"Call-Killing Phrases" by Wendy Weiss

How often have you started a call to a friend, family member or business associate with the phrase, 'How are you?' I'm willing to bet the answer is a lot. I know I say it frequently. It's commonly used as a greeting, as a 'hello.'

Because 'How are you?' is so commonly used, how often have you started your introductory calls with this phrase? If you do use this phrase as an opening for your introductory call, please stop immediately. It's an introductory call-killer, and this is why:

1. If you ask this question, you must be prepared for the answer. What if your prospect answers, 'I'm having a lousy day. My back hurts, I have a cold, I hate my job and my wife left me yesterday'? Do you really care? Is this the reason for your phone call?

2. You lose control of the call. (This is probably the most important reason.) If your prospect does respond, 'I'm having a lousy day. My back hurts, I have a cold, I hate my job and my wife left me yesterday,' how are you going to get the call back on track?

3. It's a set up, a tip off to your prospect that you are making a sales call. It gives your prospect the opportunity to say, 'I'm busy. What do you want?' (See number 2 above.)

Similar issues apply with the introductory call-killing phrases, 'May I have a moment of your time?' and/or 'Is this a good time to talk?'

With both of these phrases, you lose control of the call right at the beginning, before you've had a chance to say anything at all. If the prospect answers, 'no,' the call is over. These are also both tip off phrases. Friends, family and important business colleagues would probably not say, 'May I have a moment of your time?' or 'Is this a good time to talk?' Only someone making a sales call would use this language, and it's all too easy for your prospect to respond negatively.

I know that many of you reading this will argue, 'Wendy, it's polite. It's polite to say, 'How are you?' as a greeting and it's polite to ask permission to speak.' There are, however, many ways to greet a prospect - saying 'hello' works just fine It is also equally polite to simply introduce yourself and get to the point. This is not only polite, it's respectful of your prospect's time, it's more effective and it allows you to retain control of the conversation.

In order to be truly effective prospecting or selling by phone, it is imperative to control the conversations you have with prospects. You want to set yourself up to have the best possible conversation that you can have with any given prospect. While it is true that not all prospects will respond badly to the above phrases, why take the chance? Why risk blowing a lead at the beginning of the call if something as simple as not starting out with, 'How are you?' can totally eliminate that possibility?

Say hello. Introduce yourself. Get to the point and say what you have to say. Then ask for what you want. This is the formula for a successful introductory call. Save the 'How are you?' question for those whose answers really interest you.

© 2006 Wendy Weiss

BUY her book: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

"Bringing In Management" by Erin Flynn

At the sales training company I work for, I watch salespeople bring in new business on a daily basis. I've noticed that the most successful reps have learned when and how to bring management in for help. These reps realize they cannot always close a deal solo; wisely, they turn to their higher-ups for assistance. 

Let's say an experienced sales representative at my firm is at the proposal stage with a prospect, but is not certain about the timetable, pricing, person or plan. It's not at all uncommon at our company for the rep to call in the president, Steve Schiffman. Steve will call this prospect and say something along the following lines: "I just wanted to call and say hello. I'm Steve Schiffman, the president of the company. I understand from speaking with my rep, (rep's name), that it looks like we'll be doing business together."

At this point, one of two things can happen. If the prospect says, "Yes, that's right," then Steve knows that the salesperson is in fact presenting a solid proposal. If Steve gets a "Gee, I'm not so sure" answer, he will ask, "Oh, what seems to be the issue?" 

Steve deals with the issue by showing examples of how D.E.I. has helped other companies in similar situations. It always helps to assure the prospect that your company has handled similar situations, and achieved positive results. 

He often closes the call by saying to the prospect, "I will work with my rep in dealing with this concern. You can be assured we will together to make sure you are comfortable in such-and-such an area."

Let's say the rep then meets with his or her contact -- and then doesn't get the deal. Steve will make a second call. That call sounds like this: "I understand from speaking to my rep that we are not going to be doing business together after all. Did we do something wrong?"

Steve asks the person directly why there is no deal. This is one of the most underrated strategies in the industry. Invariably, when Steve asks, "Did we do something wrong?" the prospect will say "No, it was nothing you people did." Steve will then ask, "So why aren't we doing business together?" At that point, the prospect will outline what is really at stake. 

Steve will address his concerns and close the cal by saying, "Let's get together with my rep and review how we can work together to solve the issues you've raised in such-and-such an area. How about Tuesday at 3 p.m.?" 

You'd be amazed at how often this approach results in major sales from prospects that appeared to be "dead in the water."

I have seen this "bring in the manager" strategy utilized again and again. It really works! Try it yourself and see what happens! 

The bottom line: Working together, salespeople and their superiors can get to the heart of the prospect's situation -- and win sales that otherwise would have slipped through the cracks. 

Who Can Benefit From Gestalt Therapy? by Hana Dolgin

Many methods of psychotherapy exist, with diverse theoretical understandings of the human personality and of what constitutes "mental health." For many people, the term "therapy" carries with it an association of illness and impairment, since it is used in the medical context (as in chemotherapy and physical therapy). Therefore, they think seeking psychotherapy is an admittal of being 'sick' or 'unbalanced' in some way.

Complex theories aside, Gestalt therapy is, in fact, a method of cultivating awareness of one's self in the moment. This awareness allows a person to become conscious of their internal process of thoughts, emotions, perceptions and sensations, which go largely unnoticed in the course of daily life. This internal process has a determining effect on our choices and on the outcomes of those choices, which make up our life. 

Many times, people act without realizing what makes them feel compelled to do so. For example, Julie may have had a dissatisfying conversation with her friend Jane, finding her to be distracted and unsympathetic, and then gone to the fridge to look for something to eat, even though she had just finished eating.

If Julie were aware of her emotions and physical sensations, she might find out that she is feeling the emotion of sadness, but is actually experiencing a feeling of fullness in her stomach. This awareness would help Julie make a more appropriate choice for her organism, such as seeking a way to release her sadness, for instance by expressing it to a supportive person. If no supportive person were available, Julie could internally understand and accept her own sadness. She might then choose to soothe herself by taking a hot bath, or she might choose to release energy by engaging in a physical activity, such as running or dancing. There is no one 'correct' way to handle a situation. When a person is aware of what she feels and needs, she will find what's best for her under the circumstances. 

Let's say that Julie's mother says: "Go see a movie, you'll feel better!" and Julie obediently goes to a movie. She may feel better after seeing a comedy, or may decide that her problem is insignificant after seeing a movie about a war or natural disaster. Another possibility is that she may find herself unable to get into the movie. If she is aware of her experience, she may realize that this movie isn't what she needs, and decide to leave before the end of the movie, and do something else.

Julie's state of mind will most likely have an effect on the way she interacts with the people she comes into contact with. If she is still feeling sad and disappointed but is unaware of what caused it, she may withdraw from others, feel lethargic or something of the sort. This, in turn, may cause her boyfriend to wonder why she isn't her usual lively self, and he may think it is due to the fact that he forgot to buy her flowers, or that perhaps she's losing interest in him. (As you see, things can get unnecessarily complicated.) 

When we are aware of our internal workings, we can communicate more effectively, first of all with ourselves. Julie can communicate consciously to herself: "I feel very disappointed and sad that Jane was so unsympathetic when I was telling her how my boss put me down in front of my co-workers at the meeting. I will tell her, at an appropriate time, how I feel. "

Julie may tell her boyfriend "I'm not in such a good mood tonight." When he asks why, she'll have an opportunity to tell him and hopefully get his support. This will also save him from trying to guess why, and from attributing her lack of enthusiasm to some imagined shortcoming of his own.

The above is a short and relatively simple example of how awareness, or the lack thereof, can play out in daily life. However, when people are unaware, they usually accumulate "heaps" of interactions that affect their lives and the lives of those they come into contact with, creating a tangled web of actions and reactions.

As a result, they may feel out of control, as though "things just keep happening to them". They may not know why they are having difficulty in their relationships, why they can't seem to control their eating habits, why they are having trouble sleeping at night, etc. This is because, as a result of their lack of awareness, they are missing crucial information regarding their motives for acting as they do, and their contributions to the situations they find themselves in.

If one is unaware, how does one go about gaining awareness? The way we learn is through practice. In a Gestalt therapy session, the therapist serves as an awareness coach, and gently assists the client by asking questions or setting up experiments that direct their attention to their experience in the moment. Through the therapist's training and experience, they have become more sensitive to their own internal process and can help their client regain access to her or his own. Gestalt therapy can be an invaluable tool in gaining the ability to monitor ourselves "in real time," thus having more internal clarity about our motives and desires. This allows us to make choices that are more in line with our deeper needs, and are more likely to bring about their fulfillment. Gradually, we can transition from feeling 'acted upon' by life's circumstances, to feeling that we have greater power to create our own reality and be active participants in the great dance of life.
       

"Beating Quota" by Erin Flynn

Recently, a client of ours in the telecommunications industry asked us to help set up a customized training program to help sales representatives increase sales depth within its base of existing customers. This client had numerous Fortune 100 customers... but had not developed a systemized way of identifying new areas for growth within each of these major accounts. 

We asked participants to bring information on their top five accounts to our training session. At the program, we asked them to answer the following questions about each account: 

* How can I work with this company's sales department to win new customers - and increase profitability? Follow-up: What new people within the organization would I talk to about that? 

* How can I help the target company's sales, customer service, shipping and transportation departments to maintain its base of existing accounts more effectively? Follow-up: What new people within the organization would I talk to about that?

* How can I work with the target company's shipping, accounts receivable, accounts payable, and manufacturing departments to improve communication with major suppliers? Follow-up: What new people within the organization would I talk to about that?

* What programs can I put together with this company's marketing and sales departments to help the organization gain a competitive edge in the marketplace? Follow-up: What new people within the organization would I talk to about that?

* How can I help this company's department heads and human resources people retain and recruit high-quality employees? Follow-up: What new people within the organization would I talk to about that?

* What can I propose to this company's shipping, receiving, dispatching, sales, and customer service people to help streamline transportation? Follow-up: What new people within the organization would I talk to about that? 

In answering these questions, trainees were asked to identify contacts in at least five different areas within each company. They wrote down the size of each account, the possible product application by division/department, and information in each relevant area gleaned from sources like the World Wide Web or the company's annual report. 

At the end of this process, all the participants had a huge number of new prospects! Their new calling list was prioritized according to three criteria: territory management considerations (i.e., which contacts to meet with in the same building on a given day), the potential account size, and the likely time cycle. 

We then showed these reps how to build their calls around the groups and people these reps had helped in the past, thus dramatically increasing their likelihood of scheduling a meeting with the new person. 

The bottom line: By using these strategies, our client was able to target and win new business within their major accounts - and beat quota.  

Be Safe. Have fun, live life but keep Your Eyes Wide Open! byline: Kristie Kilgore

This situation with the sniper calls us to realize how fragile life is and how precious. This is a call to each an every american to take their personal freedom seriously AND their personal protection. It is up to YOU to stay safe. Like children, we put our lives in the hands of others everyday Truthfully, only you can keep you safe.

First decide that your life matters and that you will take steps to be safe The best thing you can do to prepare for random violence is to decide that your life matters and you will protect it.

Second - The next best thing you can do for yourself is to be aware of your normal surroundings in everyday life. Noticing something that is out of place or someone who is out of place is an important step.

Third - your eye-sight is a great gift. Walking with an unfocused gaze allows your eyes to perceive motion in your peripheral vision.

Fourth - although this is a serious terrifying horrific situation, MOST violence is predictable. True random violence is rare. Learn important warning signs - today!

Fifth - Make a habit of noticing entrances and exits to buildings when you enter them and make a game (a fun game that is a part of your daily life) of using your recall to observe your surroundings. Take snapshots with your vision and try to recall 10 or 15 minutes later what was in your field of vision. This skill translates in an emergency to noticing danger before IT  notices YOU.

Book: Eyes Wide Open: Bodyguard Strategies for Self-protection

Asking the Right Questions by Wendy Weiss

On an introductory call, how do you gather all of the information that you need from a prospect? An introductory call is usually fairly short, just a few minutes. You generally do not have the time to thoroughly question your prospect and then also move on to your next step, setting that introductory meeting. So, how do you gather enough information to qualify your prospect and, at the same time, set up the meeting?

First, make a list of all the information that you would like to gather from your prospect. Then, look at your list and decide what information is crucial and what information can wait for later (either later in the conversation or later at the meeting). Ask the crucial questions first. Then, if your prospect is chatty, you can ask the rest of your questions. If your prospect is brusque or to-the-point, ask the questions you need to ask, set the meeting date and save the rest of your questions till then. 

You should, as much as possible, "prequalify" your prospect. Find out as much about the prospect and prospect company as you can. Once you've done that, eliminate the questions to which you already have answers.

There is no reason to ask a prospect, "Are you the person who purchases…?" or "Are you the decision-maker?" If you have done your homework and prequalified your prospect, you should know the usual title of the decision-maker and/or in which area or department you will usually find that decision-maker. The rule is always to try to reach the highest level person whom you believe might be the decision-maker. If your decision-maker is usually found in the Human Resources area, ask for the Senior Vice President of Human Resources. When you have a conversation then, there is no need to ask, "Are you the decision-maker?" Of course they are! Or they may have delegated that authority, and if so, they will tell you that and give you the correct name.

Ask questions that solicit relevant information. There is no need to ask a prospect, "Are you familiar with… (your company, your product/service)?" You won't be getting any useful information with this question. It really doesn't matter if they are familiar. If they say they are, it does not guarantee that they know everything they need to know to understand the value of what you are offering. If you want to make absolutely certain that your prospect does understand the value of your offer, you must tell them. If they are not familiar with your company, why then you still have to tell them.

It is far better to simply stay in control of the introductory calling process by telling your prospect what you would like them to know. Ask your questions on a real "need-to-know" basis. Keep them short and to-the-point, and then ask for what you want

Buy her book here: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

Mayday! Asking for help is Universally Dreaded-but it's a Skill You Can Learn by M. Nora Klaver

Do you resist asking for help-until it's your last resort? 

Join the crowd. 

Our fierce independence is creating a culture of need-and unprecedented isolation.

Attendance at club meetings is down 58 percent, involvement in church activities has dropped as much as 50 percent, and simply having friends over to the house has decreased 45 percent. Meanwhile, one in four people say they have no one to confide in-and most everyone reports overwhelming levels of stress at home and on the job. 

The good news?

You can learn to ask for help. But first, you've got to figure why you don't, why you should, and how you can. 

Why we don't ask for help 

Asking for help is so frightening that, even when faced with death, some of us will still not ask for that helping hand. To overcome this dread, you've got to debunk some common cultural myths-and face your fears: 

Myth: Asking for help makes you look weak or needy.

Reality: There's no shame in turning to others in times of need. In fact,  it's a sign of strength.

Myth: Asking for help signals incompetence-especially at work.

Reality: Seeking help at work shows others that you want to do the job right-and to develop and learn. 

Myth: Asking for help can harm relationships.

Reality: Healthy relationships are about give-and-take-not just give. 

Myth: Asking for help puts others in an awkward position.

Reality: It's human nature to offer help when you see someone in need-and it's no different when others see you in need. 

Myth: Asking for help might lead to rejection.

Reality: Even a "no" response offers the opportunity to learn more about yourself-and your relationships.

Myth: Asking for help means the job might not get done right. 

Reality: Refusing to ask for fear of losing control maintains the status quo. Let go and give your helpmate a chance to shine. 

Myth: Asking for help means you'll have to return the favor.

Reality: Help freely given comes with no strings attached-other than a simple and sincere thank-you. 

Myth: Asking for help just isn't the American way. 

Reality: Independence and self-sufficiency are admirable qualities that lead to success. Still, all great enterprises-including our nation-were built on mutual support and teamwork.

Why we should ask for help

Mastering the "Mayday" call can ease and enhance your life and career in a variety of ways. Asking for help: 

* Deepens connections
When someone answers your call for help, it strengthens the bond between you-or creates the potential for a new relationship. 

* Reduces stress and restores energy
Getting help can save you time and energy, simplify your life, and improve your work-life balance. 

* Reminds you that you're not alone
Everyone needs help at times. If you're the type who endures hardships with grim determination, you'll discover you don't have to go it alone.

* Gives happiness to others
Don't you feel good when you help someone else? Letting others help you gives them that same opportunity.

* Leads to personal growth
Taking risks, learning to trust, and finding out that others have got your back are just a few of the lessons you'll learn. 

* Allows the pleasure of surrender
Being out of control can actually feel great. Once asking for help gets a little easier, you'll relish the experience of letting go. 

* Reminds you that you're worthy of support
You deserve a hand as much as anyone else. When someone comes to your aid, it reinforces that message. 

* Lets others shine
Seeking help gives others the opportunity to reach out, contribute, and try something new.

* Clarifies relationships
Mayday calls reveal the strengths and limitations of relationships-and provide important "aha" moments. 

* Solves problems
Don't overlook the original reason for the Mayday call: You're in trouble and need help-help that could potentially change, or even save, your life.

How we can ask for help

Too many of us would rather go it alone when help is right there-just for the asking. Here are ways to reach out with comfort and confidence:

* Practice. 
Building your Mayday muscles requires regular exercise. Challenge yourself to ask for help three times a day-every day. 

* Go easy on yourself.
Self-care is the new self-help. Be compassionate with yourself-and remember that you, too, are deserving of help.

* Cast a wider net.
Expand your list of helpmates. Look beyond the obvious-family and friends, and co-workers-and add some new names to the list, starting with someone who's been in your shoes. 

* Plan the time-and place.
Talk to your potential helpmate as soon as possible. Pick a convenient time for him or her, and do it in person-and in private. 

* Be specific.
Articulate your needs. Clarify what you're looking for-from terms to timelines-though be careful not to micromanage. 

* Listen differently. 
Be attentive to the subtle cues behind a general "yes" or "no" response. Is your potential helpmate willing-or reluctant? 

* Use the "three thanks" rule.
Don't flub the thanks. Express your gratitude three times-when the agreement is struck, when the need has been met, and when you next see your helpmate. 

Ask early, ask often

No one is immune from needing help, even in today's go-it-alone culture. So, take a risk and "make the ask"-early and often. It just may change your life!

BUY NOW!!! Mayday!: Asking for Help in Times of Need

"Are You Getting in Your Own Way?" (A Marketing Insensitive) by Wendy Weiss

If you are not seeing the sales and marketing results that you desire you might want to take a hard look at your communication style for both spoken and written communications. You could be getting in your own way.

Think about your goal in every communication you have with a prospect or customer. Then look at how you communicate with that prospect or customer. Are you getting the looked for  results? 

Recently I offered a series of free teleseminars. My goals for the teleseminars were to help attendees with difficult prospecting issues and to introduce my new product, "Cold Calling College." As an incentive to purchase the product I offered a one-day only discount (standard marketing procedure.) Here is an e-mail that I received from one of the participants:

--> "Dear Wendy,

--> "I thought the concepts on the cold calling telecall today were valid, however, somewhat rudimentary for me. I would consider purchasing 'Cold Calling College' for the scripts.. my Area Director is in Prague [so] I cannot get approval until next Monday. To get the approval I will need to sell its value as being more advanced than what I have thus far seen. Considering these factors. I would like to request that the discount still be offered to me next week."

It was fascinating that this participant e-mailed to request a favor, an extension on the deadline to purchase the product, yet she chose to start out her request by disparaging the teleclass and the offer. Hmmm. She's getting in her own way.

I did not take this personally. Actually, I found it to be rather amusing. We have sold many, many copies of "Cold Calling College" and will continue to do so. One sale more or less will not make or break us. I replied with a polite e-mail that the deadline to purchase was midnight that night and could not be extended.

In thinking about this communication I wondered had she sent a different e-mail would I have been more inclined to grant her request? How could this participant have changed her 
communication to make it more likely to get a positive response?

Let's see.

It's always a good idea to start out a request with an acknowledgement. It puts the recipient in a good frame of mind. It is also important to tell the truth. The issue here would be for this participant to find something she could acknowledge. How about this:

--> "Dear Wendy,

--> "Thank you for taking the time to offer this free teleclass."

This is the truth. The class was free. It took some of my time. This was a statement the participant could easily have made without compromising her feelings about the class.

Next, outline the problem in a positive manner, again always telling the truth. In the original e-mail this participant said, "I would consider purchasing 'Cold Calling College' for the scripts. my Area Director is in Prague [so] I cannot get approval until next Monday." (The subtext of this sentence is that there is nothing important in the product except for the scripts.) How about this instead:

--> "I'm interested in purchasing 'Cold Calling College,' but I need to get my manager's approval to do so. She is in Prague until next week."

This approach is much softer and is also true. She did have some interest in purchasing "Cold Calling College." In this approach she is not promising to buy, she is simply expressing interest in a positive manner. She did not have to minimize the value of the product to make this request.

Next this participant said, "I will need to sell its value as being more advanced than what I have thus far seen."

This is totally unnecessary information for the recipient it's also rather insulting. She should have skipped this sentence altogether.

Then ask for what you want. It is also a good idea to acknowledge that your request is out of the ordinary.

--> "Would you be good enough to give me an extension on the deadline?"

Had this participant followed this outline, I might very well have granted her the extension she requested.

Think about every communication that you have with a prospect or customer. Ask yourself, "What is my goal?" Then ask yourself, "What is the best way to frame this communication so that I get the desired result?" Ask yourself, "How might my prospect or customer react to my 
words?"

Asking yourself these questions before you communicate with a prospect or customer will keep you from getting in your own way. It will help you to create easy, stress-free communications. It will also help you get the results you desire.

Buy her book: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

Another Marketing Insensitive by Wendy Weiss

Approximately two years ago I first wrote about "Marketing Insensitives." At the time, I had received a call from a telemarketer offering me some "marketing insensitives" to purchase a product. Yes, she really said this! She was not being clever; she just couldn't pronounce "incentive."

But, Marketing Insensitives do exist! They are the unfortunate, not-thought-through, ridiculous, dumb things that businesses do that drive customers away. Here is another:

**************

The potential customer makes a phone call.

Ring, ring, ring.

Automated Telephone Attendant: Thank you for calling Wonderful Widget World. We're happy that you have called. Here you will find our total selection of Wonderful Widgets along with bargains galore and expert service from our happy, healthy sales consultants all here to help you find the Wonderful Widget of your dreams. Please visit us at www.wonderfulwidgetworld.com. And please listen carefully as our selections have changed.

Press 1 if you know the extension you wish to reach
Press 2 if you want our mailing address
Press 3 to find the Wonderful Widget World near you
Press 4 if you would like to receive our Wonderful Widget World catalogue
Press 5 if you would like to receive our Wonderful Widget World special offers
Press 6 if you would like to be taken off of our Wonderful Widget World mailing list
Press 7 if you would like to be on our Wonderful Widget World mailing list
Press 8 if you would like to contact the Wonderful Widget World Safety Council
Press 9 if you would like to contact the Wonderful Widget World International Charitable Foundation
Press 10 if you would like to speak with a sales consultant
Press 11 if you would like our Wonderful Widget World Directory
Press 12 to hear a recording of our happy, healthy Wonderful Widget World sales consultants singing, "We Are the World"
Press 13 if you would like to a receive complimentary photograph of the team building session at our annual Wonderful Widget World retreat
Press 14 to hear these choices repeated

The potential customer presses "10" wanting to speak with a sales consultant and buy some wonderful widgets.
Automated Telephone Attendant: Thank you for calling Wonderful Widget World. No one is available to take your call. Our sales consultants are all busy, busy, busy, busy helping other 
customers. But, we're happy that you have called. Here you will find our total selection of Wonderful Widgets along with bargains galore and expert service from our happy, healthy sales consultants all here to help you find the Wonderful Widget of your dreams. Please visit us at http://www.wonderfulwidgetworld.com. Please listen carefully as our selections have changed.

Enough said.

Buy her book Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

Amateurs by Wendy Weiss

Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She is a former, highly successful model who is now building a highly successful network marketing business. As we are both entrepreneurs, we talk a lot about our businesses, we egg each other on, give each other advice, commiserate.

My friend was feeling frustrated. "Amateurs," she said. "I'm tired of dealing with amateurs."

I knew what she meant. A professional is someone who shows up, no matter what. A professional is someone who gets the job done, no matter what. A professional is someone who does what she needs to do, when she needs to do it, no matter what. An amateur is someone who lets circumstances, other people and emotions get in the way.

As my friend put it, "When you're a model, if you have a saggy butt, they tell you that you have a saggy butt. Then they tell you to go away. If you want it enough, you fix your saggy butt and go back."

I grew up in the ballet world. It's very much the same. You take class everyday with a teacher whose job it is to criticize you The criticism is to help you improve, but some times it just  feels like criticism. You dance in front of a big mirror. This is so that you can criticize yourself. 

As an adolescent and even a young professional, I've been called "a cow" because of a few extra pounds. I've had teachers hit an errant arm or leg with a stick because that arm or leg was in the wrong position. (No, they weren't singling me out, they hit everyone.) I've lost dance jobs because I was too tall, too short, or had the wrong color hair. Those of you who read my book, "Cold Calling for Women," know that as a teenager I was not accepted into the renowned Harkness Ballet School because my back was too long. (They told my dad I was a very good dancer, but.) When I cut my hair short (it used to be down to my waist so that I could put it up in a classical ballet bun) I never again, got another job as a ballet dancer. And by the way, when you go to a dance audition they don't let you dance. They simply line you up and look at you and then start eliminating dancers. Once they're done eliminating, the dancers that are left get to actually dance.

When I first started doing sales training and clients would talk to me about rejection and fear of rejection I had no idea what they were talking about. As the years have gone by and I've  worked with more and more clients I do understand that those feelings are real.

Sales can be a tough world. Everyone will not love you or your product or service. Everyone will not say "yes." Sometimes in sales training brochures or on our web sites we get carried away and write, "Overcome every objection!" "Turn every 'no' into 'yes!'" The stark reality is that will not happen every time. Some prospects will say "no." A career in sales is not for the weak.

The key to success is what you do with that "no." You can allow it to stop you, or you can put it aside and continue on. The power is entirely yours. If there are people in the world having success doing exactly what you want to be doing, there is no reason that you cannot do it too. 

Being a professional starts with your mind set, that you believe in what you are selling and that you do not give other people, circumstances or even your own thoughts and emotions the power to stop you. Or as my friend put it, "If you want it enough, you fix your saggy butt and go back."

Check out her book here: Cold Calling for Women Opening Doors & Closing Sales

Perhaps, It’s All In A Name byline Sharon Kava

Sharon Kava’s first novel – a suspense thriller – still sits in a bottom desk drawer after receiving 116 rejections from literary agents Alex Kava’s first novel – a suspense thriller – received three offers of representation and went on to be a bestseller with a first printing of 70,000 hardcover copies, and the recently released paperback hitting #23 on the New York Times extended bestseller list. The difference? It may very well be all in the name, because I wrote both of those novels -- one under my real name, Sharon; the other under a pen name, Alex.

When I randomly sent out that first novel as Sharon Kava, I received quite a few conflicting responses from literary agents. Notes in the margins of my query letter said things like, “Wonderful suspense, but too harsh for a romance.” Or “tone down the violence and add some romance.” I wasn’t trying to market the novel as romantic suspense, and yet, it appeared that literary agent after literary agent was trying to put me into that genre. I began to wonder if these agents – many of whom are women with remarkable track records – simply didn’t believe women wrote hard-hitting suspense thrillers. It seemed as though they needed to fit me into the romantic suspense genre in order to believe they could sell my novel.

Two years later, I quit a full-time job as a director of public relations for a small college. I was burned out and ready for a change. I decided to give novel writing one more try. Only this time, I would eliminate as many obstacles as possible. 

First, I finished the manuscript. I polished, revised and edited, then revised some more. I was living off my savings and then my credit cards. I taught part-time and even had a newspaper delivery route I could hardly afford the $100 editing fee, but still, I hired a professional editor to go over the manuscript. 

Then I did my research on literary agents, carefully choosing agents I’d like to work with and finding out as much as possible about the current authors they represented as well as recent sales they had made. I narrowed my list to thirty-two literary agents and prepared custom-designed submission packages to each agent’s specifications. But before I sent out a single one, I decided that Sharon Kava would become Alex Kava. 

That past experience had left me with what was, perhaps, only a gut instinct. However, I was determined to remove as many obstacles as possible, and if there was the slightest chance that a perception existed that women wrote romantic suspense while men wrote suspense thrillers, then I would try to remove that obstacle the best way I knew. So I looked for a name, that when spelled the same way, could be misconstrued male or female. Of course, it also had to be a name I liked and could live with, if need be. But most importantly, I didn’t want agents determining my manuscript’s plight by a simple glance at my name and pegging it into a certain genre before they even read it. 

A half dozen agents wanted to see more. Three requested the entire manuscript to read. Those three offered to represent the book, calling and asking for “Mr. Kava.” None of them had been able to distinguish whether the manuscript had been written by a man or a woman. For me it was the ultimate compliment, my reasoning being that good fiction should be, in a sense, genderless. After all, isn’t that what writers strive for is to be an all-knowing force, an omnipotent narrator who can relate to and see into the hearts of minds of their characters, whether those characters are male or female? Besides, I had also just accomplished the first step in what some claim is the equivalent of winning the lottery – I was on my way to getting my first novel published, and whether it was as Sharon or Alex, it was still my novel.

Check out her book: A Perfect Evil

Your Choice: Aging Boomer or Ageless Bloomer by Barbara M. Morris. R.Ph.

The American way of aging, steeped in stultifying tradition and flawed conventional wisdom of a bygone era, is slowly changing. 

But for now, tradition and custom still dominate. You know the routine: Around age 50 an accelerating number of sound bites, events and messages caution or imply, "The end is near." Everything from invitations to join AARP to dire warnings about inescapable problems and pitfalls of aging are relentless reminders life is winding down.

You are deemed lazy or irresponsible if you have not prepared to acquire that contagious, debilitating disease called retirement - a political absurdity of the Depression Era that short-circuits the life and potential of many capable people and, burdens society in too many ways to count. 

Bombarded by countless predictions of impending disability and death, you start looking for signs of your own decline. A momentary memory lapse, which everyone experiences, regardless of age, results in a panicky "I'm having a senior moment." I have never heard a teenager experiencing a memory lapse (and they have plenty of them) berate him or herself with "I'm having a junior moment." 

You drop something and immediately declare, "I must be getting old." Young people drop things all the time and don't imagine they are getting old. They just bend over and pick it up. Youth doesn't sweat the small stuff - why should you? 

The advent of age 60 can really accelerate the "old age" wrecking ball. Tradition says it's time to leave the real world. It's time to travel and play golf the rest of your life.

Social and family pressure convinces you the home you've lived in all your life is now "too much" for you. Therefore, you move to a retirement community where you not only enjoy the comfort and camaraderie of peers, but you are also vulnerable to the reality of the Grim Reaper who manifests himself in an abnormal concentration of sickness, depression, and death.

You adopt attitudes and behaviors that instruct your subconscious to help you let go of life. You kid yourself that you are just taking time to smell the roses but before you know it, the roses are on your coffin and you are pushing up daises.

Here's the good news: In spite of the pull of tradition and social expectations, people are beginning to opt out of the traditional aging process, refusing to slow down, fall into line, give up, and drop out. A 78 year-old friend and business owner is engaged to a successful younger executive and together they have a solid plan for future business and personal growth. A 92-year-old woman is flying across the country, participating in a Powder Puff Derby. A 78-year-old man is studying for a doctor's degree. 

These people and countless others are maintaining and improving the quality of their lives and making a valuable contribution to society. Unfortunately, examples of inspiring mature lives are too often hidden. When brought to light, we exclaim in astonishment, "Isn't she wonderful for her age," or "Isn't it amazing what he is still doing?" When people learn I am still working as a pharmacist, they gasp, "You are still working full time at age 73?" Big deal! Chronological age is an accounting of time gone by, not a measure of physical or mental capacity.

Expression of amazement for age-related competence is patronizing. Ability should be valued for what it is, without reference to chronological age,. That point will be reached when more influential and outspoken mature role models come out of the "old age" closet and show, if not flaunt, what they and others are capable of accomplishing. They are needed to help establish an enlightened society in which healthy, productive aging is no longer newsworthy as something special. It will open doors of opportunity and possibilities now closed to valuable and talented people afflicted with nothing more incapacitating than advanced chronological age.

How about you: Are you living a life that rejects they tyranny of chronological age? Are you happily marching forward to the beat of your own personal drummer? Are you gloriously "out of sync" with convention-bound peers? Are you productively defying archaic wisdom that no longer makes sense? If so, the world needs to know about you. 

In the past century, the American life span has increased 27 years. Boomers are the first generation ever to have the opportunity for a healthy, productive Second Life. They can choose the traditional aging route as their parents did, or forge an exciting, unprecedented transition from fantasy-driven "young forever boomer" to real life healthy, productive, ageless bloomer. It's a matter of choice, not chance. It's just that simple.  

BUY HER BOOK HERE: Boomers Really Can Put Old on Hold

"10 Easy Things You Can Do To Make Your Life a Gazillion Times Better" by Judymay Murphy

1. Notice how what you put in and what you get out are always linked. If you want to make a fish pie, you put in fish. If you want to make a cherry pie, you put in cherries. Take note of what you have been putting into your life and what kind of pie you've been getting as a result. What steps have you been taking toward having your ideal career, what have you been eating, how much exercise have you been taking, how much time have you been spending with those you love, how many meetings have you been having about new ways to make and invest money? Write up how you have been apportioning your time every day. Remember, excuses do not give you the life of your dreams, inspired, consistent action is what's required. So choose some better pie-fillings than TV shows, burgers and moan-y conversations, choose positive talk, walks and fresh fruits and veggies.

2. Go to the place you spend most of your time, (your office, garden, living room, car...) and notice what is best about that place. Find one way to enhance that aspect, creating even more light, fixing up the view, making it even more comfortable. Now notice what is not working or not feeling good about the space and decide what needs to been slightly changed or radically transformed, perhaps it needs to be re-organized, cleaned, de-cluttered, revamped, to have nature or technology brought in? How will your life be a Gazillion times better through your space being more beautiful, more efficient or more inspiring?

3. Take a minute to work out where your trigger areas are when it comes to slipping back on achieving your goals. Perhaps you are doing great with healthy eating until you pass the pizza restaurant on the way home from the movies, or you are taking action on setting up your company until things get busy in your current workplace, or doing great with saving money until you go into a clothing store, . Once you have identified these danger areas write up alternatives so that you can avoid them; driving home a different route from the cinema, dedicating three nights a week to your new business no matter what is going on at work, leaving cash and credit cards at home when you go to a mall.

4. What needs to be said that you have not yet communicated to someone? Is it telling a parent or sibling that you love them? Is it telling a co-worker that you are no longer willing to shoulder their workload for them? Is it telling yourself that you forgive yourself for something? Is it telling your boss that you are leaving to start your own company? Role-play it with someone and have them act out every possible reaction and notice how you cope with every response. Now say what you need to say in a way that supports everyone, most of all you.

5. Pay attention to how you appear to others as you move through the world. This is not about becoming focused on what others think about you, it is about being aware of the effect you have on people. Is your expression usually blank, hostile, giddy, depressed, edgy? What about your tone of voice? Is it timid, monotone, sarcastic? We are so used to ourselves that we can easily believe we are just neutral and this is never the case. How would you prefer to come across- light, dependable, humorous, responsible, playful, powerful, active?

6. Sit down and name the area of your life that isn't working as well as the others. For some this is relationships, for others it may be career, money, health, creativity, emotions, - you know what it is for you. Take a piece of paper and write an honest account of where you are in that area, taking care not to exaggerate or minimize. Now write up what you are prepared to do to make it an area of strength. Decide on one action you will take very day for one month to turn things around. This could be swimming for 20 minutes a day, saving five dollars a day by bringing lunch to work and putting it in a trading account at the end of each week, reading 4 pages a day of a helpful book, spending 30 minutes a day talking with one of your kids really getting to know them. You will be amazed at how you quickly start to love that area of your life, especially when you start to get great results way before the month is up.

7. Keep going when things seem to be going wrong. Many people stop taking action when they meet with resistance or disapproval from others, or when things don't go exactly to plan. If something doesn't work out the way you had hoped, assess what happened and what you have learned. Immediately take a new and different action to get you to your desired result. It's not a refusal just a delay, and it's the delays and the learning's that strengthen us for making the rest of the dream come true.

8. Keep going when things seem to be going right. The flip side to point 7 is that people will often slow down and stop following a triumph. When you achieve a goal it is important to take time to rest and celebrate and then its time to use the momentum and confidence gained with the last achievement and use it to get to the next level. If you get a promotion, great! Now start to focus on how you can feel even better by giving even more value to the company, how you can start your own investment project for the extra money you will be making, how you can help those around you to adjust to the new circumstances. If you loose weight, how can you ensure it stays off and that you get even more fit and healthy and help others to do so also?

9. Ask yourself every morning, what are five things I can do today, five small steps I can take to make my dreams come true? Have the questions posted up on the bathroom mirror, on your bedroom door, on the computer screen, wherever they will catch your eye. You can take note of the answers you come up with and tick them off the list as you achieve them throughout the day. That night, over dinner, you and your family can share your dream-maker triumphs.

10. Tap back into your real dream, that thing that you promised yourself as a child that you would do. Did you always want travel, adventure, to make a beautiful home, a certain kind of toy, a certain type of friend, a dog, a pony, peace and quiet, to learn more, to invent something, to perform? Youknow what it is. Take one action right now to launch it into being. Enjoy making your life a Gazillion Times Better.

BUY NOW!!! Your Life Only a Gazillion Times Better: A Practical Guide to Creating the Life of Your Dreams

"$1,000 to an IPO: One Women's Entrepreneurial Journey" byline: Rosalind Resnick

I was sitting where you are now. My partner and I had just started a little company called NetCreations. Back in 1995, we were just a two-person Web design firm operating out of my house in Hollywood, Florida. I was a journalist who had just written a book about doing business on the Internet. My partner, Ryan Scott, was a computer programmer and video game designer. I like to say that he was the guy who could make anything and I was the girl who could sell anything. We were a great team.

But quickly we realized that our clients needed more than just Web sites - they needed a way to get people to visit these sites and persuade them to shop and buy. So, after months of trial and error, we discovered a way to make that happen - by building a database of Internet users who had voluntarily "opted in," or given us permission to send them targeted email messages about products and services that they liked. And, best of all, we let them get off our lists at any time! Instead of spamming them with junk mail, we sent them mail that they really wanted - and our clients' response rates went through the roof!

But just because we had invented a great product didn't mean that we knew how to build a great company. We had every problem that you could imagine. Because we didn't know how to manage people, we had constant turnover. In fact, back in May 1998, all four of our employees quit the same day. And, because we didn't know much about accounting, our bookkeeper embezzled $22,000 from us - even though I was signing all the checks! There were tech problems, customer service problems, you name it!

But we had a hot product and, if you've got a hot product, the market will forgive you for just about anything. In the fall of 1998, the dot com market exploded. All of a sudden, there was Amazon and Buy.com and a dozen different online pet stores clamoring to rent our lists of targeted, permission-based email addresses. Our sales took off, and, pretty soon, the word got out - email marketing was the place to be. Before long, big guys like DoubleClick invaded our little marketplace and our biggest reseller raised $9 million in venture capital and became our biggest competitor overnight.

In early 1999, we had a choice - get big or go home. We were a tiny company - only about 20 employees at the time working out of our one-room office in SoHo. But we were proud and stubborn. And my partner and I were not about to let anybody come in and eat our lunch. So, instead of selling out to a competitor, we decided to fight back. We hired a small investment banking firm in DC - the big New York banks wouldn't touch us - and we took our show on the road. I went from never having raised a dime of outside money in my whole life to raising $43 million in three weeks. The day our stock started trading, our little company was worth $300 million. Three months later, at the height of the dot com craze, we were worth almost $1 billion.

Now, I wish that I could tell you that this was the happy ending to our story, but, of course, it wasn't. As all of you know, the capital markets began to pull out of the Internet business in April 2000, and, despite the fact that we were a real company with a real business model making real money, many of our customers were dot coms that depended on venture capital to survive. So, as our customers cut back their advertising, our sales began to slip and, by September 2000, it was clear that we were going to miss the earnings estimates that the analysts had set for us when the market was so hot the year before.

What happened next seems like a blur. When I announced that we were going to miss our numbers, our stock plunged by 50% in one day. To save our stock price, I put together a deal with DoubleClick, our arch-competitor, to acquire our company for $191 million stock for stock. But, a week later, DoubleClick announced that it was going to miss its numbers, too, and its stock price plunged, dragging down the value of our deal to about $50 million. As a result, some disgruntled shareholders hit us with a class action lawsuit, accusing me and my partner of self-dealing and all kinds of terrible things. Worst of all, DoubleClick was going to replace me as CEO. 

But, then, just as it looked like things couldn't possibly get any worse, we had an amazing stroke of luck. Out of nowhere, an Italian publishing and marketing conglomerate called SEAT Pagine Gialle made an unsolicited offer to acquire us for all cash. Turns out that SEAT had bought a controlling interest in a French direct marketing company that had wanted to buy us the year before. So, on Feb. 15, 2001, we closed a deal with the European company for $111 million cash. My partner and I, who still owned about 75 percent of the company's stock, each walked away with roughly $40 million. I stayed on as CEO of NetCreations until last December.

So what's the moral of the story? If you want to be cynical, you could say that it's better to be lucky than good or that we just happened to be at the right place at the right time. But, in our case, I think it was more than that. The bottom line is that we were the market leader and we were making money, and, despite the market downturn, our company still had value. And that's why we were able to walk away with our heads held high and some serious money in our pocket. And, by the way, NetCreations is still alive and kicking at our original office at 379 West Broadway.

But I'm not here today to bore you with stories about the past. The dot coms are dead, and they aren't coming back. I'm here because I've started a new company, Axxess Business Centers, and our mission is to help entrepreneurs like you start your own businesses and, if you already have a business, to take your company to the next level. We offer one-on-one counseling, business plan writing, workshops, seminars, support groups, how-to books - basically, everything you need to get started and keep on going. To be honest, I only wish that Axxess Business Centers had been around to help me out when I was starting NetCreations seven years ago!

As an entrepreneur, I honestly don't believe that entrepreneurship can be taught. It takes talent, drive, persistence, and the willingness to make lots of mistakes and to learn from them. As I used to tell my staff at NetCreations, if you don't know where you're going, it's impossible to get lost! But, having said all that, there are a number of things that you can do to maximize your chances of success so that, hopefully, you can avoid all the mistakes that I made the first time around!

1. Don't assume that you can turn love into money. You may be a great cook but a terrible restaurateur! That's why you need a business plan to provide a roadmap of where you want to go!

2. If you can't come up with a great business idea of your own, buy a franchise. Most small businesses fail within the first five years - the odds are much better with a franchise that's been road-tested by somebody else!

3. Don't fall in love with your business. Decide on an exit strategy even before you begin! The worst mistake you can make is selling your company six months too late!

4. Plan for the worst case scenario. Everything that can go wrong with your business undoubtedly will. From time to time, your employees will quit so make sure that every process is documented and every employee is cross trained!

5. Prepare to work the 24/7 shift -- at least, until you start making money! You'll have plenty of time to sit on the beach once you've made your millions!

6. Keep your own books -- or else your bookkeeper will rob you blind! Now, I swear by Quickbooks, and I reconcile my bank statements religiously.

7. Answer your own phone and email. That's the best way to find out what your customers really think of you!

8. Hand out business cards like candy. It's the cheapest form of advertising there is! 

9. If you need to raise money to help your business grow, get it from a bank, not a venture capital firm. VCs want to sit on your board and take a piece of your equity. All your banker wants is a tax return showing profits and prompt repayment of your loan.

10. Don't hire a professional manager to run your business --until you've figured out how it run it first! 

"Reducing Skin Aging- How to Get The Wrinkles Out!" By Shari Lieberman, Ph.D., CNS, FACN

Researchers examined the diets of approximately 2,000 people who were 70 years and older to see if what they ate made a difference in the youthfulness of their skin. The participants were from Australia, Greece, China, Japan and Sweden. 

Rather than using the skin on the face, the skin on the back of the hand was examined and tested to assess actinic damage or skin aging. The back of the hand was used since some participants may have been using cosmetic products that reduce skin aging and wrinkling on the face. A silicon rubber impression method was used to keep an actual model of the skin, its texture and signs of wrinkling for each participant. 

Oxidative stress in skin is induced by sun damage and inflammation. Also, when damage occurs (e.g. exposure to sunlight) antioxidants in skin may undergo depletion. If antioxidants are not replenished continuously, deterioration of the skin can occur leading to accelerated skin aging and wrinkling. 

Topical application of numerous antioxidants such as vitamins C and E, Coenzyme Q10, alpha-lipoic acid, and flavonoids in green tea, have been shown to decrease sun damage and protect the skin against aging, improve skin wrinkling and possibly prevent skin cancer. Studies using oral antioxidant supplements of vitamins C and E simultaneously have also shown a reduction in sun damage and wrinkling of skin. However, this is the first time that daily food intake was examined to see if specific foods would protect the skin, reducing wrinkles and other signs of aging. 

SOME SURPRISING RESULTS

Overall, those with a higher intake of vegetables, legumes, olive oil, monounsaturated fat (e.g. olive oil) and legumes, but a lower intake of milk and milk products, butter, margarine and sugar products had less skin wrinkling and aging. Eggs, yogurt, legumes (especially broad and lima beans), vegetables (especially green leafy, spinach, eggplant, asparagus, celery, onions, leeks, garlic), nuts, olives, cherries, melon, dried fruits (in particular prunes, apples and pears), multigrain bread, jam, tea and water were all shown to protect against skin wrinkling and aging. Higher intakes of vitamin C, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, iron, zinc, and retinol (vitamin A) were also very protective against skin wrinkling and aging. Whole milk sweet milk desserts, ice cream, red meat (especially processed meat), potatoes, soft drinks, cordials, cakes and pastries were associated with increased skin wrinkling and aging. 

HOW ARE THESE FOODS PROTECTIVE?

Vegetables have a high content of antioxidants beyond vitamins C and E and beta-carotene. In particular, flavonoids and other powerful phytonutrients present in foods such as tea, apples, onions, garlic and eggplant are extremely powerful antioxidants. Tufts University has identified prunes, strawberries, berries, cherries, and tea to have some of the highest antioxidant activity compared to other foods. These foods are rich sources of polyphenols have a higher antioxidant activity than vitamins C or E. Legumes are a rich source of phytoestrogens that also have potent antioxidant activity. Collectively, these powerful antioxidants protected the skin against wrinkling when consumed in the diet.

Fish intake was shown to reduce skin wrinkling when consumed with other protective foods such as vegetables. Fish is a rich source of PUFA in the form of eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). While EPA and DHA are extremely important essential fatty acids that are not only important for skin, but for the cardiovascular and immune system as well, they are still susceptible to oxidation because they are categorized as PUFA. Therefore, a higher intake of fish must be accompanied by a higher intake of antioxidants. 

A diet rich in monounsaturated fat (MUFA) from olives and olive oil may increase the MUFA content of skin. MUFA is much more resistant to oxidative damage than polyunsaturated fats found in other types of oil. Also, oil assists the absorption of fat-soluble antioxidants such as vitamin E and lycopene. Margarine is made of polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFA) and frequent intake was associated with more skin wrinkling and aging. This may also be due to the more damaging effects of trans fatty acids and their greater susceptibility to oxidative stress than other PUFA. Margarine contains far more trans fatty acids that are formed during the hydrogenization process than would ever be found in nature. Even though saturated fats resist oxidation, foods high in saturated fat such as meat and butter did not protect against skin aging and wrinkling. 

High sugar intake was associated with greater skin wrinkling. This may be due to a greater production of advanced glycosylation end products (AGE) and less clearance of these damaging compounds. AGE are found in excess as a result of the aging process and also with conditions such as diabetes. AGE are closely associated with oxidative stress and have similar damaging effects. 

SAVE YOUR SKIN

The skin is very susceptible to oxidative damage due its high content of lipids, proteins and DNA all of which are extremely sensitive to the oxidation process. By consuming more vegetables, legumes and switching to olive oil (preferably extra virgin) and eating less meat, dairy, butter and sugar you can protect your skin against wrinkling and aging. 

Selected References

1. Purba M, Kouris-Blazos A, Wattanapenpaiboon N et al. Skin wrinkling: can food make a difference? JACN 2001;20(1):71-80.
2. Boulanger E, Dequiedt P, Wautier JL. Advanced glycosylation end products (AGE): new toxins? Nephrologie 2002;23(7):351-9.
3. Shapiro SS, Saliou C. Role of vitamins in skin care. Nutrition 2001;17:839-844. 

HER BOOKS TO PURCHASE

The Real Vitamin and Mineral Book

Get Off the Menopause Roller Coaster: Natural Solutions 

Dare to Lose

Some Warning Signs for Heart Attack and Stroke

Heart Attack

• Uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing or pain in the center of the chest lasting more than a few minutes.

• Pain spreading to the shoulders, neck or arms.

• Chest discomfort with lightheadedness, fainting, sweating, nausea or shortness of breath.

• Upper back pain

Stroke

• Sudden numbness ore weakness of face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body.

• Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding.

• Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.

• Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.

• Sudden, severe headache with no known cause.

"Turn Back the Clock By Turning On Your Inner Light" byline: Debbie E. Mandel

The generation who didn't trust anyone over thirty is now aging. As a result, botox, collagen, face-lifts and liposuction procedures are ubiquitous and thriving-as common as Tupperware parties. Cosmetics companies market a vast array of anti-aging products. Anti-aging sounds as negative as: don't trust anyone over the age of thirty. Perhaps these same products could be relabeled as rejuvenating, or youth enhancing. No one over forty, the consumers most likely to use these products, is going to adopt the slogan of anti-aging! In any case, there are better, healthier and happier ways to reverse the negative effects of aging and they are free!

Come out into the light! Not midday sunlight which etches lines and wrinkles, but your own inner light. Live more joyfully by cultivating a positive eye for life. Whatever happens to you, no matter how painful or dark, there is always the dual side, the companion which is the power of your perception: illness is a companion to wellness; suffering is a companion to happiness; in other words, everything that has a front also has a back. By merging the two we create a complete whole. Working at being happy, putting both your mind and body into it will help you to think, affirm and ultimately implement. Happiness radiates throughout the body making you less prone to disease. Laughter activates the immune system. Conversely, depression makes you more prone to cancer, infection, osteoporosis, heart disease, etc. Nothing ages a person more than sadness. You trudge around stooped shoulders, your eyes to the ground. You are fatigued as your energy levels are weighted down by your mood. Your eyes have lost their sparkle, to say nothing of your libido!

However, when you make up your mind and body to be happy, by beginning with a smile, you release serotonin in your brain. You feel capable of possibilities and your face begins to lighten. A smile immediately makes you look more attractive and others respond to your smile. 

Next, look in the mirror and take inventory of what you see. Like Michelangelo, keep what you like and get rid of the excess. Eat a balanced diet. Get rid of sugar and white processed foods. They are inflammatory. Watch your skin take on a healthy glow along with hair and nails when you follow a diet rich with Omega 3s. Drink plenty of water to flush out the toxins and moisten your skin. Avoid stimulants that keep you up at night. Getting your beauty sleep is more than a time-honored cliché. At night our cells regenerate. You want that well-rested look that takes years off the face as opposed to a pinched look of tension.

As you work your way down a full-length mirror, you may notice that you need a bit of exercise to combat the force of gravity and carve away the excess baggage that adds weight to the knees and makes your heart work harder. The most effective way to reverse the aging process is exercise: strength training, cardio and flexibility. As a result of exercise, our biological age is reversed. Strength training drives glucose into the tissues to keep insulin levels steady and drives glucose into the brain to keep the mind in focus. We stand up straighter and improve balance through core stability. Exercise is a great energy booster because it relieves stress by ridding the body of stress hormones. Put the spring back into your step and increase libido with exercise-induced higher testosterone levels in both males and females. (Testosterone increases libido for both sexes.) By the way sex provides a glowing skin treatment!

In addition to exercise, the following mind/body prescriptions will help you to reduce stress in your life to be the best that you can be. No one can live stress-free, but it is important to learn how to de-compress quickly. Reinterpret a stressful situation with love and forgiveness, or objectify it with humor. Don't take yourself so seriously. Begin to develop a comic eye. Another great stress-reducer and wrinkle smoother is meditation. Breathe deeply and close your eyes. Detach from the negativity. Watch your cares float away on clouds. Don't judge your thoughts or worries. Just let them float by you as you rise above them seeing them from a distance growing smaller. Then attach to the spirituality and light within. Tap into your own personal glowing energy. Return to your surroundings when you are ready. You feel at ease and as relaxed as though you have been away on vacation.

So, throw away the genie in the bottle that deceptively promises you a great body without any exercise. Throw away the cosmetics that use twenty-year old models to demonstrate their anti-aging products! Instead use simple moisturizers and sun blocks. Live your true, authentic life. Become ignited with creativity. Nothing deadens the heart and soul like routine. Go ahead and stir your coffee backwards, or change your seat at the kitchen table. 

Instead of looking in the mirror and asking: "Mirror, mirror, on the wall who is the fairest of them all?" See yourself benevolently reflected in someone else's eyes as you do volunteer work or perform a kind deed without telling the whole world about it.

BUY HER BOOK Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul HERE

"Ten Tips For A Safe Hospital Stay" By Laura Nathanson, MD, FAAP.

We’re going through a sticky patch in hospital care. Patients and their loved ones often feel that there are too many doctors (and you rarely see the same one twice) and too few nurses (and it’s hard to get their attention). Worse: it’s hard to figure out just who is in charge -- or whether anyone is. Here’s why:

Too many doctors: 
Many hospitals are Teaching Hospitals. That means that medical students, young MD’s not yet licensed to practice, (Residents), and practicing doctors who are earning a Subspecialty degree (Fellows) all contribute to patient care. And all of them work under the supervision of a fully qualified Specialist or Subspecialist. Many patients have complicated conditions and a resulting profusion of doctors in various stages of training. 

All these doctors may appear at your bedside, individually or en masse. They rotate in shifts that are shorter than they used to be; your daytime doctor is unlikely to be your nighttime doctor. And they change crews as often as week to week.

Nobody in charge: 
If you have only two doctors, they need to communicate only with you and with each other. If you have three doctors, there are six crosspaths for communication. If you have six doctors, there are potentially 720 types of doctor-doctor communication. Nobody checks that every such communication takes place and is accurate. 

Medical specialists often vie with each other for decision-making power. Who decides if the lung abscess needs antibiotics, or surgical drainage? The lung doctors, the surgeons, or the infectious disease specialist?

Just to top it off, many hospitals now employ their own Hospitalists -- physicians who are charged with being the final decision maker at the patient’s overpopulated bedside, able to overrule a Specialist’s and or a Primary Care Doctor’s recommendations. 

Too few nurses: 
We are coping as a nation with a severe nursing shortage. Even if lots more people were eager to become nurses, there are fewer and fewer expert Registered Nurses around willing and able to teach them. 

So nurses may not only be few and far between, but exhausted by longer shifts, higher patient loads, the paperwork demanded by Managed Care and the Joint Commission, (a private, non-profit watchdog for hospital standards,) and the rapid development of new skills for them to master. 

What can be done?

The fall out from these developments can be serious: errors and delay in diagnosis, dangerous glitches with medication and care techniques, and oversights in ordinary patient safety.

Here are my suggestions for staying safe in the hospital:
1. Ensure that a competent adult stays at the patient’s bedside, and goes along on trips requiring wheelchair or gurney, as close to 24/7 as possible.
2. That adult should serve as a Sentinel, alert to obvious deviations in care (food being given to a patient who is supposed to have nothing by mouth, for instance); ominous changes in the patient’s condition unnoticed by the staff (increased trouble breathing, poor color, incoherence); and situations that are dangerous, such as an unconscious patient who is vomiting and in danger of aspirating the vomitus.
3. The Sentinel should be prepared to perform tasks that free up the nurse for more sophisticated patient care. Offer to empty basins and bedpans, sponge-bathe the patient, tidy the bed, know where vomit basins, bedpans, towels etc. are located, and how to help the patient put on a hospital gown. The Sentinel also may have to call for, or even administer, emergency treatment, such as suctioning the vomiting patient.
4. Ask every caregiver not only their name, but their exact title. If you don’t know what the title means (“I’m a first year fellow in Invasive Radiology,” for instance) then ask (“What is a Fellow? What is Invasive Radiology?”).
5. Ask for the training credentials of the Hospitalist. “Hospitalism” is not a specialty in itself; there are no required credentials, no Board Certification in Hospitalism. Your Hospitalist should be a Board Certified Specialist in the kind of condition the patient has. If not, or if you’re not sure, call your own Primary Care Physician.
6. Every student, resident, and fellow works under the supervision of a senior, board-certified physician. Ask each one who their supervisor is and the nature of his or her credentials. If a surgeon-in-training appears at the bedside to perform a procedure, make sure that the senior surgeon knows about it and agrees to it beforehand (unless it is a truly urgent situation.
7. The potentially most dangerous area of the hospital is the MRI suite. It contains an extremely powerful magnet that acts on every magnetizable object in the room. Metal devices or fragments inside the body can shift and damage tissue. Loose objects in the room, such as an oxygen tank, will “home in” on the magnet at great speed, regardless of what is in the way -- such as your head. Make sure your technician has checked on all possible dangers. There are no “national” guidelines for MRI safety.
8. Every study or lab test performed is ordered to answer a specific medical question. For instance, Is the bone broken? Is the pneumonia improving? Has the heart suffered damage? If you don’t know why a test has been ordered, clarify it and write it down. Once the test is performed, make sure that the physician who “read” the results actually answers the question.
9. Wear a shrill whistle on a chain around your neck, hidden under your top, to use ONLY in the case of a true desperate emergency.
10. As soon as possible after discharge, obtain and review the records of the stay with an eye towards accuracy, logic, and the credentials of the physicians. Make sure the reports of studies answer the medical question that was asked, and that the reports of students and doctors in training have been annotated and co-signed by the supervisor.

If this all sounds daunting, well, it is. But after thirty years as a physician, and sixty-seven days and nights with my husband in four different hospitals, I can’t honestly offer less intimidating guidance.

It is likely to be decades before we get medical care under better control, and in the meantime it is up to us, the Sentinels of our loved ones, to become the crucial missing member of the Health Care Team: that is, the person ultimately in charge.

Copyright © 2007 Laura Nathanson

  BUY NOW!!! The book: What You Don't Know Can Kill You: A Physician's Radical Guide to Conquering the Obstacles to Excellent Medical Care

"Dr. Christine Horner's Program To Protect Against & Fight Breast Cancer" by Dr. Christine Horner

You have the power and ability to influence your state of health more than you ever imagined. Your choices every day significantly influence your chances of staying healthy or developing a disease such as breast cancer. My recently released book, reveals all the research-proven “natural” approaches that can dramatically lower your risk of breast cancer, or if you have breast cancer, help you to fight it and live a long healthy life. Here are a few tips:

1) Eat a plant-based diet high in organically grown fruits, grains and vegetables (especially cruciferous) and whole grains
2) Avoid health-destroying fats like trans fats and saturated animal fats. Instead, eat health promoting fats, like omega-3 fatty acids found in flax oil, everyday.
3) Think Asian: Make whole soy foods, green tea, maitake mushrooms, garlic, turmeric, and wakame seaweed part of your regular diet or take them as supplements
4) Take a good daily multivitamin 
5) Take protective supplements daily like calcium D-glucarate, grape seed extract, selenium and CoQ10
6) Avoid red meat, sugar, alcohol, and smoking
7) Keep your weight ideal
8) Exercise regularly
9) Go to bed by 10 PM and get up by 6 AM and make sure your bedroom is as dark as possible
10) Use nontoxic products 
11) Practice effective stress-reducing techniques daily
12) Laugh, stay positive, and make it a point to take care of your needs

Buy The book: Waking the Warrior Goddess: Dr. Christine Horner's Program to Protect Against & Fight Breast Cancer NOW! 

"The Natural Way of Healing" byline: Rachel Madorsky

For ages, our ancestors carefully collected everything that was successfully used for healing a human body. To achieve the goal of healing the human body - either materialistically or spiritually - everything was considered good.

Our ancestors were masters in treating the human body with herbs, aroma oils, massages, music, songs, crystals, water, fire, charms, prayers, silence, noise, the laying of hands or not, singularly or with groups, and so on.

Modern medicine and the pharmacy industry are losing the fight with chronic diseases and bacteria resistant to antibiotics. Everyone has heard of spontaneous recoveries of terminally ill patients. Doctors often have no explanation and question whether the initial diagnosis was correct. These facts and others are pushing people to look for alternative treatments.

Mystery surrounds one of the ageless kinds of healing: spiritual. It has other different names like Psychic, BioEnergy, Polarity, Magnetism, Therapy Touch, Reiki, and Subtle Medicine. When a sick person desperately needs healing and asks the Higher Source, help seems to come immediately through gifted people in the form of an invisible force. Some people call this source God. Others are more comfortable calling it the Divine Spirit or the Universal Mind .

From my own experience, I know healing may occur under the Higher Source's power not only at home, but in different religious places and at locations with high energy levels. In those places, cultural or traditional rituals may be performed.

Connection with the Higher Force by the sick person or the healer, who acts as an instrument in hands of the Cosmic Power, happens when their prayers and requests are in unison with the goal of our Creator.  

All genuine spiritual healers acknowledge that the healing power is not their own, but that they are only acting as a channel for the Higher Forces of the Universe. In the beginning of the healing session, healers mentally connect their Ego to the Higher Source of Subtle Energy through prayers or visualization. 

Spiritual healers use various techniques to attune the body to the Subtle Energy, thus enabling the body to heal itself. Sometimes healers use personal touch. Sometimes healers visualize the sick person who might be located miles away, sending waves of energy in form of the unconditional love and kindness. Holding a photograph or a letter from the patient is very helpful in Absent Healing. The Absent Healing has its disadvantages because it is difficult to uncover the cause of the problem and often sick persons do not care about the healing procedure. In my practice, I prefer to meet my patients in person. 

My patients have reported different sensations from icy cold, to hot, or from a slight warmth, to tingling, wind, pressure, or vibrations or movement from within the body. Because of these sensations, it is easier for people to accept the power of healing and its result. The best results are achieved if the patient is receptive and accepting of the healing power. 

From the first moment a sick person acknowledges the existence of his illness, he is better armed to win the battle with the disease. Healer and doctor will be his beacons who will guide him toward to recovery. They will provide advice about diet, breathing and physical exercises, imagery and meditation or to decide to change habits. Sometimes doctors who follow our common patients call me.

Recently I participated in an international conference. During that event, I found all medical experts from around the globe are looking for ways to combine the modern methodology of treating people with the ancient experience of grandparents. The name of that new approach is Integrated Medicine!

The fundamental power and path to the healing are within and must begin there first. Those who support us are only guides to our health.

If you do not ask, nothing will happen. Remember God helps those who allow Him to help them. 

Buy her book here: Create Your Own destiny! Spiritual Path to Success