increases, sometimes 25% gains in property values in one year. It can not be emphasized enough how this is not standard and is not how long-term investors should be calculating their numbers. 

Long-term investors need to be realistic and conservative in how they approach maintaining and sustaining their investment portfolios in the good times, as well as the bad times. Real estate gains will be experienced for a period of time and then immediately followed by times of losses up to 20-30%. These gains have historically outperformed the losses, but investors who keep and sustain their properties during these cycles are those who win in the long run. When you are a long time investor, you will experience some of the wins in the market and some of the losses. 

Smart investors want to be able to learn to sustain the property in both markets. Here a few tips to help investors stay in the real estate during the changing markets:

1. Rental Rates will drop: Be prepared to sustain your properties with a rental rate decrease of about 10-15%. They will typically not decrease by anymore than that amount. Ask a local property management company that has been working in the area for at least ten years about what the historical trends have been when the market is depressed.

2. Prices and Value will drop: Most of the time real estate values for single family residences and condos will decrease no more than 20% to 30% in any market adjustment. Multiple unit properties and land have historically experienced greater drops in value, sometimes up to 40% to 50% decreases. Remember, however, that rents don’t decrease much, so you should only worry if you plan to sell your investment during this downturn of the market.

3. Increased Vacancy Rates: When real estate decreases in value, usually the whole economy is going through a rough time. This means that unemployment rates have increased and people are looking for work. When people are looking for work, they do not usually move around. They are more likely to stay where they are at or move in with family or relatives (i.e. leaving an existing home vacant). It is more common for children to stay in their parents’ homes for longer periods of time than they want due to financial constraints. Young families also feel the financial pinch and tend to stay in smaller housing units than is comfortable because money is tight. 

This is why vacancy rates increase during market recessions. The number of people who stay in each rental units increases during these downturns in the real estate market. Vacancy rates do not increase over 10% to 15%, even in bad markets.

4. Increase in Mortgage Interest Rates: Be prepared for interest rates increasing. Look at the terms of the note that you signed with the bank when you originated the loan. In the terms are some parameters that will tell you the maximum the loan can adjust to and the amount per year it can increase in your mortgage payment. These numbers are essential for you to know so you can plan for the worst case scenarios when markets really adjust.

How To Be Prepared For Market Drops

There are several key action steps investors can make to help sustain their investment real estate during all real estate market adjustments and conditions. 

1. Take Out Equity Line on Primary Residence to help augment mortgage payments when the rental income decreases during declining markets. Set up an equity line when the market is healthy and you have a good paying job and good credit. Right now also happens to be a good time to establish low interest rates.

2. Alternatives For Profitability.  These alternatives are crucial when you have either lost your job or you are experiencing a loss of rental income by higher vacancies. Take some immediate actions to make the rental units more attractive to your tenants like new paint, carpet and landscaping. These improvements mean a lot to tenants and if they feel like they are treated fairly, they are less likely to move. It is also important to attend to repair items immediately. This decreases tenant complaints and increases their willingness to stay and encourage others to move into the property with them.

3. Decrease Rental Rates Slowly When Needed. If the local rental rates are dropping then you need to pay attention and drop your rental rates as well. But drop them slowly. You don’t need to drop your rates as aggressively if you keep your tenants happy. Work hard at pleasing your current tenants so that you will not have to drop the rates to attract new tenants. Smart investors sometimes offer incentives like grocery coupons to tenants if they have a friend or family member move into the complex. These gifts go far in saving you money in the long run.

Stage® Your Listings to Make More Money

Guest blog by Barb Schwarz
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog

How do we get sellers to prepare their property without offending them and encountering resistance? Educate the seller. Let the sellers know that this is part of the total service that you provide and a necessary part of the marketing process.

Begin this education process with your very first contact with potential sellers -on the phone or in person. A phrase that I find successful is, "Let me tell you how I work," followed by a quick recitation of the service I provide in the listing and marketing of their property. I let them know I want to see the property and get to know them.

Second, I put together a two-part listing presentation which included an exclusive marketing program with details on how their property fits into today's market in price and terms.
Then I add information on an extra-special free service. With permission, we go through the home together room by room, for staging recommendations.

By starting this dialogue with sellers as soon as you meet them, not only do they get an overview of your services, but they also know that staging their home and helping them prepare the property is an extra service that you provide for your sellers.

At the first visit, I always have the sellers show me through the property. At that time I start to see the property both through my eyes and through the potential buyer's eyes. I follow along as the sellers explain improvements they've made and special things they have enjoyed.
As we go through, I comment on each room and build rapport, while I mentally stage each room. I think about what I will ask the seller to move, repair, etc., when we do the staging after completing the exclusive listing agreement. Never stage the property the first time through. Complete the educational process and have the sellers' commitment in writing first.
It is important during the listing presentation to once again point out your special service. Get their commitment verbally to do this. Take all the time you need to explain to that seller how staging will help potential purchasers mentally move in, then ask the sellers point blank, "Do I have your commitment to help you stage your property after we complete the paperwork bringing you on the market?"

When I have educated the sellers about the importance of staging their home, they always agree.

With the paperwork finished, it's time for staging. The primary areas of concerns are the "three C's" -clean, color and clutter.

To ease into the process, say, "The way you live in a home and the way you market and sell your home are two different things. Now the public will be coming through."

Also explain that because they have entrusted you with representing them, they know you'll be selling their home. And since they will be moving as soon as the house is sold, you suggest that begin packing certain items early.

In each room, look for any extras that should be put away. You, the agent, are like a movie director setting the scene for the purchaser to view. As you direct you sellers to the items that need to be packed up and put away, have them make a pile in the middle of the room to be packed when you are gone. 

Remind sellers to always close their closets. The open closet will be the first thing a prospect will see, missing the rest of the room.

I take my foot and intentionally stub my toe on the little rug. I want the sellers to think of the safety of strangers touring their home. "What if someone falls?" I ask. The little rug is easily rolled up and left under the bed.

Blinds should always be left open to flood the room with sunlight. The only exception is a window with an exceptionally bad view. In that case, the blinds should be open but slightly tipped down. There will be a light, but the view won't detract. Also, check the slats in the blinds. If some are bent, have the seller repair them.

Magazines should be quickly slipped under the bed to be accessible for evening reading but out of sight for tours.

Crucial rooms are the living room, the kitchen and the master bedroom, but take time to go through every single room in the house and stage it. Then move outside and go around the exterior.

I commit about an hour for staging. This is a small amount of time compared to the value both you and seller will receive in shorter listing time and larger selling price.

We owe it to our sellers to stage the properties, but we also owe it to ourselves. Your listings will look better than ever, sell faster, and be more profitable.
 

Open House Success

Guest blog by Barbara Kavovit
Author of Invest in Your Nest: Add Style, Comfort, and Value to Your Home

An open house creates excitement and lets a lot of people view the property at once. Even if your neighbors who have no intention of buying come by (and this will happen), they may have friends and friends of friends who are interested in buying a house -- and if they like what they see, they will spread the word. Make sure your open house is a success by:

• Placing your house brochure in conspicuous locations around the house
• Replacing light bulbs with bulbs of the highest wattage the fixtures will allow and turning on all the lights -- bright houses are more appealing than dark ones
• Keeping draperies and window coverings open
• Placing a bowl of fresh fruit such as apples or lemons and limes on the kitchen island or table
• Making sure the bathroom towels are clean (or new), beautifully folded, and stacked or hung
• Setting your dining room or kitchen table for a meal with your prettiest china and best linen napkins
• Storing accumulated mail out of sight and tossing old newspapers and magazines
• Cleaning out the fireplace and stacking new logs; if it's cold outside, build a fire
• Turning off the TV and softly playing jazz or classical music
• Grinding up a fresh lemon or orange in the garbage disposal or simmering some cinnamon and cloves in a pot of water on the stove
• Locking up or securely storing small valuables
• Keeping pets securely penned or contained so they don't frighten buyers or escape during a viewing

Know Your Credit Score

Guest blog by Barbara Kavovit
Author of Invest in Your Nest: Add Style, Comfort, and Value to Your Home

The most important part of qualifying for a mortgage isn't how much of a down payment you can make, it's how good your credit score is. The better your credit, the more easily you can secure a mortgage loan, even without a fat bank account or a high-paying job. The first and most important action you should take is to get your credit report from each of the three major credit bureaus, Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion. You have to get all three reports because the companies and utilities that extend you credit don't report to all three bureaus. The result is that each consumer has three credit reports with three different sets of information. You can access the reports for free at least once a year. If you find errors and report them (see below for details), you can get a revised report for free.

Your credit score is based on the information in the credit report. In the simplest terms, the score indicates how likely you will be to pay back a loan in full and on time. According to Steven Burman, president of Credit Advocates and an expert credit counselor, it reflects your credit history, how much debt you currently carry (called outstanding debt), how much debt you're already approved to carry in the future (add up the credit limits on your credit cards for the answer), how long your credit history is, and how timely you are in paying bills. The higher the number, the better your credit is, ranging from a low of 300 to a perfect score of 850. Do everything you can to improve your score -- it's even more important than saving money, in my opinion! Why? Because the higher your score, the better the interest rate you will get. If you have a very high score, you may even be able to buy a house with no money down.

Improve Your Credit Rating
Steve says that you have to take personal responsibility for your credit, and I agree. The first time many people see their credit reports is when they are about to purchase a home or a car. Because it can take about 3 months (and sometimes much longer) to change a credit score, if the score is wrong or low at that time, it could be too late to fix it. You could lose that fabulous apartment! Don't let that happen -- start changing your score today. Here are six proven ways to improve your score:

1. Check and correct your credit history
Thirty-five percent of your score comes from your credit history, according to Steve. Unfortunately, 70 percent of credit reports contain errors -- mistakes that can adversely impact your score! Mistakes range from the misspelling of names, to reporting wrong addresses or places of employment, to confusing the accounts of people with the same name, to including outdated information. You can and should report errors to each of the credit bureaus since they do not share information. You can file disputes by phone or by mail, but you may find that it is most convenient to dispute errors online. Once the credit bureaus receive a dispute, they have 30 days to investigate. If they cannot verify the information in that time, it is deleted or corrected by default. Once you dispute information, the onus is on them to prove it. If your payment was late once or twice and the creditor reported it to the credit bureau, you can ask the retailer or credit card company to issue a letter of correction. For example, many retail stores would prefer to keep your business by issuing a correction than lose it by refusing to. Always follow up on promised corrections by rechecking your credit report. If some of the accounts on your report are old and closed, tell the credit bureau that you don't recognize them. They will investigate, find that you are not a customer, and remove them. It's best if your credit report lists only active accounts. Even when some of the accounts are closed, having dozens of them may make lenders assume that you are not a stable credit risk.

2. Pay down high balances
The amounts you owe on revolving credit accounts are responsible for 30 percent of your score. Steve says the fastest way to improve your credit rating is to pay down balances. After he advised one client to use all of his available cash to pay down his credit card bills, the client's credit score went up by 100 points. Keep revolving credit accounts under 30 percent of the available limit. For example, if your credit card limit is $10,000, keep the balance under $3,000. High balances adversely affect credit ratings. Plus, credit card debt is expensive to carry. Some cards charge up to 24 percent interest on unpaid balances. Are the designer jeans and fur jacket really worth that? Pay off your credit cards! You can also negotiate with your credit card company to reduce or eliminate interest charges and sometimes even reduce what you owe.

3. Make history with your credit
It's good to have some activity and history on the account. "Many people think closing accounts will make their credit look better, but it depends," says Steve. "Look at the accounts you are closing and keep the oldest one. Length of credit history counts for 15 percent of your total score."

4. Think twice about new credit
When you open a new credit card account, the creditor makes an inquiry to one of the credit bureaus to evaluate your history. The number of recently opened accounts and credit inquiries accounts for 10 percent of your score. (Note that checking your own credit report doesn't count as an inquiry, however.) "If you start applying for loans at an auto dealership or a bank and each one does an inquiry, it's a negative," says Steve. When a store sends you a sales pitch saying you're preapproved for credit, resist the temptation to fill out the application form. One credit card is all you really need. At any rate, closing an account doesn't mean it automatically disappears from your credit report. You have to ask them to remove it. Better yet . . . 

5. Pay with cash
Using debit cards and cash are good ways to control your debt (and therefore maintain a great credit score).

6. Pay all your bills on time
Late payments can have a substantial negative impact on your score. For example, you can raise your score by as much as 20 points simply by paying bills on time for 1 month!

For more information on improving your credit rating, visit the Federal Trade Commission's credit repair page at www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/credit/repair.htm. To dispute information in a credit report, here is how to contact the credit bureaus:

Equifax Information Services, LLC
Disclosure Department
PO Box 740241
Atlanta, GA 30374
800-685-1111
www.equifax.com

Experian
475 Anton Boulevard
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
or
955 American Lane
Schaumburg, IL 60173
888-397-3742
www.experian.com

TransUnion LLC
PO Box 1000
Chester, PA 19022
800-888-4213
www.transunion.com

Annual Credit Report Request Service
PO Box 105281
Atlanta, GA 30348-5281
877-322-8228
www.annualcreditreport.com

Annualcreditreport.com is the official site that helps consumers obtain the free credit reports they are entitled to annually, as required by law.

De-Cluttering Debunked

Guest blog by Brooke Stone
www.brookestonelifestylemanagement.com

Look around. Do you have stuff everywhere? Most people do, don't be embarrassed. Look around again, take it all in. Don't you deserve better? Isn't it time to live and work in spaces that support you, instead of inhibit you? Clutter is not just a mess, it stands directly in the way of personal productivity and peace of mind. And don't you deserve to be productive and have peace of mind?! Yes. Yes, you do. 

Now that we are in agreement, lets get one thing straight. Spring cleaning is a handy fad, but living clutter free is for every season and does not require a Container Store holiday to bring into focus. It all begins with understanding you deserve better for yourself, and internalizing the fact that a visually and practically organized space will afford you the calm you need to work or play. 

Ready? Ok. The first step is to de-clutter your cluttered spaces one by one. Star with your desk, or your living room, it doesn’t matter where you start as long as you do start! Begin by organizing all of the clutter into piles of like items. Toys with toys, papers to file with papers to file, etc. Make a separate pile for things that go other places than the place you are organizing. Throw away all of the trash. 

Now, put away the piles of things that actually live in the space you are organizing, file away the papers, and put the things that go other places, in their other places. Rinse and repeat in each area of your home.

The bad news? This can take a while depending on what you are dealing with, but trust me, it's worth it. The good news? You only have to do this once if you can commit to the maintenance plan coming up next. 

Ok, so your house is now (almost) perfectly de-cluttered and organized. Now, all you have to do to remain committed to living clutter free (remember, you are so worth it!) is spare 10 minutes every night before bed and pick up the debris from the day. 

Do one room at a time, just like round one above. I usually start in the room farthest from my bedroom, and work down the hall with collapsing into bed being the prize for this daily diligence. Pick up the things. Put them where they go. It’s pretty simple, but requires a real dedication to those 10 minutes each night. You can do it though. You are very worth it. Waking up and making your coffee in a de-cluttered kitchen is all the thanks you will need, promise. 

Once you commit to this little plan, a crazy thing starts to happen, beside you being able to actually find the things you need. You begin holding others who use or live in your space more accountable. You know those 10 minutes each night could be 5 if your partner or kids learned to pick up after themselves. You start requiring them to do just that, and are setting a great example by modeling clutter free behaviors. 

Sooner or later, your 10 minutes becomes 5 and your clutter becomes a distant (bad) dream. And, just like most things that stick, building commitment to these new habits begins with the simple reminder that you deserve better and can make it happen for yourself. 

Grow The Space You Have

Guest blog by Barbara Kavovit
Author of Invest in Your Nest: Add Style, Comfort, and Value to Your Home

Transforing existing raw space into an extra bedroom, a playroom, or a guest or master suite is an affordable way to make your house bigger. You can also winterize an unheated sunroom or porch to transform a two- or three-season room into a year-round retreat. You can transform a two-bedroom, two-bath house into a "new" three-bedroom, three-bathroom house just by making your unused space livable!

Be Your Own Project Manager
Finishing the existing raw space in your home for livability requires the help of specialists in several trades: plumbing, carpentry, electrical, and others, including flooring and possibly stoneworking for tile work. So while it's not a do-it-yourself job, you can manage the project yourself and become your own general contractor. That way, you'll save money and choose and work with the tradespeople whom you really like. Managing the project gives you tremendous control over personnel, quality control, and finishes. You're the boss! Here are the basic steps you'll want to follow:

Set aside some time
Expect to spend from 1 to several hours a day for several months dealing with some aspect of the renovation. Managing the transformation of any space in your home does not require you to be on-site every minute, but you do have to check in often, inspect the work as it progresses, pay bills, consult with the tradespeople who are on the site, coordinate with and schedule the tradespeople who need to come in, make sure the site is organized safely and in a way that protects workers (and therefore your liability), monitor rubbish removal, and troubleshoot.

Determine your budget 
Every decision you make flows from your budget, from how much to spend on flooring to how fancy you want your bathroom fixtures to be.

Decide how you want to use the space 
Will it be an extra bedroom and bath, a family room, or a children's playroom? The function will help inform many of the finishes you choose. For example, a children's playroom may benefit from a hardwood floor partially covered by a large rug. How elaborate do you want the bathroom to be? If you are transforming a space into a master suite, the bathroom should have double vanities and a glass enclosure for the shower, which should have extra wall and overhead showerheads.

Gather the right professionals 
Several professionals are involved in an addition project. They include:

Architect
Carpenter and/or drywall contractor
Flooring contractor
Licensed electrician
HVAC specialist
Licensed plumber
Window supplier/installer

As project manager, you coordinate the work, schedule, and budget. Jobs need to be completed in a particular order. Follow this general timeline:

Prepare the floor
Check the condition of the existing subfloor and floor joists. If you are finishing a basement, you must inspect the condition of its floor. Most basements have poured concrete floors, and sometimes they slope steeply for drainage purposes. If that's the case, the floor must be leveled before proceeding with the work. A handyperson or contractor should pour a thin concrete overlay to level it. Be sure that access to any existing floor drains is maintained! Drains need to stay functional in case of basement flooding. Check with a plumber to find out if you will be required to periodically pour water in them to prevent sewer gas from building up.

Install any necessary HVAC systems
Ductwork is cumbersome. In basements, where ceiling height is always a consideration, soffits may be required to cover up any vents running overhead, which can lower the ceiling. Basements are usually cool and may not require air-conditioning systems. They do require heating, however. Be sure the HVAC specialist locates supply ducts near outside walls. Install return air ducts on interior walls or ceilings away from the supply ducts. The idea is to "draw" air across the room. Particular attention must be paid to ventilating, heating, and cooling attic rooms.

Install plumbing
You can solve plumbing issues in other parts of your house at this time, too, if necessary. If the existing drain stacks in the house are made from PVC, they need to be wrapped with insulation to minimize sound transmission. Cold-water lines may need to be insulated if you have had problems in the past with condensation, because it may drip onto your new ceiling. Have the plumber rough in bathroom plumbing so he or she can come back later to install the fixtures. Rough plumbing is all the plumbing components that need to be installed before the finish tradespeople (drywall contractor, painter, and so on) come in to do their jobs, including the waste and supply water lines that are in the walls or framing of the building. Ask the plumber to use ½-inch or 1-inch lines instead of the more common ¼-inch lines in the bathroom for extra water pressure.

Have necessary electrical work done
All electrical work must be done in compliance with the National Electrical Code or the code adopted by your community. Don't skimp on the electrical system. Make a list of everything you intend to use in the room (appliances, light fixtures, electronic equipment, and so on) so the electrician can calculate the required load and make sure you have enough circuits. He or she can rough in wiring for ceiling fixtures at this time and come back to install the fixtures when the drywall or drop ceiling has been installed. Think ahead. Make sure you can access the main electrical service panel and telephone and cable TV termination points. Ask the electrician to install conduits through which additional wires can be run at a later date. Don't forget about wiring the space for surround sound.

Install cable and phone lines
Call your service companies and schedule a time for them to add new telephone, data, and cable wiring. Be sure to have them add extra phone and data lines now, even if you don't plan on using them all right away. Adding them later on is more expensive. 

Build and insulate the walls
A carpenter can install 2 x 4-inch studs if they aren't already there, as well as a variety of thermal insulation materials, from traditional soft batting to rigid foil-faced sheets to blown-in insulation. He or she should be able to advise you on what is recommended for your geographic region and application. 

Install walls
You can choose one of several types of wallboard or paneling. I prefer drywall because it gives you the most flexibility and doesn't scream "finished basement" the way paneling does. Plus, you can always apply bead-board wainscoting, faux finishes, wallpaper, or other treatments over drywall at a later date.

Install the ceiling
I prefer drywall ceilings, but I admit that the ubiquitous and industrial-looking acoustical tile or drop ceiling has come a long way. It now comes in a variety of styles, from bead board to decorative embossed styles that look like old-fashioned tin ceilings. The advantages of installing a drop ceiling are that it creates an accessible tray for ductwork and wiring and if one tile gets damaged, it's easy to replace (buy 10 percent more than you need for coverage). The disadvantages are that it lowers the ceiling height, which might be at a premium in your attic or basement. For drywall ceiling, the drywall contractor or carpenter builds soffits around any ductwork. That means that making a drywall ceiling takes extra work and is therefore somewhat more expensive than a drop ceiling, but the ceiling will be lower only in the areas where ductwork exists and headroom is maximized everywhere else.

Install the floor 
I love hardwood, as you know. If you happen to be finishing a basement-level room, however, think twice before choosing hardwood flooring. Hardwood flooring trade associations and manufacturers caution against using traditional hardwood below ground level, even in very dry basements. Instead, consider engineered hardwood click flooring, laminates, tile, or carpeting. If you are worried about wet floors or insect infestation, install treated or marine plywood as a subfloor before proceeding with the final finish.

Install final fixtures
Have the plumber and electrician return to install the permanent bathroom and electrical fixtures.

Paint trim and walls
Furnish your new rooms and enjoy them!

The Difference Now

Guest blog by  Cherie Burbach
Author of The Difference Now

The difference now
is when pushed
I push back.

The difference now
is when I'm hurt
I'll cry
openly
unashamed.
Why should I hide it?
Or pretend that I don't care?
You know you hurt me.
My pretending only helped you,
not me.

The difference now
is that I'll fight for the life
I want to live
and not the one
you think I should live.

The difference now
is that I make the definitions
and throw yours away.

The difference now
is when I walk in a room
and you guiltily look at each other
and stop talking
I'll wonder who you'll blame
for the problems in your life
after I move on.

The difference now
is that when you're laughing
behind my back
I realize I must be ahead of you
and I'll keep going. 

Read the Label

Guest blog by  Cherie Burbach
Author of The Difference Now

You gave me a dress
but it was too small.
I looked at the label
and it said "unfeeling and ungrateful."

When I told you it didn't quite fit
you suggested I lose weight.
I ate what you prepared
and when the dress you bought me
still didn't fit,
I stopped eating.

Now the skirt slid over my hips
but I still felt uncomfortable.
I realized it was the wrong color and style. 
You said
since I was good
and lost weight
you'd buy me a new one.
But I couldn't go with you
or make the choice myself.
You'd pick out my new clothes
and if I didn't like them
I could go entirely without.

The new skirt's label
said "lazy and stupid."
I didn't want to try it on
but you made me.
And I didn't protest
I didn't want to argue
or give you the impression
that I wasn't a nice girl.

So I put on the new skirt.
It was short, and tight.
You said it looked good
that it fit me perfectly.
So I tried to be happy
and be what you wanted me to be.

You told me girls were quiet
they didn't talk back. 
So I held my tongue
even though I disagreed with you.
But then you told me I didn't talk enough
that I was stupid
and slow.

So I tried to show you I was smart.
I had a mind of my own.

But when I told you my dreams
you shoved me down.
You told me no one would ever want me
and I would always be alone.
And then you gave me a new skirt to wear.

This skirt's label read
"difficult and unlovable."
I put on my new skirt
but cried softly in my room.
I wore that skirt for a long time
even when I had outgrown it
I still told myself that it fit.

Every once in a while
someone would ask
why I wore that skirt.
They would tell me it didn't fit,
and I should get a new one.
But I didn't want to upset you
so I chased them away
from my life.

But one day
I walked past a store window
and saw a beautiful blue skirt
long and flowing.
I walked in the store
and tried it on.

"It looks good on you," 
the salesclerk said
as I spun around in front of the mirror.
I felt good, real, beautiful.
I read the label,
"passionate and honest."
"It really is you," the clerk said again.
And for the first time
I believed it.

"I'll take it," I said, 
and handed her the money.
"In fact," I said, "I'll wear it out of the store."

I handed the clerk my old skirt
and told her I didn't want it anymore.
As I walked out
I looked at the mirror one more time,
and smiled.

Like Old Men in Rocking Chairs

Guest blog by Cherie Burbach
Author of The Difference Now

Angry words
framed the doorway
of the house where I grew up.
And there was no way to enter
without those words, 
tainted and searing,
landing upon your soul.

They evaporated
into your skin
and you couldn't wash them away
or cover them
with the fragrance of kindness.

They embedded each cell
of your heart and mind
and shaped the person you saw
when you looked into the mirror.
And the tears
that tried to wash them away
only made them grow.

And when I thought
they had left me,
they were really sitting in the corner
like old men in rocking chairs
watching, waiting,
until happiness fades
and they can say
I told you so.



With Every Breath

With every breath
the example of his life
fills my eyes and ears

it is
behind every action
ahead
of every decision
it waits
around every corner
it lights
up the sky
in the morning
and
puts me to bed at night.

It fills my lungs
it guides my life
it weighs in on every decision.

I breathe in
the progress of today
the promise of tomorrow
my life transformed
my greatest lesson.

I breathe out
the self-doubt
the anger
the isolation
the pain.

With every breath,
I live.

I'm Not That Girl

Guest blog by  Cherie Burbach
Author of The Difference Now

I'm not that girl
the one you knew.

Who smiled when I hurt
and slapped away your kind hands.

I'm not that girl
who'd rather self-destruct
than ask for help.
I'm not her.
Not anymore.

I'm not that girl
who chased sorrow
and ran away from everything good.

I'm not that girl
you thought you knew.
But no one did.
Not even me. 

Warning Signs: Passing the turkey and the torch. What to look for when you go home for the Holidays.

Guest blog by Jody Gasfriends,VP Senior Care, Care.com

As the holidays approach, I want to share a story with you. It’s the story of a friend of mine, Noreen*-a typical sandwich-generation mom and daughter who had many people and priorities to juggle. But it was at Thanksgiving last year when she realized something needed to change. 

Noreen left home for college 30 years ago. After graduation, she got married, had two sons, and settled into a life in a small town north of Boston. But her roots, along with her aging parents, were still in Western Massachusetts. Among her three siblings, Noreen lived the closest to her folks and was the most worried. Her brother, Tom lived on the west coast and typically chalked up Mom’s forgetfulness and Dad’s driving mishaps as part of getting older. Pam, the youngest, had her hands full with a rebellious teenager and a recent divorce. She had no room on her plate to worry about Mom and Dad. 

So, as Noreen drove – or crawled -- along the highway last Thanksgiving, she wistfully remembered Thanksgivings past. Mom’s famous pecan chocolate chip pie, Dad’s careful carving of the turkey and the children’s delight at watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade in their pajamas seemed like scenes out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Noreen also recalled the fractious squabbles that sometimes erupted amidst the merriment. Those tensions seemed far less weighty than the anxiety she now felt about her parent’s safety and welfare, and her siblings’ apparent dismissal of her fears. 

Arriving at her parents’ home, Noreen couldn’t help but stare at the peeling paint and the unkempt lawn. Years ago, she suggested her folks sell the house and find a place to live that was more senior-friendly. Dispelling her concerns, Noreen’s parents quickly dismissed the idea. Noreen, unsupported by her siblings, let the issue drop. Now, she regretted that decision. She opened the front door and got a whiff of something burnt. Turns out it was the turkey. Noreen’s mother was apologetic. She had gotten distracted by the excitement of the holiday. Tom and Pam were busy ordering take out Chinese food and seemed un-phased by the Thanksgiving turkey that had already been tossed. Mom had always been a consummate cook. Now, no one seemed to care that she ruined the holiday meal centerpiece. Noreen also worried about her Dad who seemed unsteady and frail. She asked how he was feeling and he replied “under the weather” but hadn’t seen the doctor in months. As the day progressed, Noreen grew increasingly more concerned. She saw a stack of bills on the kitchen counter, some of them dating back months. She observed Mom forgetting simple things and got frazzled easily. While Noreen did not want to worry excessively or make a scene, things seemed out of sorts and she could no longer pretend otherwise.

Holidays are a time when emotions get stirred up. Like Thanksgiving cranberry sauce and stuffing, our emotions are a mixture of ingredients: Excitement, joy, sadness and stress can all be part of the family recipe. Many adult children, like Noreen, must face a changing reality and confront their own anxiety and grief as their parents lose their strength and independence. These changes are often more prominent around holiday time, particularly for adult children who live at a distance. It is easy to overreact when we see, as Noreen did, bills piling up or a home not properly cared for. At the same time, it is important to differentiate changes in behavior. A newfound tendency to let the house go a bit can be part of normal aging, or it can represent illness and decline. When I later met Noreen for coffee, she told me she worried that the burnt turkey was an ominous sign. I assured her that one burnt turkey does not foreshadow disaster, but a pattern of uncharacteristic behaviors, is more of a concern. 

Holidays can be incredibly stressful. In the midst of all the activity and eating, they can also provide an opportunity to observe our parents as they age. So this season, here is what to look for to determine if your worries are justified and whether there are real concerns about your parent’s wellbeing and safety that need to be addressed. 

• Change in eating habits/weight loss
• Forgetfulness-out of the ordinary
• Neglected personal hygiene and cleanliness
• Decrease in socialization and activity level
• Significant mood changes
• Unexplained dents in the car
• Misuse of prescribed medications
• Mishandling finances

Like Noreen, so many adult children feel they shoulder the burden of worry on their own. Getting siblings on the same page, whenever possible is a good place to start. Sharing perspectives on Mom’s increasing forgetfulness or Dad’s unsteady gait can shed new light on your understanding of the problem. Has it been an ongoing progressive decline or an intermittent reaction to stress or illness? Gathering information, as objectively as possible is the first step toward being an effective caregiver. Unlike Noreen, you don’t have to go it alone. Getting the support and information you need early on can help you navigate the unexpected twists and turns along the caregiving journey.
 

The MAGIC Remedy

Guest blog by Dr. Natasha Valdez
Author of Vitamin O: Why Orgasms are Vital to a Woman's Health and Happiness, and How to Have Them Every Time!

There’s a pretty popular saying that “love is a drug”—and people also often think that sex is just that, especially good sex. But that’s definitely not where we’re going here. Because there’s a huge difference between what a drug does for you and what a vitamin has to offer. 

Whether prescribed or recreational, a drug treats a symptom. It alters things for a limited time, and then there’s a crash—and another dose is needed immediately. There may also be unwanted side effects. Now a vitamin, on the other hand, takes a more holistic approach to a situation. You don’t treat a symptom with a vitamin; you use it to help build a foundation of good health. A vitamin is essentially a supplement in a much larger system of smart choices, an important element within a larger context. A vitamin enhances. Its benefits are layered and far-reaching, not just a zapping of a targeted pain or other element. 

Especially in the case of Vitamin O, it’s something you can take as much as you want to take, without any worry of toxicity or buildup in your system—because Vitamin O is all about release. Add regular doses of Vitamin O to your regimen, and the results will benefit you for life. As the proven healing and revitalizing power of sex and orgasm is revealed, we’ll see without a doubt how orgasm is indeed the “magic remedy” to heal and restore us, and to build a foundation for better overall health. 

Forget Echinacea. Did you know that having sex just once a week can boost your immunity by 30 percent? Imagine the benefits of getting down and dirty three, or even five times a week! We all get rundown from time to time. But turning the situation around is easy. There’s absolutely no reason to suffering any of this when the solution is as easy as taking a daily dose of vitamins! Here’s why: 

Sex burns calories—about 100 for an average 30-minute session. That’s actually more than tennis! And when you “work out” in all the right positions, think about how successfully you can tone your tummy, thighs, and even your tush. 

Studies have proven time and again that having regular sex boosts the body’s production of essential hormones like phenylethylamine which speeds the metabolism of fat. On top of that, it also curbs those killer cravings for crazy foods you know you should not be eating. It regulates your appetite so you don’t feel hungry when you’re not. And if you’re overeating because you’re bored, I’d say sex is more fun than a sandwich or sundae, any way you stack it.

Another hormone that gets released in your system when you have a good release is dehydroepiandrosterone, which is purportedly an anti-aging “potion.” Its production has been noted to promote more supple skin, meaning bye, bye crow’s feet! It is also currently being studied as a substance that possibly combats depression and eases symptoms associated with menopause.

One of the more interesting studies was done on body fat. Researchers at the Washington University School of medicine found that women who were given supplements of dehydroepiandrosterone lost 10.2 percent of their body fat. Great! But you don’t have to pop pills to get what you can have a lot more fun making. O is the kind of vitamin that’s just as beneficial to make as it is to take!

Regular sex also releases serotonin, a neurotransmitter that, tying in with the above, is believed to quell junk food cravings. But it’s bigger than that. There’s a whole wealth of studies that credit the production of serotonin with a decrease in depression—or, more like it, a lack of serotonin leads to depression. Why? As a neurotransmitter, serotonin hits various receptors that regulate emotions; when there isn’t enough serotonin hitting these receptors, depression, anxiety, panic, and other unpleasant emotions result. 

Anything that helps release this substance into your system is a good thing. Diet and exercise can play a role, but neither of these has a direct line to serotonin release like having an orgasm does. 

So we’ve seen how regular sex and orgasms can help make you thin, young, and happy. Now let’s look at how it can make you healthy.

To ward off colds, we swallow huge amounts of orange juice and other fluids. We dose up on echinacea and zinc. And if, God forbid, we do get sick, we bloat ourselves with chicken soup, and then stumble around as we drug ourselves up and dry ourselves out on anything from over the counter that promises relief. And to think we could save ourselves all this grief by just allowing ourselves to have regular orgasms!

Studies have now uncovered that having frequent orgasms actually raises levels of the antigen immunoglobulin A in our systems, the antibody expressly responsible for fighting off colds and flu. In fact, women who engage in regular sexual activity have been found to have one-third higher levels of immunoglobulin A. What would you rather have, sex or a flu shot? Think about it!

And think about this, the other side of the coin. If you’re not having regular orgasms, you’re not getting the benefit and boost of these high immunoglobulin A levels. So not having orgasms—not having enough good orgasms—can actually make you sick. Another excellent reason to make sure you get your daily dose.

Studies have also shown that women who had sex at least once a week were more likely to have more regular menstrual cycles. Also, it’s been shown that regular orgasms also reduce cramps and the severity of them. 

Having more orgasms means having higher levels of estrogen in your blood, which translates to a lower risk of type 2 diabetes, overall better cardiovascular health, and much less bad cholesterol in your system. 

Orgasms are also good for sleeping! Sex exerts energy, and the more into it you are, the more energy you expend. But “sex¬ercise” aside, orgasms themselves relieve tension, which helps us get to sleep and stay asleep. The relaxing of the muscle tautness that increases as we anticipate release helps relieve all those nasty, annoying tensions you trap in your nervous system over the course of a day.

After orgasm, in women, the blood pressure starts to gradually decrease, promoting relaxation, along with the calming, soothing release of all those wonderful endorphins. If you’ve had a particularly stressful day, why drag all that drama to bed with you when you and your partner can work it out together—or just yourself! And if you’re feeling too tired to have sex—maybe it’s time to break that vicious cycle once and for all.

One of the greatest tonics a woman can take to seal in her good health costs nothing, can be achieved with or without company, and has benefits well beyond the initial pleasure it provides. With this knowledge, you should be wanting and working at having at least one orgasm every day.

Vegetables and Fruits: Never a Fad

Guest blog by Felicia Drury Kliment
Author of Eat Right for Your Metabolism: The Individualized Diet Plan to Balance Body Chemistry, Lose Weight, and Prevent Disease

When choosing vegetables and fruits, select a rainbow of colors to ensure you gain the entire range of benefits they offer. The various pigments in plants confer particular health benefits.

Red and purple plants -- grapes, blueberries, strawberries, beets, eggplant, red cabbage, red peppers, plums, and red apples -- contain antioxidants that prevent the formation of blood clots. 
Yellow and green plants -- spinach, collards, corn, green peas, avocado, and honeydew -- include the pigments lutein and zeaxanthin, which help heal cataracts and macular degeneration and also reduce the risk of developing these eye problems. 

Orange plants -- carrots, sweet potatoes, winter squash, and mangoes -- have alpha carotene, a cancer fighter, and beta carotene, which helps repair damaged DNA. Oranges, peaches, papaya, and nectarines support the transmission of nerve impulses between cells and strengthen the cardiovascular system. 

Green vegetables -- broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, kale, and bok choy -- have anticancer properties. 

Vegetables also help raise mineral levels in the body -- provided there are enough fat-soluble vitamins A and D in the diet to assimilate the minerals. Because individuals who have excessive levels of some minerals are usually deficient in others, they need to eat more of the vegetables that will normalize their deficient mineral levels and less of those that contain large amounts of the minerals in which they are oversupplied. Because it is in the pigment of plants that many of the minerals and other nutrients in plants are stored, the choice of vegetables depends to some extent upon color. For example, anyone with a potassium deficiency needs green, leafy plants because the dark green pigment in these leafy plants contains high levels of potassium; on the other hand, eating white, orange, yellow, and light green plants increases calcium levels in the body. When we lack a particular nutrient, we also lack one of the pigments that store this nutrient.

Ten Tips For A Safe Hospital Stay

Guest blog by Laura Nathanson, MD, FAAP.
Author of What You Don't Know Can Kill You: A Physician’s Radical Guide to Conquering the Obstacles to Excellent Medical Care

We’re going through a sticky patch in hospital care. Patients and their loved ones often feel that there are too many doctors (and you rarely see the same one twice) and too few nurses (and it’s hard to get their attention). Worse: it’s hard to figure out just who is in charge -- or whether anyone is. Here’s why:

· Too many doctors: 
Many hospitals are Teaching Hospitals. That means that medical students, young MD’s not yet licensed to practice, (Residents), and practicing doctors who are earning a Subspecialty degree (Fellows) all contribute to patient care. And all of them work under the supervision of a fully qualified Specialist or Subspecialist. Many patients have complicated conditions and a resulting profusion of doctors in various stages of training. 

All these doctors may appear at your bedside, individually or en masse. They rotate in shifts that are shorter than they used to be; your daytime doctor is unlikely to be your nighttime doctor. And they change crews as often as week to week.

· Nobody in charge: 
If you have only two doctors, they need to communicate only with you and with each other. If you have three doctors, there are six crosspaths for communication. If you have six doctors, there are potentially 720 types of doctor-doctor communication. Nobody checks that every such communication takes place and is accurate. 

Medical specialists often vie with each other for decision-making power. Who decides if the lung abscess needs antibiotics, or surgical drainage? The lung doctors, the surgeons, or the infectious disease specialist?

Just to top it off, many hospitals now employ their own Hospitalists -- physicians who are charged with being the final decision maker at the patient’s overpopulated bedside, able to overrule a Specialist’s and or a Primary Care Doctor’s recommendations. 

· Too few nurses: 
We are coping as a nation with a severe nursing shortage. Even if lots more people were eager to become nurses, there are fewer and fewer expert Registered Nurses around willing and able to teach them. 

So nurses may not only be few and far between, but exhausted by longer shifts, higher patient loads, the paperwork demanded by Managed Care and the Joint Commission, (a private, non-profit watchdog for hospital standards,) and the rapid development of new skills for them to master. 

What can be done?

The fall out from these developments can be serious: errors and delay in diagnosis, dangerous glitches with medication and care techniques, and oversights in ordinary patient safety.

Here are my suggestions for staying safe in the hospital:

1. Ensure that a competent adult stays at the patient’s bedside, and goes along on trips requiring wheelchair or gurney, as close to 24/7 as possible.

2. That adult should serve as a Sentinel, alert to obvious deviations in care (food being given to a patient who is supposed to have nothing by mouth, for instance); ominous changes in the patient’s condition unnoticed by the staff (increased trouble breathing, poor color, incoherence); and situations that are dangerous, such as an unconscious patient who is vomiting and in danger of aspirating the vomitus.

3. The Sentinel should be prepared to perform tasks that free up the nurse for more sophisticated patient care. Offer to empty basins and bedpans, sponge-bathe the patient, tidy the bed, know where vomit basins, bedpans, towels etc. are located, and how to help the patient put on a hospital gown. The Sentinel also may have to call for, or even administer, emergency treatment, such as suctioning the vomiting patient.

4. Ask every caregiver not only their name, but their exact title. If you don’t know what the title means (“I’m a first year fellow in Invasive Radiology,” for instance) then ask (“What is a Fellow? What is Invasive Radiology?”).

5. Ask for the training credentials of the Hospitalist. “Hospitalism” is not a specialty in itself; there are no required credentials, no Board Certification in Hospitalism. Your Hospitalist should be a Board Certified Specialist in the kind of condition the patient has. If not, or if you’re not sure, call your own Primary Care Physician.

6. Every student, resident, and fellow works under the supervision of a senior, board-certified physician. Ask each one who their supervisor is and the nature of his or her credentials. If a surgeon-in-training appears at the bedside to perform a procedure, make sure that the senior surgeon knows about it and agrees to it beforehand (unless it is a truly urgent situation.)

7. The potentially most dangerous area of the hospital is the MRI suite. It contains an extremely powerful magnet that acts on every magnetizable object in the room. Metal devices or fragments inside the body can shift and damage tissue. Loose objects in the room, such as an oxygen tank, will “home in” on the magnet at great speed, regardless of what is in the way -- such as your head. Make sure your technician has checked on all possible dangers. There are no “national” guidelines for MRI safety.

8. Every study or lab test performed is ordered to answer a specific medical question. For instance, Is the bone broken? Is the pneumonia improving? Has the heart suffered damage? If you don’t know why a test has been ordered, clarify it and write it down. Once the test is performed, make sure that the physician who “read” the results actually answers the question.

9. Wear a shrill whistle on a chain around your neck, hidden under your top, to use ONLY in the case of a true desperate emergency.

10. As soon as possible after discharge, obtain and review the records of the stay with an eye towards accuracy, logic, and the credentials of the physicians. Make sure the reports of studies answer the medical question that was asked, and that the reports of students and doctors in training have been annotated and co-signed by the supervisor.

If this all sounds daunting, well, it is. But after thirty years as a physician, and sixty-seven days and nights with my husband in four different hospitals, I can’t honestly offer less intimidating guidance.

It is likely to be decades before we get medical care under better control, and in the meantime it is up to us, the Sentinels of our loved ones, to become the crucial missing member of the Health Care Team: that is, the person ultimately in charge.

Copyright © 2007 Laura Nathanson

Turn Back the Clock By Turning On Your Inner Light

Guest blog by Debbie E. Mandel
Author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul
Watch her interview on The Woman's Connection YouTube Vlog

The generation who didn't trust anyone over thirty is now aging. As a result, botox, collagen, face-lifts and liposuction procedures are ubiquitous and thriving-as common as Tupperware parties. Cosmetics companies market a vast array of anti-aging products. Anti-aging sounds as negative as: don't trust anyone over the age of thirty. Perhaps these same products could be relabeled as rejuvenating, or youth enhancing. No one over forty, the consumers most likely to use these products, is going to adopt the slogan of anti-aging! In any case, there are better, healthier and happier ways to reverse the negative effects of aging and they are free!

Come out into the light! Not midday sunlight which etches lines and wrinkles, but your own inner light. Live more joyfully by cultivating a positive eye for life. Whatever happens to you, no matter how painful or dark, there is always the dual side, the companion which is the power of your perception: illness is a companion to wellness; suffering is a companion to happiness; in other words, everything that has a front also has a back. By merging the two we create a complete whole. Working at being happy, putting both your mind and body into it will help you to think, affirm and ultimately implement. Happiness radiates throughout the body making you less prone to disease. Laughter activates the immune system. Conversely, depression makes you more prone to cancer, infection, osteoporosis, heart disease, etc. Nothing ages a person more than sadness. You trudge around stooped shoulders, your eyes to the ground. You are fatigued as your energy levels are weighted down by your mood. Your eyes have lost their sparkle, to say nothing of your libido!

However, when you make up your mind and body to be happy, by beginning with a smile, you release serotonin in your brain. You feel capable of possibilities and your face begins to lighten. A smile immediately makes you look more attractive and others respond to your smile. 

Next, look in the mirror and take inventory of what you see. Like Michelangelo, keep what you like and get rid of the excess. Eat a balanced diet. Get rid of sugar and white processed foods. They are inflammatory. Watch your skin take on a healthy glow along with hair and nails when you follow a diet rich with Omega 3s. Drink plenty of water to flush out the toxins and moisten your skin. Avoid stimulants that keep you up at night. Getting your beauty sleep is more than a time-honored cliché. At night our cells regenerate. You want that well-rested look that takes years off the face as opposed to a pinched look of tension.

As you work your way down a full-length mirror, you may notice that you need a bit of exercise to combat the force of gravity and carve away the excess baggage that adds weight to the knees and makes your heart work harder. The most effective way to reverse the aging process is exercise: strength training, cardio and flexibility. As a result of exercise, our biological age is reversed. Strength training drives glucose into the tissues to keep insulin levels steady and drives glucose into the brain to keep the mind in focus. We stand up straighter and improve balance through core stability. Exercise is a great energy booster because it relieves stress by ridding the body of stress hormones. Put the spring back into your step and increase libido with exercise-induced higher testosterone levels in both males and females. (Testosterone increases libido for both sexes.) By the way sex provides a glowing skin treatment!

In addition to exercise, the following mind/body prescriptions will help you to reduce stress in your life to be the best that you can be. No one can live stress-free, but it is important to learn how to de-compress quickly. Reinterpret a stressful situation with love and forgiveness, or objectify it with humor. Don't take yourself so seriously. Begin to develop a comic eye. Another great stress-reducer and wrinkle smoother is meditation. Breathe deeply and close your eyes. Detach from the negativity. Watch your cares float away on clouds. Don't judge your thoughts or worries. Just let them float by you as you rise above them seeing them from a distance growing smaller. Then attach to the spirituality and light within. Tap into your own personal glowing energy. Return to your surroundings when you are ready. You feel at ease and as relaxed as though you have been away on vacation.

So, throw away the genie in the bottle that deceptively promises you a great body without any exercise. Throw away the cosmetics that use twenty-year old models to demonstrate their anti-aging products! Instead use simple moisturizers and sun blocks. Live your true, authentic life. Become ignited with creativity. Nothing deadens the heart and soul like routine. Go ahead and stir your coffee backwards, or change your seat at the kitchen table. 

Instead of looking in the mirror and asking: "Mirror, mirror, on the wall who is the fairest of them all?" See yourself benevolently reflected in someone else's eyes as you do volunteer work or perform a kind deed without telling the whole world about it.

Top Tips for Women's Health: Medical Care Every Woman Should Know About

Guest blog by Elizabeth Stein, CNM, MSN, MPH
NYC practice Ask Your Midwife, PC.

1. Gynecology - Women should see their midwife or physician routinely for a Pap smear, pelvic exam, pelvic sonogram, breast exam, STD screening, pregnancy planning and birth control. In addition, blood pressure and weight should be recorded at each visit. For many women, their gyn provider is also their primary care provider. This visit should include a complete interval history, which is the history from previous visits to the current visit. This includes medical problems, medications including over the counter medications and herbs, sexual activity, lifestyle which includes smoking, drinking, drugs and exercise. 
2. Breast Health - A breast self-exam should be done every month for the women's entire life. Mammograms should start at age 40. They can be scheduled earlier if there is a close family member with breast cancer.
3. Cervical and STD Screening - Though not standard of care, HPV testing should be done in combination with the Pap smear. STD cultures include gonorrhea, Chlamydia, trichomonas. Other cultures include bacterial vaginosis (BV), yeast, and group B strep. STD blood screenings include HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B, and herpes 1 and 2.
4. Heart Health - Heart disease is the number one cause of death among older women in the United States. Blood pressure, weight, nutrition, activity level, lipid profile (cholesterol, triglycerides, HDL, LDL) and diabetes screening are all factors that affect heart health and should be discussed regularly. Obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure increase the risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke. Women may want to consider taking a baby aspirin (81 mg) daily to decrease their risk of heart attack and stroke.
5. Colon Health - Women should have a colonoscopy at age 50 and repeated every 10 years. Women with a personal history may start screening earlier and more frequently than every 10 years. 
6. Bone Health - Osteoporosis is a condition that causes bone deterioration and mainly affects women. Women should have a bone density test near the onset of menopause. Estrogen prevents bone loss. Weight-bearing exercise and diets rich in calcium and vitamin D will help to keep bones healthy.
7. Perimenopause Health - The transition into menopause can last anywhere from 2-8 years. Menstrual history should be reviewed because the first symptoms of menopause are often changes in the menstrual cycle followed by hot flashes. Hormone tests can also determine if a woman has entered perimenopause and include follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), estrogen and thyroid levels. 
8. Postmenopausal Health - The average age for menopause is 51+ years. The average lifespan for women is currently nearly 80 years. Women may want to discuss a wellness plan with their provider as most will live another 25 to 30 years in the postmenopausal period. 
9. Vaccinations - An HPV vaccine (Gardasil®) is available and strongly recommended. Women should also consider a flu vaccine annually.
10. Other Annual Screenings - See your dentist and eye doctor yearly.
11. Be Proactive. Review all results and make a healthcare plan with your provider.

Top 10 Reasons to Kick-off a Walking Routine with a Friend

Guest blog by Kim Murphy and Kris Carpenter
Author of The Best Friends' Guide to Getting Fit (Capital Ideas) 

After being casual friends for ten years we decided (somewhat on a whim) to start walking together five mornings a week. We knew that we probably should be exercising, but we were too busy being wives, mothers, and career women. Exercise was not a priority. In fact, it's rather amazing to us even today that we took those first steps out the door to meet each other.

But we did. And that first morning, as we hit a gradual hill in our neighborhood, we became winded. It made us laugh to think of how out of shape we were. Had we been alone, it might have made us cry and it's likely neither one of us would have continued on to walk another day. Something would have gotten in the way of being consistent-be it our personal schedules, our self esteem, or our lack of motivation. Yet, because we had each other to laugh with and we looked forward to our time together, we did continue. 

Now, all these years later, we can actually say that we have met consistently 5 days a week, for more 7 years, for some type of exercise-from walking, to running, to biking, to yoga, to strength training, and more. What has unfolded is a journey we never could have predicted, with destinations unimagined. We've landed at such amazing sites as the finish line of the Marine Corps Marathon; and have experienced adventures like opening up a business, publishing a book, and launching a website together.

We firmly believe that each and every milestone we have reached was possible because:
· We had each other to lean on, to bolster, and to cheer;
· We had a consistent friendship-based exercise routine that fostered in us an incredible sense of confidence, clarity, purpose, and discipline;
· We learned how to transfer those skills-which were first developed during our walking routine-and apply them to other parts of our days in order to make major life changes.

We've spent countless hours analyzing what worked for us and creating a philosophy to share with others. Why? Because if it can work for us, it can work for you. 

Our philosophy is simple: If you connect with a friend, while you move your body, you can transform your life. 

The first step to experiencing success in your own life, utilizing our philosophy, is to understand why it works. Here, we present our Top 10 Reasons to Kick-off a Walking Routine with a Friend.

1. You know you should be exercising. 
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," we hear you saying. We all know exercise is good for us… and so, our point is? Our point is that we understand the disconnect between knowing what to do, versus, actually doing it.

When the list of commitments, priorities, and chores is long, taking time to exercise seems like one more job to add to the list. Maybe you find yourself saying, "Who has an hour to give to exercise, when what I really want is a shower?"

On the other hand, it's hard to deny that nagging guilt over what you know you should be doing for yourself. Why? Because, you're a smart girl. Ignoring the statistics regarding the benefits of exercise takes work. That, plus the fact that you may notice the longer you've gone without exercise, the more it shows. Maybe your aging body is sagging in ways that clothes no longer seem to cover. Or, you're facing health issues that exercise can combat. Or, deep down inside you wish you could be a better role model for your family or at least be in better shape to keep up with them. 

Partnering with a friend can be the key to closing the gap between what you know is good for you and what you do about it.

2. The friendship will seduce you into being consistent-even if you've never consistently exercised before in your life! 
When it comes to exercise, most people struggle to be consistent. Knowing you should "just do it" is not usually enough incentive (day after day) to head out the door for a workout. But with a friend at your side, you'll have someone to hold you accountable, who is expecting you. Then each day, you'll able to talk without interruption to someone who genuinely cares about you. You'll quickly get addicted to your time together, long before you begin to crave the exercise. One day will turn into 5, and then without realizing it, you'll look back in amazement and say, "Wow, I can't believe we've been in our routine for six whole months!". . . Six months will turn into a full year and then you'll be well on your way to a lifetime of fitness.

3. It's good for mind, body, and soul. 
Kicking off a walking program will allow you and your friend to chat and to connect on a regular basis. Women need to nurture and connect, "to tend and befriend", explains Shelley Taylor Ph.D., professor of psychology at UCLA, in her book The Tending Instinct. According to Taylor, having an opportunity to seek out social connection and support can lower blood pressure and tell our adrenal glands to stop producing corticosteroids. Fewer corticosteroids can reduce anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed and overwrought. 

Combine this "tend and befriend" approach with a routine that lets you move your body on a regular basis and you'll benefit mind, body, and soul-which can prompt life changing experiences for both of you.

4. It's the guilt-free approach to spending time with a friend.
Now that you know that even the experts say friendship is good for you, think back to how as you've gotten older, you may have placed friendships on the back burner. Where once we spent all our time with girlfriends, roommates, or sorority sisters hanging out and having fun, now we spend time tending to family commitments, work responsibilities, aging parents, volunteer duties, dirty clothes, dishes, and more. 

Like exercise, spending time with a girlfriend is easy to put off for another day. You'd never allow yourself the luxury to meet daily for coffee-it would seem too extravagant. And who has time to spend an hour on the phone chatting with a girlfriend? If you do manage to grab some uninterrupted time with a friend, it's probably only once a month (or less).

Yet, kicking off a friendship-based exercise routine gives you a guilt-free way of spending time together, while you both do something positive and healthy for yourselves.

5. You deserve to reclaim an hour a day for yourself. 
Getting lost in the details of the day is a common mistake women make. We remember how proud we were of ourselves for keeping everything going. We'd love to say, "We have all our balls in the air and none are dropping!" Little did we realize that each ball represented something or someone other than ourselves. As the years passed, we lost sight of our own personal vision and sense of who we were.

Today, you may no longer even know what your dreams for tomorrow are.

Having an hour a day to reflect, talk, and explore your thoughts with a friend may help you rediscover yourself. There are 24 hours in each day. You deserve at least one of them to meditate, center, prepare for the day, and explore your dreams and wishes. Your soul will feel nourished when you give it that time. At a bare minimum, you will set yourself on solid ground for the rest of day and all the hours you will spend juggling.

6. You'll have a built-in support system, someone to share the struggles, the laughs, and the triumphs with. 
Even though you may have a mom, husband, dad, children, boss, or work peers to provide you with support, a close girlfriend can support you in ways that few other people can. A girlfriend can know about and understand all aspects of your life, and yet, not be heavily invested in them. 

As you spend more together on your walks, you'll share good times and laughter; but also help each other through rough times. Your friend can be your true advocate, and you can be hers. You'll inspire confidence in each other, so that each of you helps the other to become the best that she can be. 

7. Your body will benefit. 
When you're in a friendship-based fitness routine, something funny happens slowly over time: your body starts to benefit. Perhaps you and your partner begin to walk a bit faster. Or, you try to jog a little bit in addition to your walks. Soon, one of you will mention that you are sleeping better at night, or that you're not suffering from as many headaches. Reflecting back, you'll realize that your bodies are changing. You're getting stronger, healthier, and more capable as a result of your routine. You will finally start to see the positive, wide-ranging effects of exercise. You'll be pleasantly surprised and proud of what you have accomplished. Most of all, you'll want to continue to build upon what you've started. 

8. You will develop greater confidence and discipline, which you can then apply to other areas of your life. 
As you gain a better sense of yourself and you become physically stronger and healthier, you'll become increasingly confident. This confidence has a way of spilling out into other areas of your life. You may no longer fear asking your boss for an alternative work schedule to better meet your needs. You may revamp and take control of your eating. You may start to say "No" to people who you've always, reluctantly, said "Yes" to. By feeding your body, mind, and soul, through daily connection and movement, you are being transformed!

9. You'll have more fun doing it together, than you'll ever have doing it alone. 
Just as we explained in the beginning of this article, even the miserable moments that can occur when starting an exercise routine-like the feeling of being winded-can be made more enjoyable when you have a friend to laugh with about it. And all of those initial awkward steps-be it joining a gym or trying a new class for the first time-are made more comfortable when you have a friend beside you along the way. Best of all, the achievements you experience are that much sweeter when you are able to share and rejoice together. 

10. Partnering with a friend may be the very formula you need to finally succeed at being consistent. 
If you've struggled to find a way to exercise consistently, this approach may be just what you need to break that cycle. It's what we needed. Before we decided to join forces, neither one of us had ever succeeded at establishing and maintaining any type of exercise routine. But once we made a commitment to each other-even though it seemed a small promise at the time-we discovered a formula for success. 

If you're ready to make it work for you, then grab a pencil and make a list of friends nearby. List neighbors, co-workers, other moms (any woman you feel a natural connection with.) You don't have to start out being "best friends". Review your list, then pick up the phone and call one of them. Ask her if she's interested in walking on a regular basis with you. Explain the concepts behind a friendship-based fitness routine. If she's not interested, review your list and pick another friend. There are women all around yearning to connect with others and to find the key to getting fit and living well. If you're persistent, you will find the right partner.

Once you do, determine the time and location each day that you will meet. Begin with a single goal: to meet each day (or at least 5 days a week) for a walk. Make the small promise to each other to show up every day. Then enjoy, as your own friendship-based fitness journey unfolds.

©2005, ConnectMoveTransform.com/Kim Murphy and Kris Carpenter

Some Warning Signs for Heart Attack and Stroke

Heart Attack

• Uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing or pain in the center of the chest
  lasting more than a few minutes.
• Pain spreading to the shoulders, neck or arms.
• Chest discomfort with lightheadedness, fainting, sweating, nausea or shortness
  of breath.
• Upper back pain

Stroke

• Sudden numbness ore weakness of face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body.
• Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding.
• Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
• Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.
• Sudden, severe headache with no known cause.

The Natural Way of Healing

Guest blog by  Rachel Madorsky
Author of Create Your Own Destiny! Spiritual Path to Success.

For ages, our ancestors carefully collected everything that was successfully used for healing a human body. To achieve the goal of healing the human body - either materialistically or spiritually - everything was considered good.

Our ancestors were masters in treating the human body with herbs, aroma oils, massages, music, songs, crystals, water, fire, charms, prayers, silence, noise, the laying of hands or not, singularly or with groups, and so on.

Modern medicine and the pharmacy industry are losing the fight with chronic diseases and bacteria resistant to antibiotics. Everyone has heard of spontaneous recoveries of terminally ill patients. Doctors often have no explanation and question whether the initial diagnosis was correct. These facts and others are pushing people to look for alternative treatments.
Mystery surrounds one of the ageless kinds of healing: spiritual. It has other different names like Psychic, BioEnergy, Polarity, Magnetism, Therapy Touch, Reiki, and Subtle Medicine. When a sick person desperately needs healing and asks the Higher Source, help seems to come immediately through gifted people in the form of an invisible force. Some people call this source God. Others are more comfortable calling it the Divine Spirit or the Universal Mind .
From my own experience, I know healing may occur under the Higher Source's power not only at home, but in different religious places and at locations with high energy levels. In those places, cultural or traditional rituals may be performed.

Connection with the Higher Force by the sick person or the healer, who acts as an instrument in hands of the Cosmic Power, happens when their prayers and requests are in unison with the goal of our Creator.  

All genuine spiritual healers acknowledge that the healing power is not their own, but that they are only acting as a channel for the Higher Forces of the Universe. In the beginning of the healing session, healers mentally connect their Ego to the Higher Source of Subtle Energy through prayers or visualization. 

Spiritual healers use various techniques to attune the body to the Subtle Energy, thus enabling the body to heal itself. Sometimes healers use personal touch. Sometimes healers visualize the sick person who might be located miles away, sending waves of energy in form of the unconditional love and kindness. Holding a photograph or a letter from the patient is very helpful in Absent Healing. The Absent Healing has its disadvantages because it is difficult to uncover the cause of the problem and often sick persons do not care about the healing procedure. In my practice, I prefer to meet my patients in person. 

My patients have reported different sensations from icy cold, to hot, or from a slight warmth, to tingling, wind, pressure, or vibrations or movement from within the body. Because of these sensations, it is easier for people to accept the power of healing and its result. The best results are achieved if the patient is receptive and accepting of the healing power. 

From the first moment a sick person acknowledges the existence of his illness, he is better armed to win the battle with the disease. Healer and doctor will be his beacons who will guide him toward to recovery. They will provide advice about diet, breathing and physical exercises, imagery and meditation or to decide to change habits. Sometimes doctors who follow our common patients call me.

Recently I participated in an international conference. During that event, I found all medical experts from around the globe are looking for ways to combine the modern methodology of treating people with the ancient experience of grandparents. The name of that new approach is Integrated Medicine!

The fundamental power and path to the healing are within and must begin there first. Those who support us are only guides to our health.

If you do not ask, nothing will happen. Remember God helps those who allow Him to help them. 

Surprising Skin Aging Antagonists: Face the Facts

Guest blog by Dr. Tess Mauricio

Doing the wrong thing can certainly speed up your skin’s aging process, and you might be surprised at what some of those no-no’s are. Here are 5 ways to ensure you continue to put your best face forward:

1. Avoid drinking through straws.
I’m sure many of you drink dark sodas, tea and coffee through a straw to prevent staining your pearly whites or to avoid putting your mouth on a can or bottle, right? Do Not Sip From a Straw! It’s causing fine lines around your mouth, a sign of premature aging to your facial skin area. Over the long-term, pursing your lips to sip out of a straw causes extra wrinkles around the mouth.

2. Train yourself to sleep on your back. 
Resting your face on the pillow in the same way every night for years on end leads to wrinkles. Called sleep lines, these wrinkles eventually become etched on the surface of the skin and no longer disappear when the head is not resting on the pillow. Women, who tend to sleep on their sides, are most likely to see these lines appear on their chin and cheeks. Men tend to notice these lines on the forehead since they usually sleep with the face pressed face down on the pillow. People who sleep on their backs do not develop these wrinkles since their skin does not lie crumpled against the pillow.

3. Pull down the shade in an airplane.
You’re much closer to the sun in a plane than on land, so it stands to reason that solar rays, which can penetrate windows, are more intense at higher altitudes. This may explain why pilots and flight attendants have been found to be at an increased risk for melanoma and other skin cancers. Plus, the air up there is notoriously dry—and without moisture, skin, like any living tissue, simply shrivels. Drink as much water as you can in flight; avoid alcohol and salty foods, which are dehydrating. Apply a rich moisturizer with SPF 15 or higher 30 minutes before boarding, as sunscreen needs time to be absorbed before it’s effective. And if you’re sitting next to a window, pull down the shade.

4. Beware beauty creams with toxic ingredients. 
Yes, exposure to some beauty cream chemicals do more harm than good. You may be surprised to hear this, but many ingredients in beauty creams actually speed up the aging process. Avoid buying beauty creams that contain parabens, mineral oil, paraffin, petrolatum, dimethicone, and other toxic ingredients. When buying a beauty cream, read the label carefully and talk to your dermatologist before experimenting with a new facial product.

5. Maintain a healthy weight.
Packing on pounds can make your skin look plumper on the surface, but carrying excess weight can cause your body’s levels of insulin (a hormone made by the pancreas that controls the amount of sugar in your blood) and cortisol to rise, which can break down collagen. You’ll see increased sagging from putting and keeping on as little as 10 to 15 extra pounds. Loss of facial fat causes sagging and a gaunt, aged appearance. In addition, repeatedly gaining and losing weight can take its toll on the skin’s elasticity, leaving behind stretch marks and jowls. Yo-yo dieting also causes premature aging. The repeated weight gain and loss stretches your skin and makes it loose and saggy. Maintain a healthy weight with proper diet and exercise. Aim to keep your weight in the normal range, with a body mass index between 18.5 and 24.9.

Other surprising skin aging antagonists to avoid include:

-- Cell phones held against your face - phones get left around on various surfaces and pick up much bacteria that can cause pimples around cheeks and jawline. It's best to use your cell phone in hands free mode!
-- Central Air Conditioning and Heat - pulls essential moisture from the air and can readily dry out your face skin
-- Glasses & Sunglasses - bacteria can grow on the frame that will sit directly on your facial skin for an extended period of time (simply wipe clean with anti-bacterial cloth before putting glasses on each day)
-- Chlorine - after a dip in the pool or hot tub, don't just rinse skin with water to think the chlorine is gone…scrub the face with a sudsy cleanser to remove all chemical residue and be sure to moisturize afterward!
www.mbeautyclinic.com